PLEASE comment -Nervous Breakdown?

[Christheanxiousone]

Is this normal? Can anyone at all relate and if so please comment...
I had a panic attack a month or so ago, since then it led to extreme worry about everything, mostly my future and every minor detail about it. Because I feel so ill (probably nervous breakdown) I never use to worry about my future to this extreme no matter how uncertain it felt, I worried, but in a healthy dose. I see my future as hopeless, and because I see it as hopeless, I worry about it, thus the cycle continues. Of course I get dizzy, detached, the doom & gloom feeling, inner-panic, sleep disturbances, short term memory, etc, etc. Almost constant anxiety during these cycles, not a moment of peace from the worry and anxiety it creates. I feel like I might go insane sometimes, I worry about that which I know is common with anxiety. I've had episodes like this before, one in particular that had the same signs and triggers, and it passed without me solving/planning anything. When this passes I plan on making a lot of lifestyle changes, but I just want to know if anyone can relate? Scared that this will last forever and my fears will seem as dark forever, even though I've been through this once before. I have thoughts like, you'll never get better and because of that, your future really is hopeless, or I have thoughts I can't control about being in positions in the future where this will return and I won't be able to cope, etc, etc, etc. Please comment if you can relate! (no insurance)

[Fahrenheit]

Hey, there. First off, I can totally relate to what you are going through, and I think most people who have struggled with anxiety can. I had a period like you are describing that lasted over a year and ended two-ish years ago. Like you, I couldn't afford therapy, although I did make some initial moves to look at sliding scale stuff, played phone tag with them for a bit, and then didn't follow through. So like you, I somehow managed to get through it. But it was miserable while it lasted, and I was convinced I would be incapable of making future for myself.

Then slowly I got better, I deepened my relationships with the people in my life (having moved to a new city where I had no connections certainly immediately preceding the anxiety certainly did not help), and for the most part I have been good for about 2 years. But there have been maybe 3 times since then, where something would bring the anxiety back to a level that felt frighteningly close to that horrible, horrible year, and then I did what you are doing now and started worrying about worrying. I think that is the thing with anxiety - it is so east to remember how bad it was the last time it got bad, and that just fuels the anxiety. And once it is turned on, it is difficult to turn off. For that bad year, I always felt like, if I could just be given one week that I feel normal 'for free' I would be able to use that week to actually recover - I would be able so sleep, and think clearly, and do what I needed to get better, but when it is relentless it feels like it takes all your energy just existing, and there isn't anything left for recovery.

I also find that if I get anxious enough about one thing, and then that anxiety kicks in, I just feel anxious all the time, and that translates to the anxiety feeling attaching to everything else as well. Any thought that I have about anything is accompanied with anxiety, so after a while it feels like I am reaction anxiously to literally everything, but it is just because the feeling is so persistent.

Luckily, those few times I was afraid I would relapse blew over.

I am actually in one of those anxious patches now, and hoping it will pass. I'd like to come back and give you some insight into what I did to help deal with anxiety in the past, but I have to run. I just wanted to let you know and yes, I can relate, and no, you are not alone.

I hope you find some rest, and that this period of intense anxiety does not last for to long. Sending you healing thoughts. :)

[Christheanxiousone]

Hey, there. First off, I can totally relate to what you are going through, and I think most people who have struggled with anxiety can. I had a period like you are describing that lasted over a year and ended two-ish years ago. Like you, I couldn't afford therapy, although I did make some initial moves to look at sliding scale stuff, played phone tag with them for a bit, and then didn't follow through. So like you, I somehow managed to get through it. But it was miserable while it lasted, and I was convinced I would be incapable of making future for myself.

Then slowly I got better, I deepened my relationships with the people in my life (having moved to a new city where I had no connections certainly immediately preceding the anxiety certainly did not help), and for the most part I have been good for about 2 years. But there have been maybe 3 times since then, where something would bring the anxiety back to a level that felt frighteningly close to that horrible, horrible year, and then I did what you are doing now and started worrying about worrying. I think that is the thing with anxiety - it is so east to remember how bad it was the last time it got bad, and that just fuels the anxiety. And once it is turned on, it is difficult to turn off. For that bad year, I always felt like, if I could just be given one week that I feel normal 'for free' I would be able to use that week to actually recover - I would be able so sleep, and think clearly, and do what I needed to get better, but when it is relentless it feels like it takes all your energy just existing, and there isn't anything left for recovery.

I also find that if I get anxious enough about one thing, and then that anxiety kicks in, I just feel anxious all the time, and that translates to the anxiety feeling attaching to everything else as well. Any thought that I have about anything is accompanied with anxiety, so after a while it feels like I am reaction anxiously to literally everything, but it is just because the feeling is so persistent.

Luckily, those few times I was afraid I would relapse blew over.

I am actually in one of those anxious patches now, and hoping it will pass. I'd like to come back and give you some insight into what I did to help deal with anxiety in the past, but I have to run. I just wanted to let you know and yes, I can relate, and no, you are not alone.

