Aarron
03-10-2016, 04:27 AM
Hi,
Many thanks to those that read this. I have suffered with anxiety for most of my life and finally feel in a position were I can fight against it. I'll post the question first so that it doesnt get buried in all the information provided. I have given a brief history of my life and condition to help you in giving any help or advice.
Help need with ::
I am currently in therapy for Generalised Anxiety Disorder which is going well. I struggle in many social situations, one being returning items to a store (this is just one that my therapist knows I can test myself with easily). So my therapist has asked me to go into a few different stores and buy an item, she will then accompany me during our next session whilst I return the item. She has asked me to make a list of questions that I would want the store employee who I deal with to answer about their interaction with me. Then, after I return the item, she is going to approach the employee and ask them the questions.
Reasons why I dont like taking an item back: I feel cheap, I feel that they will get confrontational, I feel they will judge me and look down on me, I feel I will not come across as a nice person, I feel like I'm lying about why Im returning the item even though its the truth, I feel embarassed, feel I look uncomfortable, I feel my speech is different (slurred or I sometimes stutter when anxious)
Reason for help ::
I don't have enough questions below and need help in figuring out some more. Part of me is not sure why I feel the fear/anxiety, so I am struggling to come up with questions that I want the person I will be dealing with in the store to answer about me. I need to think of open questions that my therapist can ask the employee, so far I have:
How did he look
How was his speech
How did he come across
Brief history of me ::
Apologies if this seems all over the place.
My childhood was pretty poor. My father beat me from the age of 5 to 16, he beat my mother also but not sisters. He did drugs and drank heavily, and in doing so he would constantly call me names, belittle me, argue with me and try to find a reason to hit me - there was no love or bond with him at all. The mental abuse was as bad as the physical, and I put the anxiety I feel down to this. I never did drugs or drank alcohol despite him offering me it when I was around 13. My refusal embarassed him in front of his friends and although he never beat me in front of them it would come later.
My mother was the only person I could turn to, she was there for me on most occasions after I was beaten. Despite her understanding what I was going through, several of my fathers beatings came because of her. Any bad behaviour I displayed to her, she threatened to tell my father and obviously she did which resulted in me listening anxiously in my bedroom, waiting for him to walk up the stairs to my room. There are several severe beatings which I wont go into but it lasted until I left home and have not spoken to my parents since. I have no friends or other family apart from my partner and 3 children.
If i mak friends during college, university, work etc. After I leave or it finishes I never keep in touch, and if I go out in public and see them, even though we had a great relationship, I get very anxious and will do everything I can to avoid them.
As a young adult, I lived with a girl from 16-19, its at this point I realised I had a problem. As her friends and family would come round, I would stay in our bedroom. I would feel very uncomfortable around them and then knew I was home. As I began to feel this I just thought it was shyness, I later believed it was because I was introverted, it wasnt until I was 30yrs old that I disocovered it was a form of anxiety. We broke up and ive been with my current partner since. I have avoided most situations that have made me anxious, this includes changing jobs, dropping out of university in my last year. The anxiety has seemed to take over my life. I am not afraid to go out doors or anything like that, but I have stayed at home for sometimes weeks on end without going out, and that feels good.
Face to face conversations with strangers worry me alot, especially when I cant rehearse the conversation as I dont know how it will go. I get really anxious at work, I cant relax and get intimidated around every employee who is in a superior role than me. I feel emotionally and mentally weak, like I have not matured. I am 32 but feel in my mind that emotionally especially, I am that of a teenager.
I get easily intimidated, especially by men - aswell as having my father abuse me, his brother sexually assaulted me. Not sure how all these events relate to my anxiety but thought best to include then anywhere to give you a better understanding of me. My therapist does plan to send me for a mental health assessment as she believes my past may have created other issues.
I appreciate and am thankfuly for anyone who was able to read this and relate. If you feel you can offer any support, especially with the questions my therapist has asked me to come up with, I will be grateful.
