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View Full Version : Im New, but feel like i'm going to die?



bakerjd1993
03-03-2016, 04:27 AM
Hi guys,





So im 22, nearly 23 soon, had anxiety since i was around 13, and the main thing is Palpitations. The feeling i get with them, the underlying feeling that i need to run out into the road, from my house, to make them stop, and obvioulsy the panic. This makes me depressed after they go, and i feel worhtless, like lifes not worht living and stuff. Having constant dreams about being in hospital, transplants, being operated on. Being jumpy, seeing things that aren't there, and feeling like life is more and more life a dream. Having to 'shock' myself and my heart back into my body, and my heart back into normal rhythm. i dont know how to explain it.

I also have this thing of, i need to spit. Alot. Call it what you want, but i haven't got a clue why i do it - i have do spit a number of times until it feels right to stop, i also hate people. Like, i'll get mad at strangers for no reason, or he/she looks a certain way, i dont like you sort of thing. I hate strangers, they get me really mad. I also feel like im gonna die, like, any day. Its awful, as some of you might have that feeling, but every day, i feel like im gonna be one of those people who 'die young'. It terrifies me, and if i could swear in this, i would, but you get the picture. I dont wanna die, and that terrifies me. I've been on meds, (Sertraline) and they made me feel, 'locked'. I just dont know why i feel the way i do,

Can anyone help me? Why do i feel like this? I know this is really vague, but i needed to post this.

Thanks so much everyone

Josh

Alexandra Constantin
03-03-2016, 06:10 AM
Hi Josh ! So sorry to hear you are struggling. Your explanations of your symptoms are not vague at all, or maybe for people who don't understand what anxiety feels like. As you probably know there are many symptoms anxiety related, and what you just explained is almost text book. I do not intend to label what you are going through, it is just very similar to what I've dealt with for so long. However I am better know, the closest to healed as I can ever be. I do not like the term healed/cured because anxiety is not a disease. Anxiety is a result of many factors and you shouldn't feel weak, isolated, coward whatever. You are a lot stronger for living your daily life feeling as you do ! Most people would snap. You are strong ! Palpitations are normal to a certain degree, go see a doctor to put your mind at ease. I have. I thought I was having a heart attack every single day. ( some days I thought I would be getting an aneurysm) Felt butterflies in my chest, pins and needles and even acute pain. Although the sensations were real, there was no medical reason for them. I ve been to many doctors, because anxiety made me hypochondriac. After a full medical check I was cleared for ANY disease and started focusing on my mental health. I still felt like I was dying of some medical problem, or just sudden death every single day. Time passed and I did not die :D so slowly my mind begun to accept that nothing was going to happen, and that I am more powerful than some sensations. I told myself, what if I am going to die today, or tomorrow. Is there anything I can do about it ? No, I ve done everything, I've been to the doctor, there is nothing I can do, si I might as well accept it and go on with my life. And guess what,eventually these thoughts dissipated until they were gone. It has been 4 years since I felt like that, and...still alive :) Now about the spitting, call it a little OCD, or whatever. I felt I had to blink millions of times. I started focusing on the difference of the physical sensation and the obsession. Of course, my eyes didn't dry, I wasn't, loosing my sight, it was my mind, again. I got actively involved, forcing myself not to do it, until I eventually forgot to do it. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE. I promise you ! hope you feel better soon :)

bakerjd1993
03-03-2016, 06:43 AM
Thank you Alexandra, positive vibes from me.

What you said about...you know, medically, there is no reason why you would just suddenly die, but they can't blame us, having this condition, to be careful and cautious about our health 24/7. Its only natural. Im so pleased there is someone out there who knows what im talking about. I have never, ever been able to relax, and have the pateience of an ant, so maybe that has something to do with it. Your eye tic, i mean, i would never EVER go against 'Him', and not do the tic i was meant to do. So you're extremely brave haha. If i don't spit, or tic in a certain way, i feel it unlucky somehow, and i'll be punished in the future for not doing it. I know that sounds NUTS, because im reading it back, and it does, but i truely believe it. Also, just waiting for a refereal from a heart specalist now, just to see what he/she says. My dad suffers from the same thing, the 'inpending final doom' feeling, coming over like a wave, and it just feels like your life is being suffocated. Drink helped for a LONG time, it still does, but i knew i couldn't do it forever. Thank you for your support. :)

mr.navarro1
03-04-2016, 11:56 PM
I think we all know how you feel. Many of us do the same. I'm also a severe hypochondriac and I have to take myself frequently to the hospital. I'm frequently checking my pulse and believe having I'm serious emergency. I now can't do any physical exertion because it will raise my heart rate and I will start to panic. It's a unhealthy cycle that I'm still trying to break.

