Help with abandonment

[anxix]

Hi all

A year or so ago I had a massive anxiety attack during a fight with my partner. During this I was begging my partner to help me because I couldn't breathe, and I wanted to badly hurt myself. Long story short, he refused and went to sleep. Since then I've had huge abandonment issues and I've detached myself from him because I don't want to appear weak again. He's been getting upset that I don't want to talk to him about anything, so I've promised to open up again.

Today, not even two days after this conversation, I told him I was worried about finances. I kept asking questions and was getting into a spiral, and was asking for him to help me through it, but again he just left the conversation and the same thing happened all over again. I don't know how to explain how this feels, like my foundation is being ripped from underneath me I guess, and I panic more and more and more until I do something stupid to make it stop

I need help on how to deal with the symptoms myself instead of needing to talk through it. Talking through it really helps but I don't have that support there

[fearofwhatmight]

I have been in the same boat. You do/say something stupid before someone understands or does something to help because they simply don't understand that feeling. Are you on meds? Talked to any professionals?

[salvator here]

Hi there..

I also have abandonment issues (always have) and for this reason, potential partners can sense this about me, and usually see this as permission to walk all over me. I'm better off single right now. Are you sure this relationship is healthy for you? I'm a little concerned tbh. I mean, he just goes to bed after you tell him you feel like hurting yourself, and just the mere mention of day-to-day concerns such as finances spirals into a arguments. Is he under some undue stress apart form your relationship for example - at work?

If you still care about each other, perhaps counseling could be an option..

Good luck and I hope things improve!!