False Assumptions

[Other shoe]

Can they see my fear? Do they know I am paranoid of what they think? As I walk around do I look foolish and clumsy? I don't know, but are they really looking at all? I'm looking at them, sure, but I am really just sizing up the threat. I have no problem with another person being nervous. If anything I want to calm their fear. Why wouldn't others do the same for me? Maybe they would, but my past tells me to be leery. I have been very embarrassed before, and ridiculed, and belittled. I worry that this will happen again. My life is formed of other people's opinions of me so to face that torment again is terrifying. I take a chance and talk with another and they share some tension themselves. We all have it in us just in different degrees. It's the people who couldn't care less what other's think that scare me the most and also causes me envy of their power. But being numb to others isn't really human at all. The compassionate folks are the people who understand the most, relate the most, and communicate on a realistic level. So why do I really believe that I am being judged on my every step, my every move, my tense appearance? Should I care? Most of the time it is all in my head. But it sure feels real!

[psych_student92]

I'm sorry you feel this way, I've had those thoughts before and they are certainly awful. I think a lot of the time we never think our own standards apply to us (e.g. we would show empathy to someone feeling nervous, but feel that this would never be reciprocated). We need to learn that our standards are often universal - in general, people want to understand and help.

[The Intolerable Kid]

I don't think it's all in your head. People never seem to give others the benefit of the doubt. That's all I really ask in life, but folks seem predisposed to making snap judgements on others, especially when they can sense a social anxiety problem. If a person is perceived as fearful or anxious that seems to be a signal to others that they are easy targets for so-called humor and unmitigated criticism. Stay strong, you're not alone in being treated this way.

[Berry-Bamboo]

They focus on themselves, and you focus on them. They get nervous, you calm them down so you don't get hurt. You get nervous, no one is there to calm you. Only there to hurt you. Because they don't focus on you, they only try to be strong against anything. They are willing to hurt you not to get hurt themselves. Let's just face it, everyone has weaknesses, and they are trying to protect these weaknesses at all cost. Your focus on them is the thing that ends up hurting you instead of protecting you. I still don't know how to be the same as them. It is terrifying to see someone get hurt because of me. No matter how hard I try, I always end up with this fear. Do you feel the same??