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View Full Version : Worst anxiety I've ever had..



canteat
03-02-2016, 05:36 PM
I was diagnosed with general anxiety and manic depression 5-6 years ago.
Originated from issues with my father, who I haven't spoken to or seen for 3 years.
In that 3 years, I rarely had any attacks, or bouts of sadness. The only time I can remember it happening is when I got my first full time job, and they worked me 9 days straight from my first day, and said they "overlooked" me.
I have left that job now, and since got another full time job, where I was sexually assaulted, and was then fired (don't really feel like getting into it now - long and difficult story to explain).

I haven't been able to apply for any jobs since (except for about 5, which I have received calls for an interview), because every time I went to, my anxiety would set in as I couldn't believe that I had to job search for a third time in the space of a year.

Now, my boyfriend of three years, split up with me. We lived together, and I had to move back to my mothers.
She spends every second week with her boyfriend, when my brothers spend that week with my father.
We moved all my stuff back, and it was a very emotional time for my boyfriend and I, and he ended up opening up and saying that he thinks breaking up was a bad idea, and he wants to take a week or two for himself.

He said he has a lot of problems, but he's never talked about them to anyone before.
I wasn't exactly oblivious to this throughout the three years, there has been plenty of times where we've talked about anxiety and depression together, but I didn't know he was bottling things up.

Currently,, I'm having the worst anxiety I have EVER had.
Normally, it's just hyperventilating and crying, but now, I can't even eat without feeling like I'm going to throw up (I have a few times, but nothing much ever comes up).
I can stomach water, and I've been able to eat some fruit, but I couldn't even look at my dinner last night without feeling sick.
I'm also incredibly exhausted, although I don't know if that's because I'm not eating (it's been three days now) or just a combination of anything.

I don't really have anyone to talk to, because it's a week my family is out of the house.
Is there anything I can do? I know I am hungry, and I want to eat but I just can't.
Does anyone have any tips on how to distract myself for the next two weeks?

Thank you for taking the time to read this, it means a lot.

Anne1221
03-02-2016, 06:42 PM
Please try to drink some Ensure or a milkshake or something. Take one bite at a time. You will feel better. You really need to eat and try to calm down.

brfoo
03-02-2016, 07:08 PM
I can just only repeat what Anne said, eat somethin light. It seems to me you are a strong person to go through all this, why weaken yourself? Tell to yourself: "I know things have been hard, but I need to live through this. To survive i need to eat, so please little tummy of mine accept this nourishing food so we can move forward. Please let me be strong. I need to eat to be able to carry on. I eat healthy, light, nourishing food, bacause i deserve it. I need it to gain strenght."

The Intolerable Kid
03-03-2016, 07:21 AM
I cut my father out of my life for 13 years and I don't regret it at all. Life is hard enough without having someone around that despises you can runs you down at every opportunity. I thought things would be better when I left at 18 and his physical attacks on me stopped but it wasn't really better until I cut him off for good. It had extremely positive effects on my severe anxiety, dealing with his unvarnished hate always created a geyser of stomach acid that was never ending agony. I could eat, but keeping it down was a challenge. All the advice above is useful in my opinion.
Sorry for your troubles, I hope things improve for you.