For those who have done therapy, please tell me how it worked out for you

[Joe Pu]

I think I should look into getting professional help but I have no idea how to get started. It would really help to hear about everyone's experience with therapy.

How did you find a therapist that was right for you? Did you have to switch around a lot before you settled with someone? What do you tell them if you want to stop?

Medication - would a therapist insist that you take medication? I'd rather do without as much as possible.

[Anne1221]

You can start out by asking around to friends or get your doctor to recommend someone. You can always start out with a primary care physician and they should be very helpful. I got a recommendation from someone known to my family. Yes, sometimes you do have to switch around before you find just the right one. I have found it extremely helpful!!! If you want to stop, that's fine, you can tell them or just quit making appointments. They can't force you to keep seeing them. Medication issue depends on the doctor. Express your concerns. I have found medication to be very helpful but for others not, so it's an individual issue.

[Sam K]

I was lucky enough to have a family friend's dad that was a psychologist. I went through two therapists that either made me uncomfortable/worried or just really didn't like talking with them. Therapists/Psychologists are much like a glove or best friend. Not all fit but once you find the right one it like going to see a friend to talk to instead of just paying someone to listen to you.

They can't make you come see them, you could simply not show up if you don't like/want to go back. (guilty) as bad as it feels you got to do whats best for you but calling them and letting them know would probably be the best option as it would lead to less stress on either side.

Medication is always a tough subject, I didn't want to be on any meds because i had a realllyyyy bad experience with Effxor (probably not correct spelling) so I told my psychologist Id rather not be on meds. we worked on coping methods for 2 sessions and talked about my anxiety stuff like that. We eventually came to a point where he felt strongly with the fact that I should be on meds. I was reluctant at first for sure, but I compromised on a low dose of Duloxitine and truthfully has really helped me out. I went for 17 years of my life without any therapy or meds with the exception of the month on effoxor and this has made my life so much easier. I have the hardest time getting any anxiety tbh.

But that doesn't mean meds are for you, I used to carry around a mouth spray called rescue remedy that helped tremendously. In fact, it helped my ex get through her very first anxiety attack and I got some for her to keep after she got into a wreck and had anxiety for 2 weeks over that. Ill link it for you to research and possibly try, but it really helped me and her out so very much. But when you get a therapist, they can help you learn some techniques to cope with anxiety before talking about meds. directlyfromnature.com/Rescue_Remedy_Spray_p/rr-010.htm

Anxiety isn't fun to go through, if you have any questions you could ask here or message me if that's a thing on this site. (I'm new)
Good luck.

[The Intolerable Kid]

In my experience, a waste of time. Especially when you're a little kid. They had me in there when I was five. I've never met one that wasn't a condescending jerk or trying to use the position to be a sexual predator (most often both). At the core of the profession is the arrogant conceit that they know what you're thinking, which is ridiculous (no one can truly crawl into the skin of another). Their only practical use is if they throw some good drugs your way. They're a notch below dentists in my opinion, because while dentists are evil pain freaks at least they can conduct a needed medical repair and throw some good drugs at you.
Even in college the people most full of shyte were the psych majors. Snake oil salesmen in training. It's a good scam, though, comfortable (no physical labor) and no one can ever tell them they're wrong about anything. Better than being a weatherman. They nod and listen while parasitically draining your cash away.
The companionship I get from my dog is worth a billion so-called therapists.

[salvator here]

Unfortunately, I'm feeling much like the above poster, it really has not helped me other than prescribing medication (which I'm currently off anyway to give my body a drug break). The neuropsych was helpful when I was trying to work through my bipolar depression and figuring out what meds were the most effective for my specific type. Other than that, just seeing a therapist every week only 'shrinks' your wallet IMHO. I guess if it works for you, stick with it if you can afford to pay for someone to pretend they care about your personally. I'm a fan of self help and mindfulness. Most of this is free on youtube if you search for it.