I hope you find some rest, and that this period of intense anxiety does not last for to long. Sending you healing thoughts. :)


Hi there, so these cycles did pass for you?! Mine usually last only 2 or so months (thank god) but they kinda just faded away for you, even with no real solution, what I mean by that is, well like I said, despite they kinda just went away? The worries and all that other fun stuff bringing on the anxiety? Kinda like back to the day by day type deal.

[Alexandra Constantin]

Hello ! everyone with anxiety can relate to what you are describing. I've felt like this constantly for two years. And I am not just saying it. I felt exactly as yourself, with even more awful anxiety related symptoms. I felt as if I was going to die every single day. I became hypochondriac, felt as if I was a burden to everyone, and I thought all the time that I was an upbeat happy go lucky girl. People called me the go-to person for advice, fun. I was a popular queen :) And in that dark time I isolated myself. Stayed at home most of the time. I was afraid anything would trigger a panic attack. And they were horrific. I was literally screaming, my heart raced. I froze. After such an episode I was totally depressed. An image kept coming to mind. Myself, the ex-popular, high-spirited girl I was, lying in a mental facility, like those ones you see in movies. I was thinking I was going to have less and less visitors until I would be totally forgotten. In these two years I was always looking for easy solutions, pills or whatever. I could not afford therapy, nor did I really think it would help.

I just want to tell you, and everyone who can relate to what you are going through (and there are so many people that do). It CAN go away. It has been 4 years now since I last felt this way, since my last panic attack. Of course when I am depressed (not clinically :) anxiety finds its way and resurfaces, but it never has the strength to take over me as it did, because I know I defeated it once, it can never take over. So I am not taking it seriously, as I was. And you cannot be afraid of something you do not take seriously. I swear, absolutely no panic attacks for four years, and I had them almost every day (especially when I went to bed and my mind wondered to these dark corners)

My solution does not seem to be very popular, but from my experience it was extremely helpful, it got the old me back, but a little wiser and willing to help others that are going through the same stuff. First of all, do not compare yourself to other (apparently anxiety free people) There is no human on this earth that is unable to have anxiety, the right trigger just didn't happen to enter their lives, luckily. Anxiety is not a disease, it is a condition ALL of us can experience. You are not weak. You go through your daily life feeling as you do, and you are not giving up, even if the small things are so difficult, you are doing them ! Know for the big guns. You said you never actually addressed the real problem, somehow events in your life took over and you were more preocupied with different stuff that your mind did not have time to focus on anxiety. It did not go away, it did not have room to do whatever it wanted. I addressed the most important factor, the fear, the impending doom feeling, the monster that panic is. I made a goal out of defeating a panic attack while it happened. I was almost waiting for them to happen so I could destroy it. When a panic attack happened, i got very scared of course but I was focusing on each sensation in my body. I imagined the panic going through me with every palpitation, warm spells. I was focusing on every thing that scared me (I am going to die now) and finally accepted it. Ok, now let's die. And guess what. I didn't. First times I couldn't go through with it, accept the fear and let it flow loosely in my body. One time I did it. I really accepted the fear, the fact I was going to die. Come on motherf***er show me what you've got. And the panic attack stopped suddenly. That was in November 2012. last panic attack ever :) After I defeated the attacks I found that I was strong enough to do it, I might as well relax as to my future. If I could do that, I can do anything :) Hope this helps a little, sorry for my english, not my native language and for the rambling on. If you need anything, send me a word. I'll try to answer from my experience as often as I can. Good luck !

[Christheanxiousone]

Hello ! everyone with anxiety can relate to what you are describing. I've felt like this constantly for two years. And I am not just saying it. I felt exactly as yourself, with even more awful anxiety related symptoms. I felt as if I was going to die every single day. I became hypochondriac, felt as if I was a burden to everyone, and I thought all the time that I was an upbeat happy go lucky girl. People called me the go-to person for advice, fun. I was a popular queen :) And in that dark time I isolated myself. Stayed at home most of the time. I was afraid anything would trigger a panic attack. And they were horrific. I was literally screaming, my heart raced. I froze. After such an episode I was totally depressed. An image kept coming to mind. Myself, the ex-popular, high-spirited girl I was, lying in a mental facility, like those ones you see in movies. I was thinking I was going to have less and less visitors until I would be totally forgotten. In these two years I was always looking for easy solutions, pills or whatever. I could not afford therapy, nor did I really think it would help.

I just want to tell you, and everyone who can relate to what you are going through (and there are so many people that do). It CAN go away. It has been 4 years now since I last felt this way, since my last panic attack. Of course when I am depressed (not clinically :) anxiety finds its way and resurfaces, but it never has the strength to take over me as it did, because I know I defeated it once, it can never take over. So I am not taking it seriously, as I was. And you cannot be afraid of something you do not take seriously. I swear, absolutely no panic attacks for four years, and I had them almost every day (especially when I went to bed and my mind wondered to these dark corners)

