Just thinking, causes of my anxiety? Maybe school?

[ericgio87]

I used to be reaaal outgoing and it seemed like things were good. Good friends and a girl who really liked me and I was starting to come around to her, good grades, good job, good car, etc. And then I have no idea. It just went so wrong. I stopped being outgoing, my grades went bad, i lost my job, my car got in an accident thanks to a lady on her cell phone, and due to the changing nature of not being outgoing, the girl stopped liking me.

I can't find the cause of all of it. Therapy told me it was anxiety. Too much weed. So I stopped smoking pot which was really hard for me because all my friends still smoke.

Slowly things got better after an entire summer of isolation. I really burnt some bridges with the girl who used to like me because I called her a slut for going around with other guys all the time - which she told me she did - and i was angry deep down that she left me after saying for so long how much she liked me.

Now my grades are stable, got a new great car, and some new hobbies. I still feel a bit hard with the socializing. The whole ordeal really turned me into an introvert. Which is hard - meeting girls. Not to mention the friends I hung out with I think are all pretty tight knit so breaking the ties to the two girls probally well who cares about that anyways. I sometimes think the problem with being sociable now is that I still have anxiety, triggered by not feeling like being myself because I'm so distraught about what I'm doing with my life when I get out of college - I have no idea what I'm going to do but I feel like leaving the states or at least the east coast would be my first thing to do. So, there's a wrap. but i can't get over her. Sometimes it's bad dreams and other times it's like what's she doing? Sometimes I think if I rebridge the gap then we can get together again but she's completely moved on and in love with another guy. And I've been the friend to a girl I like while she goes out with someone else before, hoping I might get a chance, and it's a baaad place to be.

[anna_0range]

Sometimes we all need to take the time just to chill out and simply find ourselves.

I know what break ups are like. There hard i know. Not being able to eat. Feeling like your heart is in your throat, and that your throat is a bottomless pit. And just the thought of them being with someone else tears your apart...And it probably makes your anxiety alot worse.

This is what i would do if i was you.

I would take a semester off of school, if you know someone that lives in another state (and your ok to fly) then go visit them for a couple of months. Meet new people do new things. If not. Then just try doing things youve never done before. Take the extra step to hang out with someone that you might talk to at school alot. Maybe take up a new hobby...like working out. Biking. Yoga. Somthing like that. You can always meet new interesting people.

...About the weed thing. I used to smoke quite a bit myself. And yeah it was hard explaining to my friends that i didnt want to smoke anymore. Even harder trying to explain the anxiety simply because sence they dont have anxiety they dont understand! But. people will respect you more as a person the more self conifident you are...Especialy if you can commit to things (girls like to know you can commit to comthing also).

Stop thinking about everyone around you and your social life and just focus on YOU. People will notice you evolving and start to come to you more.

Hope all that helped.

[ericgio87]

thanks for the reply :)
I wish I could take a semester off but i hate stopping something i committed myself to...I've only got one semester left and then I'm done with college. I took up woodworking and it's awesome!!! Still a little uncomfortable around people because it's like I went from being anxious around them to being better. Not as confident around people yet and they can tell.

[Robbed]

It is entirely possible that smoking caused all of your anxiety problems. But the problem is that once your anxiety disorder is triggered by something, it takes a life of its own. In other words, you may have stopped smoking. But now you are dealing with the repercussions of the anxiety disorder itself. For instance, the anxiety disorder MADE you fearful of certain things (like social situations). So now this is a problem (even though it sounds to me like it was in no way a cause of your anxiety disorder). So what you need to do now is try to get back into the 'swing of things'. Most likely, this is going to require that you try as best as you can to get back into your normal life. This means, for instance, going out and doing things with your friends, despite feeling uncomfortable. But also keep in mind that you have anxiety disorder - you may not be able to handle a full load of courses at school. So try to take a lighter course load, or take time off. Most importantly, be patient. Recovery WILL happen, but it takes time, and sometimes ALOT of it. Recovery NEVER happens overnight.