waves of suicidal thoughts

[sazco]

Lately everything has been good I just bought a car with my step-dad he understands what im going through and knows I can't work right now so he's willed his savings and car to me and I'm doing everything in my power to make him and myself proud. I don't have episodes of rage if i get mad now it's short lived and my medication is keeping me pretty even. But at least twice a week I go into this unbearable place in my mind where there's no hope where i feel the need to scar hurt or shoot myself. my brain says no one cares you should do it. i feel that bad like today i stayed in my bathroom for 50 minutes talking myself out of self-harming. after that it went away. but when it hits i just feel so low and worthless. like i'm something i should toss into the trash and never remember again. what do you guys think?

[Kirk]

Suicide is not the answer. Self harming is not the answer. Try to think positively. People care about you. You are young and have
your whole life ahead of you. You have hope for the future. I would talk to a mental health professional about your thoughts. Remember,
people care about you so suicide and self harm is NOT the answer. Get the help you need and you will be on the right track.

[sazco]

Suicide is not the answer. Self harming is not the answer. Try to think positively. People care about you. You are young and have
your whole life ahead of you. You have hope for the future. I would talk to a mental health professional about your thoughts. Remember,
people care about you so suicide and self harm is NOT the answer. Get the help you need and you will be on the right track.
i think and do all that already.

[annemieke87]

Saczo,

You need to be strong in this. Is your psychologist helping you with these suicidal thoughts? What did you learned so far? Glad you experienced that these thoughts slip away over time, but I can not imagine how hard it must be for you though. You must know that thoughts can be changed, I think you should work on that with your psychologist instead of fighting them over and over again.

Maybe you can try to call with the suicide prevention lifeline if you need someone to talk to and there is no one around to talk to.

[sazco]

Saczo,

You need to be strong in this. Is your psychologist helping you with these suicidal thoughts? What did you learned so far? Glad you experienced that these thoughts slip away over time, but I can not imagine how hard it must be for you though. You must know that thoughts can be changed, I think you should work on that with your psychologist instead of fighting them over and over again.

Maybe you can try to call with the suicide prevention lifeline if you need someone to talk to and there is no one around to talk to.

i am very strong. my psychologist is helping me with a lot and she does a great job. the urges and feelings can last quite a while but if i can't just ignore them or they become too intolerable i hide in my bathtub and try to get a grip. you're right thoughts can be changed and that's what i've been practicing. but the random lows are so low i cant focus on what im doing in the present moment. it can last from an hr to a day. and my medication s work great too i dont understand it.

[Anne1221]

Do you see a Psychiatrist for your medication? What do you take and how much are you taking? He/she is someone you need to talk to because if your medication really is working great, you shouldn't have these kinds of lows. Every time I have lows, I go see my Psychiatrist, he gets my medication right, and then I'm okay. I just keep trying to cut back because it makes me tired, but being depressed is way worse than being tired.

[Dr Feelgood]

We don't know what awaits someone who takes there own life ,a desperate act of someone in so much pain it becomes unbearable ,
We don't know if anyone would find the peace they may be looking for , if you should find yourself stood at the threshold to this unknown doorway then turn away and look within the welcoming doorways of this forum ,it is a warm friendly place and no matter how bad you feel there are many kind people within these walls who will offer you words of encouridgement and support .
Read their posts and you will see you are not alone .

[Kirk]

Maybe if you talk to clergy, they may help guide you the right way. I am not religious, but I do pray sometimes.