relationship spending and hobbies?

[Eska101]

Hi all,

I have a question about finances and spending, do you tell your partner/husband/wife about all your spendings?? i have sometimes kept like 20 bucks here or their to buy takeaway for myself without mentioning it and i have just came over with strong anxiety like im wrong i should be telling her about everything i spend shoudl i?? or is small amount ok?? so im wondering how everyone else handles finances in their relationships?? and also if your partner has a hobby they spend on, how do u manage that?? i do music and sometimes need to pay for equipment or fees on my albums/ tracks. has anyone else have a hobby or money they spend on how do u deal with that with your partner/husband/wife?

any advice is welcomes thanks

[brfoo]

I think it depends... If it is really just a few bucks, I would say you don't have to tell everything, however if you hobby is expensive compared to your budget then you need to talk it through, because it can affect your savings or loan repayment (if we are talking about a serious relationship). Telling them is not equal to asking for permission, but giving a chance for your partner to see through and plan your budget together. Even if you keep separate accounts but have common goals, you need to agree in the amount you two put together equally so such a situation won't occur when one is working and saving a lot and the other does not put that much effort in it. My boyfriend plays the guitar, if he needs to buy new strings its okay he doesn not have to ask permission/tell me. But if he would like to buy a new guitar that is something that I would be happy to discuss first and plan how to buy it and when, even if he buys it from his own money, because I wan't him to be financially secure :)

[The Intolerable Kid]

No. An example would be the Xmas holidays - I take my bonus check out in cash. That way she can't look online and see what I am getting her. We both work so we buy what we need when we need it.

[Eska101]

I think it depends... If it is really just a few bucks, I would say you don't have to tell everything, however if you hobby is expensive compared to your budget then you need to talk it through, because it can affect your savings or loan repayment (if we are talking about a serious relationship). Telling them is not equal to asking for permission, but giving a chance for your partner to see through and plan your budget together. Even if you keep separate accounts but have common goals, you need to agree in the amount you two put together equally so such a situation won't occur when one is working and saving a lot and the other does not put that much effort in it. My boyfriend plays the guitar, if he needs to buy new strings its okay he doesn not have to ask permission/tell me. But if he would like to buy a new guitar that is something that I would be happy to discuss first and plan how to buy it and when, even if he buys it from his own money, because I wan't him to be financially secure :)

yeah i see what u mean so small things are not bad at all? its not like its 100s of dollars worth of things lol.

[Eska101]

No. An example would be the Xmas holidays - I take my bonus check out in cash. That way she can't look online and see what I am getting her. We both work so we buy what we need when we need it.

yeah i often thought that, and birthdays etc. but i guess for ourselves just small things wouldnt hurt. i dunno why i feel so bad, i guess its just my GAD flaring up. but ever since i looked more into it its like i gotta tell her everything lol kinda like the reassurance seeking i sapose to say its ok to spend that or your fine i think maybe i just need to accept some things.

[brfoo]

Yeah, i think if the little things don't add up to a large sum its ok:) especially if you two are otherwise financially stable :) She/He is a partner not your mother/father.