Other shoe
02-28-2016, 02:00 PM
I moved my mother into my home two and a half years ago. She is totally consumed by worry. Her mother was the same. I can see where my anxiety comes from. I do not blame her, anxiety is dreadful and not easily treated. I do see what will happen if I stop fighting the disease itself. My mother is scared if there is a cloud in the sky. It might drizzle and she fears falling more than anything. If the wind blows she fears a tree will fall or the house will collapse. Her terror is magnified tenfold of mine, but I do not want to end up in the same place as her. I am scared often but I try to rationalize these feelings with doses of reality. I cannot control what happens in the big world but I can contain what happens in mine. I have to live and thrive regardless of the meteor about to land on my world. Fear of everything is time and energy consuming and I can't shield myself without digging a bunker and hiding in there to die. That is no way to live, you are not living at all. It might be too late for my mother, her dementia has kicked in and acts as a selfdefense mechanism. I never wish this to happen to me or anyone. We all want to live, breathe, and enjoy life as much as we can. It takes work and patience, talking with others, and stepping out of the bunker and letting the sun bathe our faces.