Anxious without realizing it?

[James Hannon]

Hi everyone, I was just curious about how many other people have experienced something similar to this. Little backstory, the past few years have been a little rough regarding health, with a kidney scare and now some kind of autoimmune disease and/or arthritis scare, not to mention a lot of happenings at work...so my stress levels have been awful. I commute about 1 hour and 40 minutes twice a day for work on a commuter train and I've done so for about 3 years now. My girlfriend and I are looking for apartments closer to our office so we can cut that time down by an hour because of the physical and mental impacts its taken on us.

Now that that's out of the way, I've been noticing more and more prolonged bouts of breathlessness, where it feels like i just can't get enough air in. This leads me to actually THINKING about breathing, and trying to make every breath count...which of course leads to what I imagine is anxiousness and fear that something is wrong (heart related specifically). I've been tested before and never had issues , so I'm lead to believe that this HAS to be some sort of anxious reaction. Am I subconsciously making myself freak out when I'm riding home every night? or could it be something related to posture? (The seats are hard as hell and you end up squished up in there).

Any thoughts are appreciated. Thank you

[Snakeadelic]

I've had anxiety related to health issues--I may be staring down a major surgery soon, and the manager of the apartments I live in recently had to get the corporation in another state that owns the place to authorize a physical change to the exterior of the building because the tenant downstairs from me is among the least caring and cooperative humans I've ever met. I'm allergic to her favorite laundry treatments and her dryer vent is directly below the only access, both stairway and door, to my unit. Under no circumstances is she willing to change ANYTHING despite my MD having written a letter explaining that 5 years of exposure to her vent fumes have turned my artificial-scent allergy potentially lethal, so a ventilation shunt has to be created to force her dryer exhaust away from that side of the building.

The subconscious mind is a terrifyingly powerful thing, and there may be an element of its trickery at work for you. One of the best lessons ever taught to me by a man who taught me MANY important things is that the subconscious mind cannot tell truth from lie when dealing with one's own thoughts and words. It is possible that your concern about being concerned, and about your health, is being worsened by your subconscious deciding that if you're worried then ALL your fears must be valid. The good news is that it is possible to retrain the subconscious, though it takes time and consistency. As soon as I learned what the subconscious can do, I stopped calling myself things like stupid, worthless, and crazy--and within a couple of months I noticed I felt a lot less stupid, worthless, and crazy.

If you turn out to have generalized anxiety disorder (mine comes with a hefty side order of panic attacks) it is also possible to have anxiety strike very literally out of nowhere. I have several panic triggers that are more powerful than others...but I've also been known to have panic attacks in my sleep.

I believe your plan to move in order to reduce commute time is an excellent idea! I'd move out of here, except that it would cost me my 10-year-old pets, a 12-year partner, and there are no places within 40 miles of me that I could afford that would not at least triple my allergen exposure. Anxiety as an illness is a predator, always looking for a way to override healthy thought patterns. Having a supportive partner and a plan are two of the very best things you can do in your situation. I hope you find a good living situation, and soon!