PDA

View Full Version : Feel like giving up



Kixxi
01-12-2016, 08:02 AM
I feel like I need to vent my frustration today. I've been doing CBT for about two months. Even though I felt a big difference in the beginning, it seems like I cannot get any relief from my anxiety any more. My anticipation anxiety for going out has gone through the roof and I did not make it to the psychologist office today. I was waiting at the bus stop and just could not get on the bus. I felt so damn nauseous, so chose to return home. Unfortunately, this choice made the anxiety win... Even though I walked four streets to the bus stop, I did not make my appointment. Now I'm so close to giving up, I'm so tired and spent after these two months. I'm constantly confronted with the things that scare me and the anxiety is just getting worse. Exposure should be bringing my anxiety down, yet no such affect lately. I can't help but feel like a failure at the moment, letting anxiety win once again. I'm all over the place...

Dahila
01-12-2016, 12:59 PM
kIxxi you learn to control it, and you never get rid of that. There is no magic , I have it for over 50 years and still kicking. Of course some days are bad some are good. try to focus on good time not on the anxiety one:)

Kixxi
01-12-2016, 04:18 PM
kIxxi you learn to control it, and you never get rid of that. There is no magic , I have it for over 50 years and still kicking. Of course some days are bad some are good. try to focus on good time not on the anxiety one:)

Thanks Dahila, it's just so frustrating. You take two steps forward and three back... I will keep trying, I am just so angry and upset at the moment, with myself, with my body, that damn amygdala! Feels like my body hates me lol

jessed03
01-12-2016, 05:02 PM
I'm sorry to hear that Kixxi. :-/

The amygdala can certainly be a pain in the ass for us anxious folk. Amen to that.

Have you spoken to your therapist about your frustrations? If so, what did he/she say?

cloudy black
01-13-2016, 04:53 AM
I feel like I need to vent my frustration today. I've been doing CBT for about two months. Even though I felt a big difference in the beginning, it seems like I cannot get any relief from my anxiety any more. My anticipation anxiety for going out has gone through the roof and I did not make it to the psychologist office today. I was waiting at the bus stop and just could not get on the bus. I felt so damn nauseous, so chose to return home. Unfortunately, this choice made the anxiety win... Even though I walked four streets to the bus stop, I did not make my appointment. Now I'm so close to giving up, I'm so tired and spent after these two months. I'm constantly confronted with the things that scare me and the anxiety is just getting worse. Exposure should be bringing my anxiety down, yet no such affect lately. I can't help but feel like a failure at the moment, letting anxiety win once again. I'm all over the place...

hi kixxi how many more sessions you got left? dont forget you have had anxiety for a long time and these things take a while to change and it is hard i know. you just need it to go away and i so so get that. but this is the battle that people have frequently with anxiety. if you can keep going. you may have to fight many battles before you can win the war! life is not easy and that is the bottom line. Dont forget all your victories that you have had in the past. dont let the anxiety be the loudest voice to win out. see CBT as an opportunity to become more self aware. yes right now it is bleak but what you are going through now will give you conscious experience for the future.

anxiety is a difficult beast to tame and just know that many people can relate to your struggles. and if anyone reading this thread started by Kixxi can offer any helpful feedback regarding what positive and helpful things they do to tackle their anxiety that would be good

Dahila
01-13-2016, 11:59 AM
Thanks Dahila, it's just so frustrating. You take two steps forward and three back... I will keep trying, I am just so angry and upset at the moment, with myself, with my body, that damn amygdala! Feels like my body hates me lol
tell me about it, and the insomnia pairing with it, eh:(

Kixxi
01-14-2016, 07:18 AM
hi kixxi how many more sessions you got left? dont forget you have had anxiety for a long time and these things take a while to change and it is hard i know. you just need it to go away and i so so get that. but this is the battle that people have frequently with anxiety. if you can keep going. you may have to fight many battles before you can win the war! life is not easy and that is the bottom line. Dont forget all your victories that you have had in the past. dont let the anxiety be the loudest voice to win out. see CBT as an opportunity to become more self aware. yes right now it is bleak but what you are going through now will give you conscious experience for the future.

anxiety is a difficult beast to tame and just know that many people can relate to your struggles. and if anyone reading this thread started by Kixxi can offer any helpful feedback regarding what positive and helpful things they do to tackle their anxiety that would be good

I try to look at it that way and I will try my hardest to keep going. It is true that years of bad thinking is really difficult to reverse. Right now I'm trying the Claire Weekes approach of floating, hoping it will get me through the week. I did go for two walks yesterday and they went rather well, still, the anxiety is always present.

This afternoon I have an appointment with my doctor as well for a medication review. I'm only on a baby dose at the moment, so I'll see what he has to say on the subject and plodder on :)

cloudy black
01-14-2016, 09:27 AM
I try to look at it that way and I will try my hardest to keep going. It is true that years of bad thinking is really difficult to reverse. Right now I'm trying the Claire Weekes approach of floating, hoping it will get me through the week. I did go for two walks yesterday and they went rather well, still, the anxiety is always present.

This afternoon I have an appointment with my doctor as well for a medication review. I'm only on a baby dose at the moment, so I'll see what he has to say on the subject and plodder on :)

yes the anxiety will be something you may have as an ongoing thing. my anxiety is background and is easily triggered. yesterday it was quite bad. and walking is good and i am intending to start again...i used to walk miles to cope with the anxiety levels. for me over the years i have been putting into place things that help and i have stopped where i can doing the things that i know are unhelpful. like watching tv as most of it is a diet of negativity and empty celebrity shows.

i would use the analogy of "eating high fat, salt and sugar junk food this has an effect on the body so why wouldnt watching random stuff not have the same effect only instead of the body it effects the mh wellbeing." i watch things on the internet now. having anxiety is for me changing my lifestyle choices.

Anne1221
01-14-2016, 04:51 PM
Keep us posted on what your doctor has to say. When you say you are on a baby dose, what are you taking? I love your determination and spirit to keep fighting.

Kixxi
01-15-2016, 09:12 AM
Keep us posted on what your doctor has to say. When you say you are on a baby dose, what are you taking? I love your determination and spirit to keep fighting.

Baby dose = 50 mg of sertraline. :)

I visited the doctor. He said that the increase of anxiety is extremely common in this type of therapy. He did put my medication up to help with exposure and help me relax at home. Not much effect yet, because I think I was able to turn it around myself.

(there is another post about what I am going to tell you - I posted it earlier, but I thought I'd quickly repeat it here). I was so anxious getting up this morning and I had no idea why! Then it dawned on me. What have I been doing for two months and what haven't I been doing for two months? I been so busy facing my fears that I've been ignoring the relaxation side of things. I've been searching for problems left and right, but did not take time to actually relax, breathe and maybe do some meditation.

Once I've realised the error of my ways, I went for another walk and then did some meditation right after. Result? Anxiety drop of 60-70%! Will do a good meditation tonight, have a nice shower and enjoy the small things. I'll keep going, even though it's hard. Facing fear is one thing, but looking after your body is also needed.

Also everyone who has replied to my thread, thank you so much for your support and kind words. Your words and encouragement help me to keep going and have hope. You are all very special xx

Anne1221
01-15-2016, 09:48 AM
You are so right that it is extremely important to keep up with the physical things that help anxiety. And look what a difference it made for you, wow! Reduction of 60-70%. Keep up the good work.

Kixxi
01-15-2016, 11:05 AM
Unfortunately, I think it is something we all have to keep doing to make our body less prone to the feelings of anxiety. Once they are there, there is nothing you can do about it and you have to ride it out. But if you can make it less somehow I think it's worth it...