Falcodj
03-07-2016, 03:00 PM
Try some non medication remedies. Classical music or some enya music does wonders. Similarly wAlking, or any other form of exercise is also good. The body releases endorphins and you feel much better and uplifted.

Look forward :)

sae
03-07-2016, 07:44 PM
In child development there is a technique that deals with redirecting an otherwise overwhelmed or distracted child. I have been able to apply these very rudimentary techniques to my own self and I have had some success with it.
On occasion I feel overwhelmed by the sensation that I am dying. I can't breathe, my chest hurts, even my body reacts with trembling and stomach malaise. I first take a shower, almost too cold to stand, and take an inventory of different tasks I need to complete. The shower changes the physical sensations of the attack and the planning channels my racing mind toward a more productive train of thought.

My next step is to put on something nice like I am expecting to go out to dinner. I feel a little more grounded to my surroundings, a little more in control. I sit on my back patio with my tablet and tap out an itenerary for just my next hour. Maybe it is just something as simple as mopping the floor or taking the dogs for a walk. When my alarm goes off I sit, no matter what I am in the middle of, and reassess myself and my surroundings. If I still feel uneasy I go back outside and plan a new hourly itenerary.
Typically I don't have to do this more than twice before my day is back on track. Usually by the time life happens again (dinner time, kid home from school, weird neighbor lady is begging me to watch her disabled son while she walks to the store etc) I have stopped paying such close attention to my panicked state.
I know this can't work for everyone, but it actually seems to be doing both my anxiety and obsessive fugue some good.

NoMoreAnxiety1030
03-09-2016, 01:55 PM
Hi guys,





So im 22, nearly 23 soon, had anxiety since i was around 13, and the main thing is Palpitations. The feeling i get with them, the underlying feeling that i need to run out into the road, from my house, to make them stop, and obvioulsy the panic. This makes me depressed after they go, and i feel worhtless, like lifes not worht living and stuff. Having constant dreams about being in hospital, transplants, being operated on. Being jumpy, seeing things that aren't there, and feeling like life is more and more life a dream. Having to 'shock' myself and my heart back into my body, and my heart back into normal rhythm. i dont know how to explain it.

I also have this thing of, i need to spit. Alot. Call it what you want, but i haven't got a clue why i do it - i have do spit a number of times until it feels right to stop, i also hate people. Like, i'll get mad at strangers for no reason, or he/she looks a certain way, i dont like you sort of thing. I hate strangers, they get me really mad. I also feel like im gonna die, like, any day. Its awful, as some of you might have that feeling, but every day, i feel like im gonna be one of those people who 'die young'. It terrifies me, and if i could swear in this, i would, but you get the picture. I dont wanna die, and that terrifies me. I've been on meds, (Sertraline) and they made me feel, 'locked'. I just dont know why i feel the way i do,

Can anyone help me? Why do i feel like this? I know this is really vague, but i needed to post this.

Thanks so much everyone

Josh

I can totally relate to what you are going through. I'm 27 and new to anxiety (since August 8, 2015) I think I have had every symptom of anxiety. Palpitations/flutters, sudden warm/hot flushes, shortness of breath, fatigue, insomnia, everyday chest pain, feeling off balanced, dizziness everyday, nausea, waking up seeing things crawl on the wall or that are not there and etc. Everyday I feel as if today is my last day here on earth. There was a time that I was going to my doctor or the E.R. every other night. I have had 32 ekgs, 4 CTs of chest and brain, a treadmill stress test, an echo, and countless number of full blood work. 3 different doctors and neither of them could find anything. Although it took some time I have finally accepted this as anxiety. Since accepting things are getting much better and symptoms are starting to slowly disappear. I still have the dizzy sensation mostly everyday though and I still feel as I'm going to die on a daily basis, but I notice that if I keep myself occupied I don't have any symptoms nor do I have the thought of dying. Even something as simple as going out in the yard playing with my 4 year old daughter helps to get rid of those types of thoughts at least for a little while. Hang in there. It gets better.