Lost

[Jay1030]

I'm so lost in life.. I really just hate living like seriously. I don't know about anything anymore, and I feel alone all the time.. I know it sounds like I'm just complaining but I'm serious. I hate having this fear feeling EVERYDAY. I have a hard time loving myself. This all is just to much.

[Nowuccas]

Hey Jay1030,

A previous post follows, modified for you:

Your subconscious mind, which controls your emotional responses, is unable to distinguish between reality and fantasy, so be careful about what you allow to become your focus. Learn to identify, and confront your fears: a fear confronted is a fear reduced, but a fear avoided is a fear strengthened.

Check out http://www.wikihow.com/wikiHowTo?search=fear such as:

How to Calm Your Fear Reactions: 10 Steps.

Read: Triumph Over Fear: A Book of Help and Hope for People with Anxiety, Panic Attacks, and Phobias, by Jerilyn Ross, & Fearless: Imagine Your Life Without Fear by Max Lucado, & The Fear Book: Facing Fear Once and for All, by Cheri Huber and June Shiver, & Feel the fear, and do it anyway, by Susan J. Jeffers., from your library, bookstore, or amazon.com.

It is important to deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, or images, or even an emotion, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. When you notice something negative, such as: "Why am I always such a scaredy cat?" or even: "I can't handle this fear!", or a disturbing image, *recognise that this is part of your negative mindset, from the deep, primitive, animalistic recesses of your brain, which needs to be counterbalanced by the use of higher mental functions. After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large red "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick", instead of "tactic".

In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version. Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.

"Just for today, I'll not be afraid of anything. If my mind is clouded with nameless fears, I'll track them down and expose their unreality. I'll remind myself that only I am responsible for, and in sole charge of my life. What happened yesterday need not trouble me today. Do I accept the fact that it's in my power to make today a good one just by the way I think about it and what I do about it?" Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditation.htm or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (a series of easy mental exercises only; no flexibility required) at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34171-Questions-relating-to-troubles-with-meditation&p=224951#post224951

Ask yourself EXACTLY what is it that you are afraid of. Put it down on a sheet of paper. What would you do in such an eventuality? Estimate the probability of it actually occurring. Work it all out, and record it. Then you will know, and you will have put a face on your fear, rather than attempting to grapple with some nameless dread. Give acupressure tapping / EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free at * http://eft.mercola.com or eftuniverse.com or www.tapping.com (13 free videos), or www.emofree.com. Professionally instructed is best. - There is a version for use in public places*, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping on your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I am sometimes unnecessarily afraid, I deeply and completely accept myself."

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't. 85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has one about overcoming fear and anxiety, and asktheinternettherapist.com has: Fears And Phobias Hypnosis CD. Professional advice is to use preferably only 1, or a maximum of 2 at any one time.

Some relevant reading about loving yourself: Learning to Love Yourself Workbook by Gay Hendricks, & Loving Yourself: Four Steps to a Happier You by Daphne Rose Kingma, & Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, from your bookstore, or amazon.com

[cloudy black]

hello Jay i know just what you mean. i really get where you are coming from. me i am filled with fear on a daily basis. my doc cant help me and the drugs dont work.. i immerse myself in being busy.. ive done all the self helps and how to fix it formulas and this book will change your life o double dear.

need some emotional support can't take any more info on board this bus. one to beam up Scottie