Anxiety/Depression late 20's and previous relationships- Fear of rejection again...

[Yellow428]

Hi,

Like many of you I suffer from anxiety and depression. I work full time and have a career in my field. However, I am struggling with dating. I have had a few serious boyfriends over the years ( I am 27 now) and the past 3 of them all broke it off with me because they couldn't handle my anxiety and depression. I take medication, have a family doctor, a psychologist and a therapist. I do everything I can to not let it effect me.

In the past I have bought my boyfriends at the time books, they never read them. I am also very into fitness and am actually pretty close to a figure competitor. I find dating men with who are educated helps, but I find it to be my biggest weakness. I have friends, a good family, a life but I am always scared once I get to date 3 or 4 with someone that they will just end it due to my anxiety issues. I usually try to tell them around that time frame.

Do any of you suffer from this? I just feel like they are shallow... If i met someone with IBS or a liver disease i would not judge them. How do you get past these issues? I guess I am afraid to be hurt again. All my friends are married now, or engaged and my best friend just had twins. I am doing the online dating thing, and am on match and eharmony but i do not know why I am afraid.

Any advice?

My parents say to hide it, but i mean they will know eventually.

Thanks

L

[Kirk]

That is a tough call. I am old now at 59. I was married to my first wife for 3 and half years and my health anxiety helped contribute to my marriage demise.
Although, it did not give her an excuse to start cheating on me either. I have now been married almost 30 years and my wife now has been understanding
over the years with me. Someone is out their just for you. Don't be too hard on yourself as everyone has some issue. Don't give up and just be positive.
I am sure you have qualities that will make you special for someone.

[Anne1221]

I don't think I would announce after date 3 or 4 that you have "anxiety and depression issues". Just wait until something comes up and then you can explain to them why it's hard for you. Let them see all the good in you and then when the tough things come along, they will work with you. It's a tough call, but when you announce "I have this or that" it can scare people. If you did announce on a third date "I have IBS" or "I have liver disease" they might bail on that too.