My solution does not seem to be very popular, but from my experience it was extremely helpful, it got the old me back, but a little wiser and willing to help others that are going through the same stuff. First of all, do not compare yourself to other (apparently anxiety free people) There is no human on this earth that is unable to have anxiety, the right trigger just didn't happen to enter their lives, luckily. Anxiety is not a disease, it is a condition ALL of us can experience. You are not weak. You go through your daily life feeling as you do, and you are not giving up, even if the small things are so difficult, you are doing them ! Know for the big guns. You said you never actually addressed the real problem, somehow events in your life took over and you were more preocupied with different stuff that your mind did not have time to focus on anxiety. It did not go away, it did not have room to do whatever it wanted. I addressed the most important factor, the fear, the impending doom feeling, the monster that panic is. I made a goal out of defeating a panic attack while it happened. I was almost waiting for them to happen so I could destroy it. When a panic attack happened, i got very scared of course but I was focusing on each sensation in my body. I imagined the panic going through me with every palpitation, warm spells. I was focusing on every thing that scared me (I am going to die now) and finally accepted it. Ok, now let's die. And guess what. I didn't. First times I couldn't go through with it, accept the fear and let it flow loosely in my body. One time I did it. I really accepted the fear, the fact I was going to die. Come on motherf***er show me what you've got. And the panic attack stopped suddenly. That was in November 2012. last panic attack ever :) After I defeated the attacks I found that I was strong enough to do it, I might as well relax as to my future. If I could do that, I can do anything :) Hope this helps a little, sorry for my english, not my native language and for the rambling on. If you need anything, send me a word. I'll try to answer from my experience as often as I can. Good luck !


And what did you do for all the constant anxiety that wasn't a panic attack but yet brought on by thoughts/fears/worries of everything?

[jessed03]

And what did you do for all the constant anxiety that wasn't a panic attack but yet brought on by thoughts/fears/worries of everything?

You've got to stop making it worse by responding to it and feeding it.

Then, after after a while, once you've calmed a tad and you have a little room to breathe, work on your biggest fears and your faulty beliefs and plant new, healthy seeds in your subconscious mind.

There's no other way to get back to a place of so-called sanity, other than drugs, but they're short-term. Believe me, I've been where you are, and it came close to finishing me.

[Christheanxiousone]

You've got to stop making it worse by responding to it and feeding it.

Then, after after a while, once you've calmed a tad and you have a little room to breathe, work on your biggest fears and your faulty beliefs and plant new, healthy seeds in your subconscious mind.

There's no other way to get back to a place of so-called sanity, other than drugs, but they're short-term. Believe me, I've been where you are, and it came close to finishing me.


So basically, face the panic-attacks head on, don't run from them, and when the thoughts/worries come, realize they are irrational, continue on with my day regardless of how I feel, and just try to return to the normal me instead of feeding them? You tell me what to do, I'll follow it.....

[Ponder]

......You've got to stop making it worse by responding to it and feeding it.
http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/yellow-hd/banging-head-on-the-wall-smiley-emoticon.gif

Sadly, there seems to be a negative pattern within this forum of late; that when resolutions are given, the focus comes right back to questions that focus on the cause. The only aid that cuts to the chase, is the one that allows us to move on. Examples of "feeding/clinging" include, talking forever on which medications to take, holding onto stories, (including the good old days as well as the bad) telling others should, could and what methods one or others need to take and or endlessly researching instead of being/doing, self critical thinking that focuses on the past with all kinds of prophesying that's as self defeating as examples given ... and of course lets not forget White Knight Syndrome who's only ever posts is "coming to the rescue" http://i181.photobucket.com/albums/x30/davekyn/icon_trumpet_zpsttlzplba.gif


But specifically here ... it's as Jesse has quoted above, by way of "constantly posting questions" designed to feed the fear.http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/yellow-hd/banging-head-on-the-wall-smiley-emoticon.gif

It's a control thing, that's out of control. Time to learn another strategy.

[Dahila]

Hey I feel the same, this forum is a circus, run by the youngsters who have no idea about life, however they know how to use internet search on their mobile. I feel sick ............

[jessed03]

So basically, face the panic-attacks head on, don't run from them, and when the thoughts/worries come, realize they are irrational, continue on with my day regardless of how I feel, and just try to return to the normal me instead of feeding them? You tell me what to do, I'll follow it.....

Sorry, I don't get to post much these days. And even when I do find time, I'm pretty beat.

Ultimately the goal is to stop reacting to the fearful thoughts and adrenaline rushes. Because every time you do, you add more layers to the fear story and create more adrenaline rushes. The result is FUCKING exhausting lol. And it'll keep playing round and round indefinitely.

When you don't react to the fear - which is hard, man, I'm not saying it's not - the emotional response, the adrenaline rush, is able to arise, metabolize, then pass in a fraction of the time it would have done if you'd have involved yourself in the mental story that runs through your head at that point.

In my opinion, the best way to stop reacting to such a destructive level is to understand anxiety. Understand it's a circuit. Once you start kicking out the legs of the circuit, you begin to feel better. Everything becomes less overwhelming.

That's why I sent you that Claire Weekes book, so hopefully you can begin to understand a little more about how primitive the human brain can be, but how you can rise above it, tap into awareness, and begin to see things differently with practice.

I think when you understand anxiety for what it is, the not reacting sort of just happens naturally.

My biggest mistake when I had my breakdown was feeding the fear, adding to and believing the tragic story in my head.