jtntime09
04-19-2016, 08:21 PM
So I've been dealing with anxiety and panic disorder my whole life. I started on ativan, that didn't work because it wasn't long term, so my old psych put me onto klonopin all between the age of 15-18, was weaned off and off of it for 6 months. After that I got a second opinion as to what it could be. They put me back on klonopin (about 7 weeks ago) due to my chronic panic attacks (there was never a 10 min time span I didn't have one, and i tried so much to calm down). But at this point I'm curious to what else is wrong. I feel like I'm in a dream state day in, and day out. I have a regular sleep schedule of usually 9pm - 6-9am daily and have no issues with sleep (that I know of). I have black out moments where I have no idea what I did until I calm back down, and its a little blurry. (I don't see my new psych anywhere from 3 weeks to a month, yet I see my therapist weekly and have brought this to their attention.)
I know klonopin isn't good, but at this point its the only beneficial medication that I can obtain right now. I'm simply just simply living like this. I'm willing to live with the side effects if I can at-least be panic attack free and happy. Granted I have panic attacks in a life scenario, if someone were sick, life emergency, etc. I can't go out in public for too long otherwise I feel I get light headed and feel like I'm going to feint or my spirit is getting ripped out of my body and freak out and have to go home.
I have random mood swings. I lost my father back in '13 and everything is literally just getting worst. I've tried taking myself out of situations, changing things, just anything to disregard any simple triggers that may cause it, yet its still a continuous thing. I've tried hospitalization but I can't stand to feel practically "locked up" for more than a day and I simply discharge myself. I literally just feel like I'm in a dream state and nothing is real. It's nearly impossible to explain but I just don't feel alive, and I'm always afraid, I seriously feel like a walking ghost and I absolutely hate it. I also suffer depression which is rough (never been suicidal) just sick of living like this all in all.
At this point I'm looking for a 3rd opinion (not looking to wait another 2-3 months to get into to a new psychiatrist) to help resolve and maybe even pinpoint whatever the mental health issue may be. I appreciate all input and disagreements, at this point I'm just looking for help from the comfort of my own home. I randomly get super depressed, or super anxious. There is no reason whatsoever to be even anxious. My moods go from good to bad in the blink of an eye. A couple of my friends and family are thinking that I should try Fluoxetine or something along those lines of an SSRI. I literally can't even handle a job, I can barely even care for myself. I'm going for a mental health evaluation something hopefully this month to figure out exactly whats wrong. But right now I just need some opinions or ideas.
TL;DR: I feel like I can never focus or function correctly. I feel like everything is a blur, and my depression is terrible. I have absolutely no triggers. I just always feel like I'm stuck in a dark tunnel. Imagine hearing someone you love has randomly passed away, intensified by 100x, or being wanted by the cops (not knowingly) and seeing yourself on the news, intensified by 100x.
Thanks,
Justin
I know klonopin isn't good, but at this point its the only beneficial medication that I can obtain right now. I'm simply just simply living like this. I'm willing to live with the side effects if I can at-least be panic attack free and happy. Granted I have panic attacks in a life scenario, if someone were sick, life emergency, etc. I can't go out in public for too long otherwise I feel I get light headed and feel like I'm going to feint or my spirit is getting ripped out of my body and freak out and have to go home.
I have random mood swings. I lost my father back in '13 and everything is literally just getting worst. I've tried taking myself out of situations, changing things, just anything to disregard any simple triggers that may cause it, yet its still a continuous thing. I've tried hospitalization but I can't stand to feel practically "locked up" for more than a day and I simply discharge myself. I literally just feel like I'm in a dream state and nothing is real. It's nearly impossible to explain but I just don't feel alive, and I'm always afraid, I seriously feel like a walking ghost and I absolutely hate it. I also suffer depression which is rough (never been suicidal) just sick of living like this all in all.
At this point I'm looking for a 3rd opinion (not looking to wait another 2-3 months to get into to a new psychiatrist) to help resolve and maybe even pinpoint whatever the mental health issue may be. I appreciate all input and disagreements, at this point I'm just looking for help from the comfort of my own home. I randomly get super depressed, or super anxious. There is no reason whatsoever to be even anxious. My moods go from good to bad in the blink of an eye. A couple of my friends and family are thinking that I should try Fluoxetine or something along those lines of an SSRI. I literally can't even handle a job, I can barely even care for myself. I'm going for a mental health evaluation something hopefully this month to figure out exactly whats wrong. But right now I just need some opinions or ideas.
TL;DR: I feel like I can never focus or function correctly. I feel like everything is a blur, and my depression is terrible. I have absolutely no triggers. I just always feel like I'm stuck in a dark tunnel. Imagine hearing someone you love has randomly passed away, intensified by 100x, or being wanted by the cops (not knowingly) and seeing yourself on the news, intensified by 100x.
Thanks,
Justin