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sam1234
04-17-2016, 12:13 PM
It's been three years since I've wrote on the forum and I'm so sad to be in the same position I was!
For the last few weeks I have been suffering from horrendous constant anxiety and depression, waking up with the feeling of dread and wondering how I'll get through the day. The dr gave me diazepam and 10mg citalopram. I was on citalopram for just under 2 and a half years and came off them about 8 months ago. I never wanted the medication route but last time I was suffering badly the dr practically forced them upon me. I've been putting off having them again because I'm so scared of the side effects, I really struggled last time. I've tried to fight through it and do little things throughout the day. Pushing myself to go outside, even if it's just a walk in the garden (I become quite agrophobia if I don't go out for a while). When I give in though like today and take a diazepam, I feel so exhausted and spaced out that I don't have it in me to fight to make myself better and spend the day in bed crying, sleeping and feeling horrendous.
I guess I'm looking for reassurance that I can get better without medication?! 😞

DrazChaz15OCD
04-17-2016, 03:32 PM
Yo sam mate, if you feel like you NEED to take the medication at a specific time it's perfectly fine to do that. I know how dreadful and horrible it feels that there is no hope but in all honesty beating yourself isn't helping pal. I can tell by the way your taking little steps that you obviously have alot of courage and determination don't worry if some days you take medication because that's why it's there in the first place don't expect things to change instantaneously because nothing does, it takes courage (which you obviously have). Take one day at a time, I recommend making a diary and dotting down your thoughts and what you want to focus on. Adding on not beating yourself up if you want to stay inside for a day it's perfectly fine to relax we all have bad days, you should talk to someone about how your feeling sam because your important and your feelings are too. Do you have a therapist or family that is close you should definetely talk to them, they will be able to support you. Good luck pal, if you want to talk your family and me are always here to support you/give you advice.

Exactice
04-18-2016, 03:38 PM
Hey Sam, Welcome back, Guess what Im back too and guess what Im back on the meds too...... I am in a similar boat right now and I am going through the little struggles.

I was on Fluoxetine for 10+months, refill got screwed up and got off for almost 8 months, Hit a brick all and doctor has me back on, Its been about 30days and I am going through the hellish period, but I know during the 10months I did feel better.

I was truly afraid of the medication too, but at this time I am reserving those thoughts now and focusing on how to make my life better, with meds or without, I have a 7 month old daughter and want to give her the best life I can. So I need to do what I can to make my life better.

So moving forward, while I fight everyday, to get myself up and outside I do it with a purpose, Do you have a purpose? Do you have a reason, as small as it is, Try to find a reason? I love to WALK now, I dont walk fast, I dont walk for exercise, I just walk because I want to take a little step forward everyday.

You should be proud that you can take those little steps forward and you are able to push yourself, Keep doing it, It will get easier and easier and easier. This side effect period SUCKS with the meds right now, but the doctor that I have been with is confident that the benefits out way the side effects. I am sure your doctor feels the same!


Little be little day by day!