[Randomize]

My health insurance has a database of therapists and I googled each one of them to check out their specialties and ratings. If you have in-network coverage, I recommend at least trying to see a therapist. My challenge was finding a therapist who was available after work (I was able to find one willing to see me at 5pm every session). He/She will give you the tools to manage/overcome your anxiety/thoughts, but you have to be dedicated and have a positive mindset. I'm using workbooks, audiobooks, mindfulness, etc. and my therapist is more of a supplement to my recovery. If it's too costly, I can share what I'm reading/listening to (you can find them at Barnes and Nobles).

[Snakeadelic]

Quote: Medication - would a therapist insist that you take medication? I'd rather do without as much as possible.

NO reputable psychiatric care professional of any licensing level should be hard-pushing meds! If you do not want medication and are not a danger to yourself or others, DO NOT allow them to force it on you. I got lucky; the pro I see for my single psychiatric medication isn't afraid of big bad old benzodiazepines (Valium, Klonopin, Xanax, Ativan, lorazepam, diazepam, clonazepam, etc) or medicinal marijuana the way so many have become.

Finding someone you trust is a toss of the dice. Depending on your insurance, location, etc you may only be allowed a few tries or you may be allowed to sit down with as many as you like to find the best fit. You will KNOW when you find someone you can mesh with as provider and patient. My mother is convinced my psych care team is inadequate because none of them have PhDs--there are exactly 2 PhD-holding psychiatrists in my county. One's number is disconnected and the other's not considering new patients at all. We have a population of about 40,000 in the county I live in, which is twice the size of Rhode Island, so services can be scarce.

I could go to the "city" 50 miles away (I don't drive, for the record, and the so-called bus service here is awful) where there are about 3 PhDs my insurance will pay. One of them overmedicated the love of my life so badly that almost half a decade later he's still dealing with side effects, and the only med she would NOT give him was the benzo-tranquilizer that actually helped because "OMG he might get addicted!". (so much sarcasm here) Yeah, I'm totally gonna go see HER; she'd try to run me roughshod, take away the med that works, and force my MD to re-organize my non-psychiatric meds so I could take what SHE wanted. (end sarcasm)

Another potential option is support groups. Nearly every medical and mental health clinic has fliers all over the walls for support groups dealing with depression, anxiety, grief, specific mental health challenges, and the combination of mental health challenges with physical health AND with addiction. Those you should be able to attend free of cost until you either get tired of trying or do find a group with whom you 'click'. Some community colleges have been known to offer courses in stress reduction and management, and you're not required to be going for a degree so far as I'm aware.

Quoting Sam K: I didn't want to be on any meds because i had a realllyyyy bad experience with Effxor (probably not correct spelling) so I told my psychologist Id rather not be on meds.

VERY SMART. Effexor nearly killed 3 people I love, all of whom will have side effects the rest of their lives. It's an all-or-nothing drug; either it's the magic bullet that solves all the problems or it's a walking nightmare of potentially lethal side effects and reactions. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground, and this is a huge part of why I advocate for people to be allowed to choose about medication unless the law requires otherwise (usually applied only when someone is an obvious threat to themselves or others).

[Joe Pu]

Thanks for the responses.

I'm looking through lists of doctors and I get MSW, MA, MD, PHD.

Looking those terms up

MA, Phd = psychologist
MD = psychiatrist
MSW = social worker

What kind should I be looking for?

[salvator here]

Hi Joe,

Depends on your financial situation, a social worker is a good place to start if you have limited insurance and if this is your first time seeking therapy. I see you are looking through your insurance for providers, so you could try a psychologist, as they tend to be better to talk to; which is good for a first visit. Depending on how you are doing with this person, they may refer you to a psychiatrist if you need to be prescribed meds (they tend to be more clinical - less time talking), but many times, your GP can handle the meds (this was the case with me anyway), plus it will cost you more to see both. If you can find a therapist/APRN [Advanced Practitioner Registered Nurse], you may possibly be able to get your meds and therapy all with 1 person. I personally recommend an APRN, I've found them to be excellent.

Keep us posted!

