New member-loved one with anxiety

[Rob_Wes]

Hi my name is Rob.

I'm new to the forum and looking for advice.

I've met and fallen in love with a great woman. She means the world to me and I want to have a lifelong relationship with her. She is suffering from anxiety. I've read and worked on educating myself on this condition, I want to support her and help her as best I can.

She openly admits she has anxiety. I see she has a difficult time managing it. She doesn't sleep much and seems to be in a perpetual state of worry. She has endured a lot of loss and several traumatic events in her life that I believe has contributed to her anxiety. She doesn't believe things in her life will improve, she feels that she is constantly getting piled on with no relief in sight.

We discuss her anxiety, I'm glad we can talk about it. She has let me know some of the things that trigger her anxiety attacks. Anxiety seems to be a self fulfilling condition to me, in that her thoughts go to a negative place and they compound on one another. I don't want to continually discuss her anxiety with her because I feel that could be counter productive. I really feel terrible that she suffers from this condition and I feel helpless at times. I reassure her that things will improve over time, and that I will face this with her and do all I can to be supportive. She has a difficult time accepting that things can and will improve.

I'd really like to hear from any members who support a spouse or significant other with anxiety so I can be a positive influence on her life. She is a great woman, I am lucky to have her in my life. I want to do anything I can to help her.

Thanks in advance to any members who reply.

-Rob

[StCicada]

Its hard to be in a relationship when anxiety has you in its grip because its tough to give anything. Your best tact would be to be supportive and understanding without trying to be her problem solver/therapist/counselor/savior. Give her space as she needs it. Maybe even reduce the relationship to a simple friendship for now but continue to seek out other relationships. This will remove the pressure yet might motivate her to try something to change. Otherwise it will be unfair to both of you, you putting expectations on her and her robbing your bank for support but not giving what you need in a relationship.