My Near Death Experience and Post Traumatic Stress (panic/anxiety)

[Moonstone]

Hi all,
I've had probably the roughest time I will ever go thru in my life. I haven't really been here for some time, cause I had forgotten how to type, use a computer, put sentences appropriately together amongst other daily activities that most take for granted. I did. My anxiety is so bad now...What happened? I will try to explain as best as I can. I need to share and reach out. I am isolating....not good for people with anxiety and the like. So I feel safe to share my experience here, so here is where I will start.

Anyway I didn't pay attention like I was taught to do, and along with some mix of meds like Zoloft, a few extra Benzos like Xanax and tones of grapefruit juice (this is what I was told by my husband, as I lost some memory) and landed in the hospital in a GCS 7 COMA! I almost died....thank God literally, that I came out of it in about a week, but even after waking up, I got an pneumonia and danced between going back under and the land of the living....between Critical Care Unit and the ICU, then quite awhile in the Neuro Unit, unable to walk. I had to relearn almost everything. I was like a big 9 month old, even needing to wear diapers in the hospital. Lying in a hospital bed, waiting for a nurse to clean me up and change my diaper.....well it gave me a bigger sense of the word humility, as my mind cleared and the more I became aware of what all happened, my anxiety turned into full blown panic attacks (oh and while I was in the Coma the doctors took me off ALL my meds like Zoloft, Lyrica, 3 different Benzos, sleep meds etc. off everything....cold turkey and quite smoking) All that in itself would cause great emotional/mental distress to anyone, let alone the reasons why I went into a coma in the first place. And the thought of being on life support (greatful and scary) and being near deaths door.

I have learnt how to walk again needing an aide (forgot to mention that I had a stroke too, which complicate things,) my whole left side went paralyzed temporarily. So when my anxiety hits I can't just jump up and go for a long walk like I use to..Anyhow, there is more, but fear that perhaps nobody would take an interest or care. My confidence has gone down....for now at least.

Thanks for letting share with you, my journey. A journey adventure that I am still trudging along with trepidation and full blown anxiety, for the most part, feeling so alone.

[Moonstone]

Well it was quite a rough day. Couldn't sleep because of a tooth that has an absses which takes my anxiety to a new higher level. My husband ever since I got out of hospital finally, has become almost abusive. When fixing our toilet with my mentally challenged brother, my hubby took spazz out temper tantrums, screaming, cursing and swearing an starts throwing things. The 5 year old in me runs and hides. I cannot talk to him in this state wanting to inform him of what is true but his mind is made up. He will turn everything around. I feel so alone and with all that has happened, it's just too much too much. He wasn't like this before SIGH...

[Moonstone]

WOW
Writing my original post, was like re living it all over again for me. My worst fear about writing this is that no body would care. My worst fear came true.... Tho 79 people read it but not one could take the time or care to write a note of encouragement. I almost die but Who cares, right.

[The Intolerable Kid]

Sorry for your troubles. Glad you were tough enough to pull through and recover.

[Ponder]

With respect to writing in public forums. When it comes to self reflection, the best advice I can give is to find a corner, plonk down a mirror and start chatting without the expectation of anyone showing up. Those that introduce themselves without the prompting will be worth the wait.

Focus on what matters, eventually those that matter will make themselves known and if not, you've probably helped more people than you know.

Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work. Your making some good ground.

Cheers
Dave.

[Nowuccas]

Hey Moonstone,

Doctors and psychiatrists rely a great deal on medications, and may be unaware of, or not possess the skills and time for the appropriate therapy, and a highly effective form of treatment for PTSD is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy.

View the http://1-800-therapist.com/ & http://www.metanoia.org/choose/ websites, and Google:"therapists; EMDR; (your location)" or use the phone book, and/or various associations for psychiatrists and psychologists, to find the nearest one using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy). In EMDR, a therapist will ask you to revisit a traumatic event and remember the feelings, negative thoughts, or memories associated with it. While you are doing this, the therapist may hold up two fingers about eighteen inches from your face and move them from side to side. You may be asked to track the movement of the therapist’s fingers with your eyes. As you concentrate on the traumatic event during therapy, you are trying to bring its memory to life. The mental imagery you are able to conjure up during the therapy session is then processed, aided by your eye movements, facilitating the processing of painful memories, enabling some of the powerful emotional states involved to be discharged to some degree, and helping to achieve resolution and a state involving less painful emotions. EMDR has 8 stages. Professional EMDR is always much preferable. It can be completely cured.