Side note: sorry I was so negative with my original reply.

[Ponder]

"If you do not want meds", DO NOT see a psychiatrist. They tend to ask leading questions, tick and flick boxes, and in general - let the text books define what it best rather than consider or really listen to the patient. Excellent for patients looking for band aid meds! They are really good at that.

Coming from a history of psychotic episode and being on meds, I have always found the psychologists way more effective, however that's usually dependant on a clients willingness and desire to stabilize. Those that rely on meds tend to like the psych visits - they go well together. Get ready for a dependency if you go the way of meds. Not easy to come off. It's also now an economy and facilitates a great need.

It's good to keep things real. Unless your in an emergency situation with uncontrollable emotions where you are a risk to yourself and others, stick with Psychotherapy. That's being positive.

Good Luck with whatever floats your boat.

[Joe Pu]

I made an appointment with a pyschologist for next Thursday. Now I'm worrying about if I chose the right person and if it will work out. How many sessions does it usually take before you know whether your therapist is a good fit?

[salvator here]

I made an appointment with a pyschologist for next Thursday. Now I'm worrying about if I chose the right person and if it will work out. How many sessions does it usually take before you know whether your therapist is a good fit?That's good news! Lets now worry right now about that, just show up and be optimistic. Try not to think that way; and I say this because, if you find the "right person" on the first try you'd be super lucky. It can sometimes take going through a few therapists before you find a good fit. Good luck on your first visit :)

[Ponder]

Yea it takes a few goes. Just be aware of your own prejudice/bias/triggers and so forth before placing to much judgement on the therapist. I went through a few therapists early on in therapy simply because I was going through a purging process - sometimes it was because of the therapists, yet many times it was just me.

It's a learning process. Nothing beats knowing why you want to go, going on your own accord and what to be well. That is the most important thing to focus on and therapists enjoy clients who want to get well. :)

Just avoid the ones that are entrenched in "Their Own Methodology" It happens ... but nothing you will pick up on early.

Just know - it's always worth going back, even if it's to find another therapists.

It takes time to be a rapport (a respectful relationship build on trust) - that is a must.

If you can't establish a rapport - it's time to asses the situation, but onceagain this could be more about one's own sensitivities getting in the way as you begin to detox those deep seeded feelings ... Just think of it like exercise ... take it slow and think about the benefits to your well being through embarking on such challenges and you'll do just fine.

Keep your intent focused on the good. Remind yourself it's all about getting better and be proud of the fact that your taking control by seeking such help to begin with. The most successful sessions I have, are those that I take control of. Think like that, and you will be surprised as just how much control a therapist will afford you. That's what therapy is all about - helping others to gain control over their lives.

Not every session will bring about positive results, but at least your going to see someone who can help you through the tough times. (that's part of the process - knowing that will help a lot) Believe me when I say ... when you find the right therapist and you take charge of each session with goal setting and feeding back having followed recommendations with both the good and the bad, plus having endured the purification process of dealing with hard core emotions and so forth over however many sessions; your going to really look forward to those appointments.

I cannot underestimate the importance of building a good rapport in order for such a process to work effectively. And again - keep in mind how our own sensitivities can impede on such relationships. If your taking control and positive about your sessions and still find the therapist holding you back or somehow dismissive, or stubborn in their approach ... then yes ... keep looking for a professional who is able to facilitate a good rapport ... one you can Trust!

They are out there - just remember, ultimately it is you that has the power!!! Therapists are no more than a guide. Some are more useful than others, but at the end of the day it really does come down to us.

Wishing you all the best. Take charge and be well! :)

[Joe Pu]

Thanks for sharing, the advice and encouragement.

Good point about your personal biases holding you back from change. One thing that has kept me from going to therapy is I know I'm very opinionated and set in my ways. However I'm also tired of the daily struggle and am desperate for anything that will help.

[Ponder]

Hi Joe,

I just wanted to add - my first post about the psychiatrist regarding meds. I was angry about something that related on a personal issue and should of gone on to give advice that actually helps and pertains specifically to your earlier questions.

