strategies to give the benefit of the doubt

[aaartnaz]

hello,

this is my second post. i just needed to know how some of you guys would handle something when you start to think of taking it personal. for instance, i was thinking that a guy was looking at me because he wanted me to react. but instead of just erupting and getting in a fight with this guy maybe he's not necessarily out to look for a fight. i don't want to just let people look at me dirty if they really are too. i need some strategies to calm myself down when i start to think i'm being picked on or ganged up on. maybe a list of sayings to repeat to myself or breathing, what else? thanks

[Carla]

Hi!
I am a female so I dont really have experience of this situation and have never been in a confrontational situation in my life nor a fight. Thankfully! I prefer a stress free lifestyle and I know I couldnt cope with any added stress caused by confrontation/fights whilst I have anxiety. I do know that a male friend of mine would react to people staring at him, was easily provoked, and would get into fights rather than walking away. This has led to him being at court twice in the past year. If it happens again then he will get sent to prison he has been told. He is now on an anger management course which has taught him some really good techniques to be able to use when he gets involved in a situation which could potentially end up in a fight and also just for helping him generally deal with his anger in any situation. It has really helped him. I have noticed a big change in him. There are a lot of sites on the net which give good advice about anger management. Maybe you could think about seeing if there are any such courses that you could attend?