Completely new to anxiety...need help

[wpark2419]

Hi, as the title says, I am completely new to anxiety. I'm 30 years old and at the beginning of January I read online about an old neighbors of mine sudden death from heart attack. My first thoughts were how terrible, and how that has always been my biggest fear in the world. Within the hour I had my first anxiety attack and was positive my husband was going to die, my kids and I would lose our house and have nobody, blah blah. It was really bad. I was hyperventilating and had to sit down and nearly passed out. For about 2 weeks after that losing my husband was my every thought all day. I went to a doctor but couldn't see my regular on such short notice. I saw a lady doctor who I could tell thought I was insane. She made me have blood tests to check my thyroid and also an ekg because I told her when I get myself panicky my heart beats fast and feels irregular. Everything came back perfect. She hesitantly wrote me a prescription for Buspar and told me I need to go to a counselor. I could tell she thought I was insane. She kept making faces as I was describing how I felt. I took the Buspar for 2 weeks and during that time didn't notice any difference. Some days were okay, some terrible and filled with fear and sadness. I stopped taking it when I realized it was doing no good. Since then I convinced myself I was going to get cancer and die young, and at least once a day would break down sobbing trying to imagine how I would say goodbye to my 10 and 2 1/2 year old kids and how devastated my husband would be. One day about 2 weeks ago I woke up and was just extremely scared, but of nothing in particular. I just woke up with so much fear and sadness. It has not gone away yet. All day every day I'm just so scared and I don't even know what I'm afraid of. I'm not panicking about cancer anymore, it's just a general fear. With that fear is much sadness and I just don't know what to do. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow but I'm so scared nothing can/will be done and I'll feel like this forever. It's terrifying. I feel like I'm freaking out inside and I get so tired I have to take a nap after a freak out. It completely drains me. I get hungry but it's torture trying to eat, food just tastes terrible. Is there any help for me?

[rhiannon87]

Hello love!
I am a 28 year old female and am also on Buspar. I had been on it previously for about a year, and found it to be wonderful! Medication is not going to solve your anxiety concerns. It is going to help as an aid, and I strongly recommend going back on it, as it takes awhile for our bodies and mind to calm down and reset. There are other helpful things to conquer your anxiety. I have lived with anxiety since I was 7 years old, so I consider myself a veteran :) My recommendations are to learn everything you can about it. I got the book "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund Bourne and it was incredibly useful. You would be surprised how many people experience exactly what you are right now. Another helpful way to calm yourself down is to STOP negative thoughts, and this book helps you learn how to do that. I would recommend also going to counseling. It truly does help, even if its just once a month. Anxiety comes and goes in waves, sometimes it lingers for months at a time. But when you get to know it and how to cope with it, life becomes so much easier. I hope you find comfort and hope in this post.

[wpark2419]

Hi and thanks so much for the response. I feel like I'm going crazy over here. It's a very strange feeling for someone who has never had an anxiety problem, to wake up one day feeling like this. It's nice to know others feel the same, although I'm so sorry you've suffered from it for so long. I was able to see my regular doctor today and he prescribed me Effexor. I haven't heard of it but he said he thinks it will help a lot. I'm very hopeful that it will help because I just can't feel this way anymore. I'm just scared all day. I hate when my husband and daughter go off to work and school each morning. It's torture. I just don't want to be alone at all, although my 2 year old son follows me everywhere. I ordered a book that has great reviews from people with severe anxiety so I'm hoping that will help too. Any suggestions on how to deal with the fear? It's literally just a general fear of life at this point. I can't really pinpoint what's causing the fear but if I try very long I go back into the fear of my husband dying or myself dying loop and that really messes me up bad so I try my best to avoid that line of thinking. Any and all help is greatly appreciated!!