brittypixi
09-30-2008, 12:20 PM
this is long, im sorry but i would sincerely appreciate any help or advice, i dont want to lose my boyfriend over this because i know its really stupid..
so, back in july i got sick with food poisoning and it seriously screwed me up, i was sick for about a week and then for about a month after i had really bad anxiety about it and was having a terrible time eating.
so that passed, but then me and my boyfriend started having problems, i was treating him not so well and he told me if i couldn't change that he wouldnt be able to handle it and he would leave, which i understood and said i would work on it. but i had this intense fear that he was going to leave me, and i was terrified since we have always talked about marriage and our future and i just felt terrible when i thought of the fact that he could leave me.
well that also passed, and i was still depressed, so i went to see a therapist and she asked me strange questions about like how i would like to handle it if we broke up and everything. she made me feel really weird and later that night i started questioning and having doubts about my relationship.
now, with my anxiety, my problem is that once something crosses my mind, i can't stop thinking about it and i tend to convince myself stupid stuff is true, when in reality it is not.
so, its two weeks later and im still worrying about these doubts, and keep asking myself if im just comfortable and dependent on him or if i love him. when i think about it i think about all the things i love about him and everything that he does thats great, we have a ton in common, we have fun together, i feel comfortable with him, i love to see him happy, our sex life is great. when i think about things that would make me want to leave him all i can come up with is the fact that when we fight he gets overly mad. i know if i left him that i would come crawling back to him and that i would totally regret it because hes really the best thing and best person ive ever met. so why cant i shake off these doubts? or what do you think is preventing me or causing me so much trouble?
so, back in july i got sick with food poisoning and it seriously screwed me up, i was sick for about a week and then for about a month after i had really bad anxiety about it and was having a terrible time eating.
so that passed, but then me and my boyfriend started having problems, i was treating him not so well and he told me if i couldn't change that he wouldnt be able to handle it and he would leave, which i understood and said i would work on it. but i had this intense fear that he was going to leave me, and i was terrified since we have always talked about marriage and our future and i just felt terrible when i thought of the fact that he could leave me.
well that also passed, and i was still depressed, so i went to see a therapist and she asked me strange questions about like how i would like to handle it if we broke up and everything. she made me feel really weird and later that night i started questioning and having doubts about my relationship.
now, with my anxiety, my problem is that once something crosses my mind, i can't stop thinking about it and i tend to convince myself stupid stuff is true, when in reality it is not.
so, its two weeks later and im still worrying about these doubts, and keep asking myself if im just comfortable and dependent on him or if i love him. when i think about it i think about all the things i love about him and everything that he does thats great, we have a ton in common, we have fun together, i feel comfortable with him, i love to see him happy, our sex life is great. when i think about things that would make me want to leave him all i can come up with is the fact that when we fight he gets overly mad. i know if i left him that i would come crawling back to him and that i would totally regret it because hes really the best thing and best person ive ever met. so why cant i shake off these doubts? or what do you think is preventing me or causing me so much trouble?