How do I get back to work?

[blccomp]

Hi. First of all thanks for listening and I hope this isn't a silly question.

A little backstory first because I think it is important to what I am going to ask. I went to a four year college and have a degree. After I was done with school I ran my own small business for five years until the economy collapsed in 08. Shortly after I started to experience severe panic attacks that left me in constant fear and left me in bed for several days at a time and so on. Of course I really didn't understand it at the time and only got help about three years ago. I was diagnosed with chronic panic disorder and OCD. The wife and I were expecting our first baby at the time and it was decided I would be the stay at home parent and take care of the baby.

Now after several years of treatment I am starting to do things again. I can drive my car and go to the store again which are big steps for me. With me making these steps I am getting a lot of pressure (mainly from the in-laws who never believed I was sick in the first place) to get a job. I honestly don't know if I am ready. Don't get me wrong I am not lazy everyday I watch our now two toddlers, cook, clean, and all the other things a stay at home parent does 10 hours a day. I guess my fear is going back to work when I am not ready and then hurting any progress I have made in the process. What really scares me is how hard the in-laws are pushing me. Does anyone have any tips or advice as to what I should do to get back into working or even if I should?

[Shineshelly]

Hi blccomp,

It sounds like you have really gone through quite a time managing your household and dealing with anxiety issues. It seems to me that you really have done your very best in caring for your children and keeping up the house; those are full-time tasks in and of themselves! I commend you for those reasons and am wondering if going back to work is something that you really need to do right now. Making decisions based on outsiders' opinions, even if they are family, is not usually right thing to do.

I don't know where you stand with God or religion but if I were you I would pray for direction and reexamine my priorities while leaving my options open. If your wife is content working full time and you continue not to feel led to enter back into the workforce, it could be an indicator that you are where you are meant to be for now.

Consider speaking with your wife about how her parents are making you feel and appeal to her to communicate with them that you have made decisions for the good of your family and would appreciate them trusting that. Counseling may be a step to take if efforts to communicate with your spouse and in laws are unsuccessful.

Best of luck to you!

[The Intolerable Kid]

Raising children is hard work, maybe your in laws aren't giving you enough credit. If you really want to get back out there perhaps starting with a part time job would help keep your stress levels down. Working online from home may be another option. I always recommend job hunters use Indeed.com and especially Glassdoor.com to scout for jobs. Glassdoor has reviews on employers and can give a good indication what you can expect at a particular company.