Anxiety and Insomnia

[brucey]

Hiya,

I am new to this but thought i would just post the problems that I have been having and see if anyone has any advice or similar problems.
I recently found out that someone i was very close to in the past committed suicide and it has had a really bad effect on me. I am scared on my own at night and have had sleeping problems as well. I cant sleep on my own i need someone in the room. I picture the persons face in windows and mirrors and it makes me have heart palpitations and hot sweats. I hate being on my own at night and when i am trying to sleep i just feel so scared but i dont know what of. I am scared to shut my eyes and I have to have a light on. The sleeping problems have improved a bit because i am with my boyfriend but i am scared of being in a situtaion when i have to sleep on my own and I cant.

I feel so stupid because i am 21 and when i went home i had to have my mum in the bed with me. But I just get so worked up about it that i am terrified and if i do drop off the slightest noise wakes me up and usually i am dripping in sweat and my heart is beating really fast. I want to sort it out because i dont want this to happen whenever something bad happens in my life?

Any advice, does counselling help that is what people have suggested?

Sleeping tablets made it even worse.

Please help!

Thanks

[northstar]

brucey, my deepest sympathies to you that you lost someone so tragically :console: and also that you are going through this horrible anxiety on top of it, i'm sorry it had such an effect on you.

i'm not a counsellor or anything, but it sounds to me like you are grieving for your friend, that's totally understandable in such circumstances. death affects us all differently, it's so hard to deal with, and when someone takes their own life it can be just impossible to get our heads around it, it's just shocking. i think it might definitely help you to organise to see someone for counselling for a little while? you may find it very helpful. it sounds like this has brought up some major issues for you, again totally understandable, and you need to deal with them, talking can really help to do that. you might find a group or a counsellor who deals with bereavement in your area?

and please don't be ashamed of your anxiety, i slept beside my mum once or twice too when i really needed someone there, and i was 24 when that was happening! (i'm only 25 now). i'm glad you have people around you who are supporting you, it's wonderful that you mum is so caring to stay with you when you sleep :)

my anxiety did not come from the same place as you, but nonetheless i did find counselling incredibly helpful. it helped me to explore my mind in a positive, unjudgemental way and to learn how to deal with stress better and how to control irrational worries and thoughts. just talking to someone in a theraputic space really helped, you may find the same?

not sleeping really sucks too, unfortunately it just adds to the stress. and at night can be the worst for anxious thoughts, when everything is quiet and we're not distracted by normal daytime activities anxiety can run wild if it's allowed to. you might like to try some techniques to help you get to sleep like getting some exercise in earlier in the day and keeping busy to wear yourself out in a healthy way. taking a nice hot bath with a couple of drops of lavender oil in it can also help, the heat of the bath will make you sleepy and the lavender will soothe you. looking into taking a yoga or meditation class may also help? they can help you relax and get into a calm state of mind before you sleep, and the breathing techniques you learn can be very helpful during panic attacks. try also avoiding any coffee or tea or sugary things a couple of hours before you sleep. drinks like coffee stop your body producing the hormones your body naturally makes to help you sleep. try having something soothing instead like chamomile tea or warm milk.

and remember to be good to yourself. you've been through a rough time and you deserve some TLC. maybe book a massage or some accupuncture, or something you like to do to chill out and relax? actually accupuncture can be good for sleeping problems as far as i know, i'm not too sure about that you might want to look into it?

that's all i can think of for now, if i think of anything else i'll get back to you :) once again, my heart goes out to you in such a sad situation, i really hope you're feeling good again soon and back to yourself. remember it's ok to feel bad, like i said, death really does affect us all differently and can be so hard to deal with, take care of yourself and remember that you deserve all the help you can get to feel better again. lots of love and light to you :)