Relationship Anxiety

[Cov]

Hello!

I am new on this forum. My story in a few words is that i suffered from anxiety 10 years ago. I overcame it 4 years ago and now its back.
I want it gone again of course. It does seem easier this time . The key was mindfulness. I just can't get a grip on it this time and right now im freaking out.

I realized that while im in an anxiety period, i start having doubts about my relationship. I start being suspicious too. Every message he sends can be the beginning of a thinking like : "why doesn't he want to talk to me?he doesn't want me anymore.. He is bored of me...He met someone else." Most of this comes from lack of confidence usually, but the thing is i am confident in general. I am stressed out due to unemployment and thats how all of this started, or at least i hope so.

Are my problems the ones that triggered the anxiety or is it the other way around? Does anxiety make the already existing problems worse, or does it create new problems that do not even have any basis? or both? I want this to stop and i am having a hard time lately. I try mindfulness but its like my mind wants to dwell on these things, like it needs to. I wasn't like this with my previous relationship and that one even cheated on me and i was even ok with that! This one now is really nice! I honestly do not think he is bored or "up to something". We are LDR, that is a bit stressful, but i do not want to leave him because of my anxiety which is probably triggered by something else.

I am in such a bad place right now, crying with almost every thought. I started magnesium citrate and 5htp about a week ago, so i dont think i will see results anytime soon.

I feel the resolution coming, it just doesnt stick for long. I wake up, feel confident about myself, calm myself down, reason with the negative thoughts like : "It's your anxiety talking"etc. I even let the feeling pass through my whole body and do not react. I can then see the "light " , i actually feel like its over, than BOOM. Everything comes back. Feeling in my chest, light headed, ringing in ears, negative thoughts, crying spells.

I want it to be over :(

[butterfly1212]

Hey,

I read your post, and I was thinking.
everyone gets relationship anxiety, some people get it more then others.
its not a bad thing. my old friend who was like a brother to me has anxiety and relationship anxiety.
and he said how can I help it. and I said this.

if she likes you and you like her she will like you for who you are and not what you have.
and anxiety is there not but it will go down the road and it wont be a part of your life.

[fearofwhatmight]

This is my main source of anxiety. Still trying to figure it out as well. Just know you're not alone and if you're not on meds, they help. They really do. Good luck with everything :)

[SunOfApril]

Hi there,

I don't how to response actually. :p
Because we're on the same boat, like perfectly the same. Unemployed & LDR : not a good combination huh? :p
Good things to know we are not alone and we are not the only "weirdo" that we think we are, once we found out there is others with the same condition.
Yet we still have to figure things out, to break that anxiety shield all over us.

I want to share something regarding the unemployed status we are currently in.
I resigned like 2 months ago with not that big amount in my account, but still enough to live for a couple of months with tight budget.
And I always wanted to do something on my own, so what I do was, bought a simple tools to start a business, hope for the financial to keep rolling, and slowly getting small interest from it.

Hopefully it will help you figure things out.
xx

[Iamok]

I've had relationship anxiety for the past few months, and I've found a blog that has been tremendously helpful to me. It's called Conscious Transitions. It's mostly about how relationship anxiety can appear in stable, healthy relationships, as a result of fear. Fear of loss, fear of heartbreak, fear of being vulnerable. Our mind drums up all sorts of negative thoughts, like that they aren't the right person for me, or I don't lovSometimes it feels easier to put up walls and push your partner out, or run, but it's so rewarding when you can learn to let go of the fear and let them in. It also stems for a need for certainty. Those of us who are anxious tend to see things as black and white, right or wrong, and if we ever have a shimmer of doubt, or anxious mind latches on to that. It's okay to have doubts, we can never be 100% certain about anything. Good luck, you're not alone :)