So, any information about dibilitating performance anxiety?

[fiddlewheel]

Dont want to get too much into detail, but I have suffered from an anxiety disorder that changed my life when I was a teenager.

When I was a child, I would be able to do almost anything I put my hands on, I was one of those that could just pick up a thing, and instantly be good at it.
And if I werent, I would try to find out why this was so, and if it was worth it to follow through on.

But, I met some guys that were super critical towards everything I did, and being the impressionabe me that I am, I got their words under my skin.
I developed such an anxiety disorder where I could just not perform on anything, because I got afraid of failing, which was my greatest strength, my learning from failing. They took it away from me because they didnt like me...

Now, I am used to not performing, I just do stuff, I dont care how well I do it, I just do it, come good or bad. Its how I learned to cope. Not care about my own life.

I just want to know, anyone else recognize this? any categories this falls into?

My illness made it hard to even do menial tasks, like being even able to rest or fall asleep. I got anxious of if the thoughts were right if I couldnt fall asleep, which led to me getting a panic attack, which makes it impossible to fall asleep, which then would have the "voices" in my head be correct. It was such a horrible time.
I just had to let go of everything. I could not do anything with myself.
I have learned my family on my mothers side is more subjective to anxiety disorders.

Anyone, could you just give me just plain information?
Thanks for reading.

[Nowuccas]

Hey fiddlewheel,

Information on natural treatments for panic attacks may be found in my previous post at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33197-Do-I-have-anxiety-disorder-or-something-worse&p=220006#post220006

REPROGRAMMING:
Use the Technique for Reprogramming Negative Thoughts: It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind.

After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version.

Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method. Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, like: "I am a unique individual, with my own set of skills, and good points", or "I may not be perfect, but I'm doing the best I can, right now".

Using the above, with determination and persistence, they will reduce in frequency, but will always recur from time to time, which is normal, and healthy.

Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind; view http://myfavoriteinterests.com/hypnosis/ about what it is, and isn't. 85% of people are suggestible to some degree; 15% - 20% highly so, and 15% - 20% aren't much at all, so you could either preferably seek professional hypnotherapy, or, if not an option, hypnosisdownloads.com has one on caring less about the opinions of others.