So for the sake of resolution instead of being so pessimistic, I'll say the following.


Not wishing to take medication: / or wishing to avoid them:

As I already mentioned, there are good therapists out their that do listen. That's the main goal of any psychologist. The good ones are good listeners! I find the topic of medication with a therapist will reveal just how "rigid" they are. I will often use the topic of med when coming across a new therapists as a gauge to find out just from the start, just how rigid they be. It's also a good to be up front from the start about your stance on being medicated.

Decades ago, I found many therapists as complacent as the GP's /Serial Packet Doctors. However I am pleased to report, that the best Psychologists I have had great rapports with are those who respect and encourage alternative methods. Having said that, this can be subject to an individual needs. These types of Psychologists are not rigid, and will encourage the use of med if indeed it is shown to have a positive effect on their clients.

I'm just letting you know, that there are many therapists who respect and encourage other methods as a means to foregoing antidepressants and like wise brain altering drugs. In fact whilst they may support someone who is either in need and or reliant on drugs; supporting alternatives methods is the primary focus of going to a councillor/therapists. Therapy is about helping people do away with crutches, not developing a dependency on them.

So yea. It should (edit - NOT) be hard to find a therapist that respect those clients who wish to remain off the mood stabilizers. Finding out a therapist's stand on medication is not that hard. I prefer to do it, reading between the lines as well as being straight up. If I find a therapists that appears pro-meds - that is to say one that are easy to read between the lines after the raising it the topic of meds (many pro-med therapists will just agree with your wish to be off them (but it's easy to tell when it's just an agreement for agreements sake) and they show signs of being complacent on said topic - then I pretty much come up with another reason as to why I will move on, and do so respectfully.

Srry to be long winded - My therapy is Very Important to me. It's my medication. :)

Complacency often comes about with those people in the wrong job. Sadly medication is often used as a quick way of dealing with people. Meds are not just a quick fix for those taking them, they can also provide an effective means for those professionals who are overburdened, and or just wanting to quickly spin the revolving door as doing so facilitates a steady stream of patients and more selfishly more $$$$$.

I consider this a bias worth holding onto and one that I use to filter out those professionals less conducive to me well being. The good news is, that Yes - there are plenty of professionals out there that will Not encouraging medications if in fact that is your desire. Most Psychotherapy Practitioners today will only be too happy to help people take control of their lives without the need for crutches. Dependency on medication is known to be an epidemic this day and age. Good therapy strives to help people become independent, not the other way around.

It's not about being Anti-Meds, its about being respected. Sadly - So do watch out for those complacent professionals - but don't angst over it. You'll know the ones that are pro meds soon enough. Just do with those who actually listen! Very easy to tell those one from the rigid ones.
______________________________________________

OK - Therapy styles ... another form of being rigid is Tact - Some only know a few ways to communicate. So whilst one may find a Therapists who is not complacent with medication, you may well find one that "seems" a little pushy with they way they deal with you. Some times I may change a therapist because they are too old school and think that upsetting me will allow me to deal with deep seeded issues. I'll dump those ones on the spot. Thanks for coming. :) - Of course they are only trying to help and some are more subtle than others. None the less, I'm overly sensitive to the different styles. I'm big on finding someone who's a Pro Listener!!! They are virtually impossible to detect any kind of tact at all and make awesome "Servants to the "Industry" (I smile here) - I mean they provide an excellent service to the community that is not about spinning the economic wheel economy (via that context of complacency) and yet able to make a good living doing what they do.

So therapy style is sometimes a reason I will also move on - Not in spite - just as a mere inbuilt policy for my own well being.

I've been in this game for a very long time as a patient - and many of those years I am please to say is Not as a Victim. I've simply come to learn how to use the services in order to make the most of what's available to me.

______________________________________________

I think that more appropriately answers you questions - the only other one is:

HOW DO I CHANGE THERAPISTS?