Thanks,
Aarron
Many thanks to those that read this. I have suffered with anxiety for most of my life and finally feel in a position were I can fight against it. I'll post the question first so that it doesnt get buried in all the information provided. I have given a brief history of my life and condition to help you in giving any help or advice.
Help need with ::
I am currently in therapy for Generalised Anxiety Disorder which is going well. I struggle in many social situations, one being returning items to a store (this is just one that my therapist knows I can test myself with easily). So my therapist has asked me to go into a few different stores and buy an item, she will then accompany me during our next session whilst I return the item. She has asked me to make a list of questions that I would want the store employee who I deal with to answer about their interaction with me. Then, after I return the item, she is going to approach the employee and ask them the questions.
Reasons why I dont like taking an item back: I feel cheap, I feel that they will get confrontational, I feel they will judge me and look down on me, I feel I will not come across as a nice person, I feel like I'm lying about why Im returning the item even though its the truth, I feel embarassed, feel I look uncomfortable, I feel my speech is different (slurred or I sometimes stutter when anxious)
Reason for help ::
I don't have enough questions below and need help in figuring out some more. Part of me is not sure why I feel the fear/anxiety, so I am struggling to come up with questions that I want the person I will be dealing with in the store to answer about me. I need to think of open questions that my therapist can ask the employee, so far I have:
How did he look
How was his speech
How did he come across
Brief history of me ::
Apologies if this seems all over the place.
My childhood was pretty poor. My father beat me from the age of 5 to 16, he beat my mother also but not sisters. He did drugs and drank heavily, and in doing so he would constantly call me names, belittle me, argue with me and try to find a reason to hit me - there was no love or bond with him at all. The mental abuse was as bad as the physical, and I put the anxiety I feel down to this. I never did drugs or drank alcohol despite him offering me it when I was around 13. My refusal embarassed him in front of his friends and although he never beat me in front of them it would come later.
My mother was the only person I could turn to, she was there for me on most occasions after I was beaten. Despite her understanding what I was going through, several of my fathers beatings came because of her. Any bad behaviour I displayed to her, she threatened to tell my father and obviously she did which resulted in me listening anxiously in my bedroom, waiting for him to walk up the stairs to my room. There are several severe beatings which I wont go into but it lasted until I left home and have not spoken to my parents since. I have no friends or other family apart from my partner and 3 children.
If i mak friends during college, university, work etc. After I leave or it finishes I never keep in touch, and if I go out in public and see them, even though we had a great relationship, I get very anxious and will do everything I can to avoid them.
As a young adult, I lived with a girl from 16-19, its at this point I realised I had a problem. As her friends and family would come round, I would stay in our bedroom. I would feel very uncomfortable around them and then knew I was home. As I began to feel this I just thought it was shyness, I later believed it was because I was introverted, it wasnt until I was 30yrs old that I disocovered it was a form of anxiety. We broke up and ive been with my current partner since. I have avoided most situations that have made me anxious, this includes changing jobs, dropping out of university in my last year. The anxiety has seemed to take over my life. I am not afraid to go out doors or anything like that, but I have stayed at home for sometimes weeks on end without going out, and that feels good.
Face to face conversations with strangers worry me alot, especially when I cant rehearse the conversation as I dont know how it will go. I get really anxious at work, I cant relax and get intimidated around every employee who is in a superior role than me. I feel emotionally and mentally weak, like I have not matured. I am 32 but feel in my mind that emotionally especially, I am that of a teenager.
I get easily intimidated, especially by men - aswell as having my father abuse me, his brother sexually assaulted me. Not sure how all these events relate to my anxiety but thought best to include then anywhere to give you a better understanding of me. My therapist does plan to send me for a mental health assessment as she believes my past may have created other issues.
I appreciate and am thankfuly for anyone who was able to read this and relate. If you feel you can offer any support, especially with the questions my therapist has asked me to come up with, I will be grateful.
Thanks,
Aarron