How to change my thought process

[Lyra]

Since I was little I've developed the mentality of expecting the worst and hoping for the best. This has been my coping mechanism so I don't get my hopes too high in case something doesn't work out for me. As I look back at this mentality, I realize that it makes me think a lot about how things can turn out badly in certain situations. I know that analyzing the good and the bad is a good thing, but I seem to get wrapped up in the things that can go wrong. How can I look at things from a less negative perspective?

[Illuin]

Since I was little I've developed the mentality of expecting the worst and hoping for the best. This has been my coping mechanism so I don't get my hopes too high in case something doesn't work out for me. As I look back at this mentality, I realize that it makes me think a lot about how things can turn out badly in certain situations. I know that analyzing the good and the bad is a good thing, but I seem to get wrapped up in the things that can go wrong. How can I look at things from a less negative perspective?

I can sympathize.

I have gone through life always expecting bad things to happen. As such, I've never really applied myself as much as I should, and it has affected self-confidence, and impacted on my ability to just enjoy life as normal.

A few years back I had a such a bad underlying problem with anxiety that anything I could go wrong would become an obsession. This is also why I now suffer so badly with IBS. I used to think that I'd go crazy, and then that thought would create a panic, and when an attack kicks in, you really do believe you might be going crazy.

The truth is, anxiety is not about going crazy, but it is a cognitive disorder. Our brains become wired in such a way, that we end up worrying about things all the time, and cannot stop worrying about them.

What I have found has previously worked for me was looking at all aspects of my life, and looking where I can make small and gradual changes that would 1) be positive changes overall, and 2) reduce the opportunity for me to obsess over my worries.

Anything from diet, to sleep, and socializing, picking up a hobby have all helped. Also, not entertaining the negative thoughts. The trouble is, often we convince ourselves that they are valid thoughts. Often, they aren't. It's not normal to always expect the worst.

When I been at my best is when I have applied the above whilst also believing 100% that actually, anxiety is entirely optional. In fact, the best periods have been when I've simply told myself that anxiousness is a complete waste of my time. And time is precious. I want to be happy and enjoy myself. To hell with anxiety. I know it's possible to be in that state of mind, but sometimes it's really hard to get there. It might take a lot of work.

Have you tried counselling or Hypnotherapy? I am about to start Hypnotherapy and Prozac in order to address my obsession on my anxieties.

[Lyra]

Hello Illuin,

Thank you very much for your reply. I think I've also been suffering from IBS, but it only happens in the mornings right after I eat. I find it to be strange since I don't normally get anxious in the mornings. I haven't been to counseling or tried hypnotherapy, but I have done other things such as drinking tea and playing computer games to take my mind away from my worries. Sometimes reading will do the trick too. I've also developed a liking for scrapbook keeping and coloring. So in your opinion, do you believe that brushing aside the anxious thoughts will allow me to retrain my brain to think more positively?

[Nowuccas]

Hey Lyra,

A previous post follows:

Consciously and deliberately maintain a positive outlook, and be determinedly optimistic, even when the circumstances don't warrant it, for the benefits it will bring, later. People who do this live happier, healthier and longer lives.

Doctor Wayne Dwyer once said: "Negative emotions are preceded by negative thoughts". It is important to deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. When you notice something negative, such as: "I'm never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so pathetic/useless/such a loser?" or even: "I can't do this/will never get over this!", recognise that this is part of the mindset which will hold you back from progress. Having identified and labelled it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick", instead of "tactic". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version.

Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.

Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, like: "I am a unique individual, with my own set of skills, and good points", or "I may not be perfect, but I'm doing the best I can, right now". Practise a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditation.htm or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (a series of easy mental exercises only; no flexibility required) at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34171-Questions-relating-to-troubles-with-meditation&p=224951#post224951.

They will enable you to emotionally centre yourself, when practiced regularly, and are valuable methods of helping you through life's bad patches. Learn them at least a few hours apart, and preferably on different days, in the morning, or early afternoon. Use the one you find most effective. A minimum of 10 mns is recommended; 15 is better, and 20 is ideally preferred.

Alternatively, give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. There is also a version for use in *public places, (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind) "Even though I sometimes suffer from negativity, I deeply and completely accept myself." * http://eft.mercola.com or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) or www.eftuniverse.com or www.emofree.com.

Replace negative thoughts, or images with positive ones. If using an affirmation, such as: "I want to be more positive, every day" or "yes; I can do this", etc., make sure it is one you choose, which you feel comfortable with. It takes 30 - 40 repetitions, to establish a new habit, with most people, so I estimate a similar amount, here. "Even if we have some vague idea that we are not our feelings or our thoughts, when we are experiencing painful feelings or painful thoughts, we believe we have to feel them or think them just because of the fact that they are occurring to us. But painful feelings can be indirectly controlled by physical action, and changing our present thoughts for different thoughts (since feeling occurs as a result of thinking.) Painful thoughts can be directly controlled by choosing replacement thoughts for the ones that are troubling us. Sure, it takes some practice to change a habit of suffering. But it can be done. Of course it can't be done if we choose to believe that it can't be done. But, since the choice is ours, why not choose to believe it can be done, and do it?"