Sadly this comes down to $$$$$$$ - and if like me, your in the "Welfare Sector" - then you will be reliant on "Welfare Sector Professionals"
HMMMMMMM - Welcome to the "Land Of Complacency" It's no one's fault. I say it with no regret. It is what it is. Life is Not easy and that's OK! I'll try not to reveal this hard core fact from by naming such an ordeal as "The Transition" that needs to happen or some other fang dangled New Age Twist on the state of the world. The population will soon be 9 billion soon enough and whilst people squabble with whatever debates, complacency will be an issue long after any kind of tipping point is reached.

SO - how to deal with complacent attitudes within the field of the overburdened "Welfare Sector Mental Health INDUSTRY"

Read The Fine Print! - ASK WHAT SUBSIDIES ARE AVAILABLE. Assess whether it's worth making yourself a candidate for welfare assistance. (Depending on your status - sometimes it is & sometimes it's not ... also depends on how resilient one is too)The latter here is a bit more tricky and requires a strong desire to fight for what you want. I'm on a roll so will go on with my meaning.

But first - Read the fine print and ASK what's available re your status and also what your status could be. Now whilst the "Welfare Sector" is inundated with low end services running off students and Pros who are quick for a quick fix in a sector that's bursting at the seams ... Understand that by changing your doctors and therapists, there are always new methods being employed in mental health that can really do some good. It's just a matter of getting the subsidy so that you can "Dump and Run." AKA - Pick & Choose. :)

When I was able to work (in the "work FORCE") - I sometimes avoided it simply because I could not afford it. One would lose concessions and or subsidies in services that I relied upon. Sounds crazy I know - but it's just another fact in our system that requires having to jump up so many levels before you can truly regard yourself as seemingly and reasonably somewhat independent (no one is in the current system and in many ways never are in life as it is) - Let's just round that off as a kind of penalty, disincentive to keep things buffered - to suppress an overwhelming number from rising to quick. Again - just my view and I no longer place any kind of invested emotion into it - other than, is what it is - as in come what may - yadda yadda, let the clouds pass on by.

I respectfully just say I find my abundance within - and now I say with http://www.sherv.net/cm/emoticons/hand-gestures/quotation-sign-smiley-emoticon.gif "The Welfare Sector" by making the most out of what's available. It requires a STRONG desire to take charge and dig deep with what one has within. No longer blaming my "predicament" or a supposed set of circumstances (past/present/future) and again, working with what one has. What does one have? Usually a lot more than what one thinks!

Here's the thing - I only highlight the complacency of services and servants as something to be aware of. It's more important that we ourselves do not become complacent, lest the world turn into a black hole and suck the life out of us. (like how you alluded to when finishing off your last post) Sick of being sick.

It was only then that I found out that I actually had some options available. Many of which where not widely advertised, as to do so would see the services more overwhelmed than they already are. So whilst politicians and various services imply there are subsidies and various services available, finding the information and prerequisites takes a lot of asking around. You kind of have to sell yourself, push for the answers, and be prepared to not take no for an answer. One has to doctor hop and yes, in some cases change therapists until you find one that you find agreeable and "believes in you as much as you do yourself"

Approaching with a sick of being sick attitude may be a good place to start off slowly, but in some sectors, such as the "welfare one [no $$$$$$]" it requires more of a vivacious will to overcome ... overwhelming odds!

I'll turn my anxiety and manic ways into such a required driving force, rather than focus on it being the source of my otherwise inability.
_______________________________________

Now I feel I have adequately answered your questions in full, albeit from my mere perspective.

[Joe Pu]

Thanks Ponder. I have insurance coverage from my wife so I have a wider range of choices. There is still a hefty co-pay but we can afford it at the moment.

Just finished with my first session and so far so good. We spent most of the hour going over my history. It was good to be able to talk about the things that have been bothering me. After that we spent 5 minutes working on breathing techniques. She favors meditation as a way of managing anxiety but that's fine with me as it's also something I want to try. I don't get any sense yet that she's pushy about anything in particular so hopefully that stays the same going forward.