petrichor
01-09-2016, 11:59 AM
hello there,
im here to vent about something that bothers me a lot. i've noticed that i have a lot of negative thoughts, and these thoughts tend to be about people. i do think negatively about myself, but what really upsets me is the fact that my mind just makes bad comments that i, as a human being, would absolutely hate making. i don't know why this happens. i sincerely hate judging people. it's just that these thoughts make me feel very guilty and ashamed. it's like im actually a bad person. i also feel negative emotions, like jealousy, for instance, and it irks me so much. i hate feeling and thinking this way. whenever i catch myself with these thoughts and feelings, i scold myself. it's not who i am.
another thing that happens is that i tend to feel so stupid. i just feel like i am generally a dumb person and it saddens me so much. it's like i feel so intimidated by my friends because they're so intelligent and intellectual. it's not just academics (school-wise), it's general topics. i feel so insignificant and pretentious. getting bad marks at school usually ends up making me feel stupid as well. this is really affecting me. it's so rare for me to have a day with no negativity and worries. sometimes, i just feel so lethargic and hopeless. i tend to worry and overthink and i do believe i have a problem with perfectionism, which bothers me so much. im just so scared about school. there's just so much stress and i just...i feel like i usually end up disappointing people. why am i not so intelligent? there's the fact that im always haunted by (humiliating) memories, too...
i don't know if this has anything to do with anxiety...i just wanted to vent.
im here to vent about something that bothers me a lot. i've noticed that i have a lot of negative thoughts, and these thoughts tend to be about people. i do think negatively about myself, but what really upsets me is the fact that my mind just makes bad comments that i, as a human being, would absolutely hate making. i don't know why this happens. i sincerely hate judging people. it's just that these thoughts make me feel very guilty and ashamed. it's like im actually a bad person. i also feel negative emotions, like jealousy, for instance, and it irks me so much. i hate feeling and thinking this way. whenever i catch myself with these thoughts and feelings, i scold myself. it's not who i am.
another thing that happens is that i tend to feel so stupid. i just feel like i am generally a dumb person and it saddens me so much. it's like i feel so intimidated by my friends because they're so intelligent and intellectual. it's not just academics (school-wise), it's general topics. i feel so insignificant and pretentious. getting bad marks at school usually ends up making me feel stupid as well. this is really affecting me. it's so rare for me to have a day with no negativity and worries. sometimes, i just feel so lethargic and hopeless. i tend to worry and overthink and i do believe i have a problem with perfectionism, which bothers me so much. im just so scared about school. there's just so much stress and i just...i feel like i usually end up disappointing people. why am i not so intelligent? there's the fact that im always haunted by (humiliating) memories, too...
i don't know if this has anything to do with anxiety...i just wanted to vent.