Embracing stress?

[Gwen123]

Hi guys, haven't posted on here for a while. I'm currently recovering from some bad anxiety episodes that led to me taking some time off Uni. Stress isn't something that I enjoy, or that many of us enjoy. But I've been trying to build up my stress tolerance and I think this week at work I hit my limit. To pay rent I've been working in a DIY store, working at minimum wage with colleagues that bicker, argue and have hissy fits that cause me more work and stress (honestly, I'm not paid enough to deal with this stuff) and doing increasingly more hours because we're short-staffed and I don't know how to say "no" to people.

I thought that working here might help me. I've lost a lot of weight because it's very physical, which has made me feel good. I have to interact with a wide variety of people, some angry, mildly aggressive customers, others lovely, others annoying. That's something I haven't had to deal with before and I think that's been good for me. My anxiety has had some things to say about it, but I'm trying to get myself better for the next academic year, so I want to push myself.

This week I agreed to work 6 days, because as I mentioned, I can't say "no" to people. It was a bad idea. I'm also on my period and having other health issues and with this job I don't get nearly enough time to sleep. There were a lot of issues going on at work and it was a very stressful and unpleasant environment. By day 5 I became so exhausted I could barely speak at some points. By day 6 I went home, bought loads of junk food, went foetal and really wanted alcohol. It was horrible. My anxiety was bouncing off the walls.

I doing all this to get better, to increase my stress tolerance and learn how to deal with more situations, but I think I've pushed myself too far. Has anyone else tried to deal with anxiety by pushing themself? Is there a safer way to do it? Does anyone know how I can deal with this better? I've done an MBCT course and that really helped, I'm looking for ways to deal with stress and anxiety.

[HighAnxiety]

I use to push my self very hard, For me there came a point of diminished returns. I would not push your self to your breaking point. In my experience the gains are minimal at best. Just try to do the best you can everyday. I think the less pressure you put on your self the better. That's awsome you went out and got a job! Just keep plugging along, your gains will come naturally

[Ponder]

I find there is much benefit to embracing what we can not change. I find that embracing often comes about through accepting those unpleasant experiences outside our control. Perhaps if you were able to reassess your aims and consider that you are more overwhelmed than actually accepting of your position; then you may find the space needed to make better decisions.

Little bit by little bit. Set some boundaries for yourself and explain to others what you have explained here. Write a list and take it to work with you. Next time you need to make a point, pull them out of your pocket and explain your current position. Once people can see clearly where you stand and that your making a valid point, you will be surprised at those who are worth working with, Vs those who ignore the legitimacy of your circumstances ... to the latter I would then question the need to pay rent in a place your unable to sleep? Time to reassess.

[The Intolerable Kid]

It sounds like you're trying to be productive and positive in regards to your stress. As someone who has worked 7 and 6 day weeks for extended periods (3 years being the longest) I certainly sympathize with you. I did it in my early to mid 20's, 6/7 day weeks are a worse idea the older one gets.
Stick to your guns and don't let them take advantage of you. If you feel that you can't work beyond 5 days, you can respectfully communicate this.
I let an employer know I didn't want to do their 2nd-3rd shift Monday thru Sunday anymore. I applied for a 5 day position on days, which I was qualified for. Their answer was it was too difficult for them to hire a replacement for me, no one wanted to work those hours (or do that much physical labor.) So, I applied for another job at another company and when I got that I quit. They asked me to stay and I refused. They called 3 times asking me to come back (they had people walk off the job in mid-shift) and I still refused. 20+ years later I am working 4.5 days a week.
Sometimes the solution is a job switch if they just won't treat you right.

[drinae]

Probably to some extent exposure and taking yourself to situations that you have trouble with can teach you to deal with them better in the long run. It's good that you've gotten a job and encountered new situations, and it's great that you're determined to get better. But I'm not sure that it should be guided by the idea of pushing yourself to your limits or close to a breaking point. It would sound more reasonable, if at the same time you were taking steps to learn to have a different response to stressful situations - examining your thoughts through some form of therapy or doing something like meditation, for example. If you're already doing something like that, then great. So maybe some kind of a combination approach would help,. really focusing on how to deal with stress instead of just trying to jump in and force yourself to deal with it. Anxiety easily increases when you are tired so it probably doesn't help if you're not getting enough sleep. These are just my thoughts, though, I don't have experience of trying to deal with anxiety just through pushing myself though I've certainly forced myself to do things here and there.