Anxiety attack over new puppy

[Sammycool]

Hi

I'm really hoping someone will be able to help me by providing some words of support?

I am a 34 year old female, I have 6.5 year old twin daughters and a husband. We have just adopted a 9 month old labradoodle puppy. She is a well behaved (mostly, for 9 months old) and polite young dog but she has triggered a MAJOR anxiety spell for me.

I can't eat, or sleep, I've lost weight, I'm tense the whole time and cry A LOT. I keep letting my anxious thoughts snowball until they are out of control. I fear she'll hurt my kids (which I know is crazy as she is very docile) but I start to think she'll suddenly turn into a wolf and bite them, I fear other people will think I'm irresponsible or my house is dirty from owning a dog (but I know there's nothing wrong with being an animal lover, I always have been) and then my worries spread to my kids. What if I don't have enough time for my kids anymore? One of them is struggling a bit with school work and when she mentioned a problem that came up at school today it made me feel like I'm a terrible mother, I'm letting them down and they'll be better off without me. I feel weak.

Please can someone tell me I'm not mad, that it'll just take time to adjust to the change of the new pet and that most people enjoy having a family dog. I've forgotten the reasons why we wanted a family dog in the first place. If you've got a dog and she's helped with your mental health I'd LOVE to hear all the positive points.

I'm so glad I found this forum and I really hope someone can help me start to feel better.

[Kirk]

We have had 2 Lab mixes and they are great with kids. Our first Lab mix lived until she was 14 and
the Lab mix we have now is 13. You will adjust. I would just give it some time. We NEVER had any
issues with our daughter with either dog.

[brfoo]

Take a deep breath. Then let it out. Nothing is perfect Sammy. :-) There are no perfect mothers, perfect fathers or dogs or anything. What makes a change though is trying. People here of course can encourage you, but the most important change has to happen inside and by you. I think there are a few good threads on the forum that might help you deal with these worries, just keep reading on.

Having a dog in my life as a kid was one of the best things ever. It taught me how to be responsible and care for someone. She was not perfect (oh yeah, she used to dig up everything in the garden when she was little- my bad actually, I was supposed to teach her not to...) but she was my friend. I was not perfect, I did not teach her everything I could have, but still these are one of the best memories I have from my childhood.

About the house being dirty. Well, it happens. You don't even need a dog for that :) I know it is hard, I fall in the trap here and there as well, but you have to let go of the feeling that others judge you. Most of the time they don't and even if they do, it does not matter, because it is your life. You care and you try and this is what counts.

All I ask of you, if your worries might make you to give up your dog, please ensure that he or she gets a nice new home.

I wish you all the best ;)

[Sammycool]

Thank you both so much for your replies. I really think it's the change rather than the dog herself that has triggered this for me. She really is a good dog, and is doing so well.

[Sammycool]

It's great to hear your success stories. It's easy for me to focus on the negatives at the moment and forget the good points of owing a family dog.

[Sammycool]

I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. Yesterday I had to take our cat to the vets as she was limping. It turns out she has broken her leg (she's refractured an old break) and yesterday she had her leg amputated.

The vet was very pessimistic about introducing a new dog to a three legged cat. He said the cat would be unduly stressed and her quality of life would be affected.

Now what do I do?

I'm totally devastated. We were just making progress with our pup and we love her very much but the cat was here first and we love her desperately. I feel like I have to rehome one, but I do not want to. I asked the vet if I could just always keep them apart and he said that cats are territorial and she will be stressed out just knowing the dog is downstairs.

This situation has certainly put my last panic into perspective. I'm no longer panicking about having our dog, now I'm panicking about losing her.

[Sammycool]

I feel like I'm living in a nightmare. Yesterday I had to take our cat to the vets as she was limping. It turns out she has broken her leg (she's refractured an old break) and yesterday she had her leg amputated.

The vet was very pessimistic about introducing a new dog to a three legged cat. He said the cat would be unduly stressed and her quality of life would be affected.

Now what do I do?

I'm totally devastated. We were just making progress with our pup and we love her very much but the cat was here first and we love her desperately. I feel like I have to rehome one, but I do not want to. I asked the vet if I could just always keep them apart and he said that cats are territorial and she will be stressed out just knowing the dog is downstairs.

This situation has certainly put my last panic into perspective. I'm no longer panicking about having our dog, now I'm panicking about losing her.

[Kirk]

I am very sorry to hear about your cat. It is very stressful indeed. You could try it for a while and see
how it works out.

[Dahila]

Sammycool you got you the best gift ever, the dog is young now, but with time you will become the best friends. We had to put down dog weeks ago, he was 15 and my grandchild was with that dog from very beggining to the end. he was 15, long good life. Dogs are blessing in our life, they give unconditional love, acceptance, no judgement............ I bet you are going to fell in love with dog. Touch him often and children are safe with dog, but it must be trained not to jump on people...
I ency you so much. I would love a dog, but I worry that in my age , anything can happen, and I would not like the dog to go some strange house and be abused. This is a reason I do not have now. ehhhhhh

[Sammycool]

Thank you Dahila and Kirk. I am going to give the situation two weeks and see how our cat feels then. I'm heartbroken and completely overwhelmed.

[Dahila]

well I do believe the cat will teach the puppy not to touch her, when she does not want to. I was breeding and judging dogs for years. what is terrifying is ; how ignorant vets are when it comes to animal behavior. They should keep doing what they were trained to; heal.
I had a few dangerous dogs I was training, or retrained them, and my cat never let them get what they wanted. Cat is more dangerous for dogs than the opposite. No dog will match cats ability to react so fast........Puppy is going to get a lot of slapping and will leave the cat alone. Try to keep an eye on pup not to bother the cat for few days, Be firm with NO and No means no:) For dogs it means DO NOT TOUCH. Use firm voice and not to loud

[Sammycool]

Thank you for your advice Dahila.

I just feel so overwhelmed by this situation. It's really triggered a lot of severe feelings of anxiety and depression. I wake up every morning in the grips of a panic attack, I dread the day ahead and just want to hide away. If I rehome the dog I feel like life will be back in control again, but will I live to regret this for the rest of my life? Also, what if I never regain control of my feelings again? I can't go on feeling like this.