i really appreciate any help i can get :/

[brittypixi]

i know i post alot, but i have really been feeling down lately, and when people reply to my messages it really helps. :/

so ive been having these doubts about my boyfriend for almost three weeks now, its really eating me up. ive been thinking what if i never loved him and im just obsessed? or comfortable? but then, that doesnt really make sense i dont think.. i cant really imagine my life without him, it just feels so right to be with him. we have fun together and before this month i never ever had doubts about him and i loved him so so much, but once this thought crossed my mind it started eating me up. my parents and friends and counselor tell me that its apparent that i love him. and i just, i dont want to be without him, he makes me happy and he takes care of me, and i really honestly feel like i love him but these stupid doubts are eating me up, they are seriously making me miserable! once something crosses my mind i seriously obsess about it and i cant stop and i feel like because ive obsessed about this so long that i cant make it go away. but honestly all i want is for the doubts to go away, me to be with him in love, get married, have kids, everything i wanted before these doubts started and now im so confused and lost and just want to feel like i did before all this. i dont want to lose him.. i really dont.

[Evilbob333]

Don't fret...these are just obtrusive thoughts...and are absolutely normal. I have had them about absolutely everything and they are horrid and seem to be about the things that are most dear and important to us...i used to have them about my girlfriend dying in her sleep and stuff. Just accept that they are part and parcel of you anxiety, tell yourself that you can deal with them and have dealt with much worse and carry on as best you can!

[brittypixi]

if you don't mind me asking, how did you get through your doubts? like how did you make them go away? they are so strong sometimes that i convince myself that they are true.

[Evilbob333]

Honestly...i havent gotten rid of them...and the reason is that EVERYONE has these thoughts...everyone in the world, anxiety sufferer or not. The difference is that we as anxiety sufferers cling to them and hold on to them and give them power...we feed them and magnify them by thinking about them so much. The key is, as has often been written on this forum, acceptance. Accept that they are just bothersome thoughts...they're not feelings, they're not real...they are just imaginings and wonderings...they are what i like to call 'What ifs'. As soon as you can accept that this is true, that they are merely a figment of your anxiety you will begin to lose your fear of them...and by losing your fear of them they will further lose power. i still have days when i get obtrusive thoughts but usually they go as soon as they come because i know that just because i think something it doesn't make it true, and so the thoughts just drift off...like leaves down a stream! I hope that helps!

[Carla]

Hi again
EvilBobs post makes a lot of sense. The way you are feeling is part of your anxiety. and is completely normal.The fear that anxiety causes just causes more fear and it feeds off itself. I can get anxious about people I love. I worry and stress thinking What If this and What If that until sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode. I used to worry about having another panic attack when I had them and the stressing and fear over it made them happen all the more. I relaxed my thinking about them and they went away. My questioning my relationship has caused problems in the past, and now what I do is think Ok my anxiety is not going to ruin what I have and I keep reminding myself of all the postives and not negatives. Just keep telling yourself it is part of your anxiety. You are getting anxious and fearful which just keeps the cycle going. It will all get better when you are less anxious. You and your boyfriend love each other, enjoy what you have and refuse to let anxiety ruin it for you - when you start questioning your rship then think of something positive about it to counteract that negative thought. Dont fight the anxious feelings, let them come but deal with them in a positive way and they will eventually go. I hope things improve for you.