marru
04-23-2016, 01:10 PM
I am at an all time low. I have never felt so rejected.
I have always been someone people dislike. At school I was bullied all the time. I was called a junkie because I had eczema, I was ridiculed for being ugly laughed at by people and the memories still haunt me today. I feel like such a loser, I'm 25 left school about 6 years ago what a loser am to still feel bad about it all.
In 2010 I went to UNI and had an excellent time for 2 years met lots of friends. One even wrote a poem about me she loved me so much as a friend, lets call her Debbie (which isn't her real name)
It all went tits up in 2013. In my last year at Uni I met this girl lets call her Claire (not her real name) and she became my friend and I developed feelings for her, but she then blocked me on FB. She lied to me saying she had deleted her FB account and when I found out and tried to talk to her about it it got ugly and she humliated me in front of the entire Union.
I was depressed for 2 years about this until about 2015 when I finally made it up with her, but it had a long lasting effect on my self esteem. In 2015 Debbie also despite claiming she would always be my friend and love me in 2013 refused to meet up with me, put me on restricted list on FB and when I asked why I was on restricted list she said "well we've drifted apart" When I got angry at that she refused to speak to me for months.
She also met up with all of our other friends from Uni (including on who said I was faking my depression to get attention) and took me off restricted list so that I could see that she was seeing them and then put me back on. We made up in 2015 sort of but she has been as cold as ice to me ever since and didn't even wish me a happy birthday on my FB.
This year another close friend lets call her Monica (not her real name) rejected me. I have known her for 6 years and I had some feelings for her too. I have been there for her through some pretty serious problems she has had. Anyway she told me she liked a friend of mine (that I introduced her to when I invited her to a night out with MY friends) anyway I told her I had had feelings and felt a little bit upset about it, but I didn't say "oh don't go out with him". After that me and her were alright but she asked me randomly how long I had liked her, and later if I wanted to lose my virginity. Yes I am a 25 year old virgin.
I got upset one time when I read an article that said virgins are looked on as the worst losers in our society. I tried talking to her about it as she was my friend. She then part way through our talk took offence when I said I feel left out. I simply meant that I felt left behind as I hadn't ever kissed, and everyone else had. She however took it the wrong way and said "I am offended I have never left you out of anything" and then she took me off FB. I tried to explain to her that wasn't what I mean but she blocked me. Then she ranted about me to my other friends calling me a self pitier and telling my friend that she liked how I was jealous of him and how I was a virgin and how she had no time for negative people.
I was so upset that I deleted my FB account.
That was two weeks ago and I just feel so alone. No friends, unemployed (I haven't been able to get a job since I graduated UNI in 2013) and I am overweight and a vrgin. I am a textbook worthless loser.
I have always been someone people dislike. At school I was bullied all the time. I was called a junkie because I had eczema, I was ridiculed for being ugly laughed at by people and the memories still haunt me today. I feel like such a loser, I'm 25 left school about 6 years ago what a loser am to still feel bad about it all.
In 2010 I went to UNI and had an excellent time for 2 years met lots of friends. One even wrote a poem about me she loved me so much as a friend, lets call her Debbie (which isn't her real name)
It all went tits up in 2013. In my last year at Uni I met this girl lets call her Claire (not her real name) and she became my friend and I developed feelings for her, but she then blocked me on FB. She lied to me saying she had deleted her FB account and when I found out and tried to talk to her about it it got ugly and she humliated me in front of the entire Union.
I was depressed for 2 years about this until about 2015 when I finally made it up with her, but it had a long lasting effect on my self esteem. In 2015 Debbie also despite claiming she would always be my friend and love me in 2013 refused to meet up with me, put me on restricted list on FB and when I asked why I was on restricted list she said "well we've drifted apart" When I got angry at that she refused to speak to me for months.
She also met up with all of our other friends from Uni (including on who said I was faking my depression to get attention) and took me off restricted list so that I could see that she was seeing them and then put me back on. We made up in 2015 sort of but she has been as cold as ice to me ever since and didn't even wish me a happy birthday on my FB.
This year another close friend lets call her Monica (not her real name) rejected me. I have known her for 6 years and I had some feelings for her too. I have been there for her through some pretty serious problems she has had. Anyway she told me she liked a friend of mine (that I introduced her to when I invited her to a night out with MY friends) anyway I told her I had had feelings and felt a little bit upset about it, but I didn't say "oh don't go out with him". After that me and her were alright but she asked me randomly how long I had liked her, and later if I wanted to lose my virginity. Yes I am a 25 year old virgin.
I got upset one time when I read an article that said virgins are looked on as the worst losers in our society. I tried talking to her about it as she was my friend. She then part way through our talk took offence when I said I feel left out. I simply meant that I felt left behind as I hadn't ever kissed, and everyone else had. She however took it the wrong way and said "I am offended I have never left you out of anything" and then she took me off FB. I tried to explain to her that wasn't what I mean but she blocked me. Then she ranted about me to my other friends calling me a self pitier and telling my friend that she liked how I was jealous of him and how I was a virgin and how she had no time for negative people.
I was so upset that I deleted my FB account.
That was two weeks ago and I just feel so alone. No friends, unemployed (I haven't been able to get a job since I graduated UNI in 2013) and I am overweight and a vrgin. I am a textbook worthless loser.