Sometimes, a beta blocker, such as propranolol, or atenolol is administered prior to being asked to recount the traumatic event, reducing the emotional charge associated with it, as it is re-recorded in your memory (which has been shown to be plastic, at least to some extent, with many people). Check out medications first at: www.drugs.com and www.rxlist.com/ Give acupressure tapping EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. Use the searchbar at www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists" and/or see the 13 free videos at www.tapping.com & http://www.emofree.com/freevideos.aspx for PTSD. Read: The Tapping Cure: A Revolutionary System for Rapid Relief from Phobias, Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and More, by Roberta Temes Ph.D., from your bookstore, Amazon.com or BarnesAndNoble.com

There is a version at http://eft.mercola.com for use in public places, (if anyone asks, you can claim to have a headache, as employ the acupressure massage/tapping on your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I suffer from PTSD, I deeply and completely accept myself." Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is also recommended, and has been used successfully, with PTSD. Some people, however, may benefit more from psychotherapy, or counselling, at least until they are some way along the path to wellness, and feeling psychologically robust enough for the harsher CBT. A free E course in it, which can help reduce the time spent in therapy sessions, is at: http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome Use a relaxation method daily, like http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditation.htm or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or yoga.

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't. 85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, http://www.asktheinternettherapist.com has: Defeat Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) CD - MP3 or http://www.hypnotictapes.com has: POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME (DISORDER) PTSD, OVERCOME. Professional advice is to use preferably only 1, or a maximum of 2 at any one time.

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Learn and develop proficiency in an anti-panic attack breathing method to use in the event of one occurring. Also learn, and employ either Progressive Muscle Relaxation ( http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html ) or acupressure tapping / EFT, whichever you find most effective.

My comprehensive previous posts about panic and anxiety attacks may be viewed at:

http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34482-What-can-I-do-to-feel-better-after-a-panic-attack&p=226304#post226304

GENERALISED ANXIETY DISORDER: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33964-New-to-the-site-and-looking-for-help&p=223989#post223989

HERBAL ANXIOLYTICS: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34269-5-Powerful-Tools-You-Probably-Haven-t-Tried-Yet&p=225415#post225415

NON HERBAL ANXIOLTYICS: (5-htp, etc.) http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34355-Help-Please!!!/page2

Hoping something in the above helps.

[James Waide]

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I got tired of the "happy pills" and knew there had to be a all natural remedy for anxiety.
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[lolfeg123]

Hi Moonstone,

Sorry to hear about your situation. Just know that you're one of the few stroke survivors who are recovering, rapidly in fact. My dad died recently following a stroke. He could not talk, comprehend, walk, eat solid foods, show compassion, or even move most parts of his body, for three years. He couldn't even recognise me. You, on the other hand, have potential to do much more, and I think it's only a matter of time before you begin to independently walk, because going from not constructing sentences to constructing a thread that everyone understands, is a huge improvement in a small time span. Good luck and have faith, Moonstone

[Moonstone]

Thank you so very much!! Your post means a lot to me, I know you understand. So sorry about your dad.....I am greatful that I got another chance to do this thing called life and getting better all the time. The hit my brain got, has kinda messed me up a bit. Thanks for the reminder that things could be a lot worse! Stay strong!

[Moonstone]

Thank you for your thoughtful post and the time it took! Appreciate it!

[Exactice]

Hey Moonstone, I am so sorry you had such a traumatic and challenging time with your Anxiety and Panic. Let me first say this, Great Job!!!! What do I mean well, you are doing very well actually, you have overcome such a traumatic indecent and more so, you are fighting back! While not at the speed anyone wants, you are doing the best you can at this point. The fears and struggles that you are dealing with are completely natural and anyone that has gone through their own panic and anxiety would understand the somewhat struggles you are going through.

At this time, keep doing what you are doing and reflecting, while it is scary it should also give you comfort, that you battled through one of the most difficult times you have experience and you triumphed. Now in the current you measure how quickly you over come your current attacks. See if you are finding ways to overcome them faster and faster. lets accept that we may not be able to make the panic and anxiety completely disappear but we can conquer them relatively quickly and without fail!

One day at a time and I feel you are on the right track!!!

[Kirk]

That was quite an experience and I am glad you came through it OK.

[bbryan0004]

I am new here
That sounds scary and isolating and not just from an anxiety sufferers point of view.
Do you have a support outside of this forum?
As much as I love the support here it's not the same as having one on one support by someone you love. I have a best friend and parents I couldn't live without. Sounds like your husband needs some help as well.
I hope all is going better today!