Check out http://www.wikihow.com/Special:GoogSearch?cx=008953293426798287586%3Amr-gwotjmbs&cof=FORID%3A10&ie=UTF-8&q=positivity such as:
"How to Make Positivity a Lifestyle: 5 Steps (with Pictures)", &
"How to Be Positive: 15 Steps (with Pictures)"

Also http://www.ehow.com/search.html?s=positivity&skin=corporate&t=all

Read: Mind Over Mood: Change How You Feel by Changing the Way You Think by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky, & Change Your Thinking by Sarah Edelman, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com.

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy. If not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has ones on developing a powerfully positive attitude, and developing powerful optimism.

"The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - Winston Churchill.

A post on IBS is below.

[Nowuccas]

IBS:

Check out www.vitamindwiki.com/Gut such as:

Inflammatory bowel diseases are helped by vitamin D – commissioned review Nov 2013

70 percent of people with IBS had symptoms relieved with high dose vitamin D – 2012

Gut microbiome massively changed by high dose vitamin D – July 2015.

See http://www.vitamindwiki.com/Sleep,+Vitamin+D,+Vitamin+B-12,+IBS,+Fibromyalgia+-+Gorminak+March+2015 about IBS.

Also from Dr. Gominak, about vitamin D:

"Low D affects all the blood cells: There are D hormone receptors on the red and white blood cells. When the white blood cells don’t have enough D they get confused, they start attacking our body by mistake. So all of the autoimmune diseases: multiple sclerosis, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, psoriasis, and ulcerative colitis, are related to low D hormone". More is via www.drgominak.com or enter: "Dr Gominak" at www.vitaminDwiki.com for her one page handout.

Google: "IBS; autoimmune disease"

View my previous answer about vitamin D and natural health at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?34051-Wobbly-eyesight

Note that most doctors would regard lower levels of vitamin D as being acceptable than those recommended by Dr. John Cannell of the vitamin D council, or Professor Michael Holick, a former member, and an expert in vitamin D.

Read: "Why are doctors reluctant to accept vitamin D", at:
http://www.vitamindwiki.com/Why+are+doctors+reluctant+to+accept+vitamin+D and in particular:
"Would you be opposed to my getting more vitamin D", at:
http://www.vitamindwiki.com/tiki-index.php?page_id=3162

Enter IBS in the searchbar at www.mercola.com and consider trying liquid chlorophyll; check out https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=IBS++cured%2C+liquid+chlorophyll&gbv=2&oq=IBS++cured%2C+liquid+chlorophyll&gs_l=heirloom-hp.12...3235.16843.0.18773.39.16.0.0.0.0.2555.4795 .9-2.2.0.msedr...0...1ac.1.34.heirloom-hp..39.0.0.jJhzle-okW8 and http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2015/08/10/food-medicinal-properties.aspx?e_cid=20150810Z3_DNL_art_1&utm_source=dnl&utm_medium=email&utm_content=art1&utm_campaign=20150810Z3&et_cid=DM82174&et_rid=1069572820

Read: Controlling IBS the Drug-Free Way: A 10-Step Plan for Symptom Relief by Jeffrey M. Lackner, &
Healing Foods: Cooking for Celiacs, Colitis, Crohn's and IBS by Elephant Publishing, &
I Have IBS...Now What?!!! A Comprehensive Guide for Patients with Irritable Bowel Syndrome by Ashkan Farhadi, &
Eating for IBS: 175 Delicious, Nutritious, Low-Fat, Low-Residue Recipes to Stabilize the Touchiest Tummy by Heather Van Vorous,
from your bookstore, or enter IBS in the searchbar at Amazon.com

View: http://www.online-herbal-remedies.com/herbal-remedies-for-ibs.html I suggest that you eat more in accordance with your "nutritional type" 20 question quiz: http://www.naturalhealthcoach.com/tools/... or www.mercola.com - 27 questions; do both. You may wish to sign up for their regular free Ezine, as they are the most visited natural health website in the world.

Try eliminating gluten & casein/lactose for 12 weeks, and eat more non starchy vegetables (5 serves, daily) & 2 of fruit, preferably including an orange, if tolerated. A Gluten Free/Casein Free diet, low in oxalates may help, (http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_21.html refers; GAD [anxiety] is addressed on pages 1, & i ) but I am informed that it can take up to 18 months for the digestive tract to fully heal. See: http://lowoxalate.info/ & http://www.greattastenopain.net Google GFCF recipes.

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has ones on Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and enter "pain" in the searchbar. View http://belleruthnaparstek.com/irritable-bowel-syndrome/2.html and click on the links, and check them out. Pain is also addressed.