JenXO
01-26-2016, 10:46 AM
So I had anxiety since I was 3-10 years old due to emotional abuse I was terrified to make a mistake that is what brought on my OCD. It did not end there I was abused for over 10 years by another family member. I always blamed myself for things that went wrong and of course got blamed. I have been emotionally abused by family members all of my life as well as dealt with bullying I don't care about being bullied that because I found my voice and stand up to them because I know they're cowards. What I am asking is how do I unlearn the bad things that have been engraved in my head? I internalized it and went very quiet for years and I start telling myself these things. But my inner voice is so self defeating it is keeping me stuck and very fearful. No one will ever know how much I truly hate myself. When I had my psychotic break I heard my inner voice beating up on me it was scary. Thankfully I never heard it again after getting on a mild mood stabilizer and getting CBT. I had my psychotic break 2 years ago but the damage is already the emotional scars and damage to my hippocampus done is still there. The tiny bit of self esteem I had is gone and I had no way to escape because I have no family support other than my mom.
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