fiddlewheel
01-08-2016, 04:20 PM
Dont want to get too much into detail, but I have suffered from an anxiety disorder that changed my life when I was a teenager.
When I was a child, I would be able to do almost anything I put my hands on, I was one of those that could just pick up a thing, and instantly be good at it.
And if I werent, I would try to find out why this was so, and if it was worth it to follow through on.
But, I met some guys that were super critical towards everything I did, and being the impressionabe me that I am, I got their words under my skin.
I developed such an anxiety disorder where I could just not perform on anything, because I got afraid of failing, which was my greatest strength, my learning from failing. They took it away from me because they didnt like me...
Now, I am used to not performing, I just do stuff, I dont care how well I do it, I just do it, come good or bad. Its how I learned to cope. Not care about my own life.
I just want to know, anyone else recognize this? any categories this falls into?
My illness made it hard to even do menial tasks, like being even able to rest or fall asleep. I got anxious of if the thoughts were right if I couldnt fall asleep, which led to me getting a panic attack, which makes it impossible to fall asleep, which then would have the "voices" in my head be correct. It was such a horrible time.
I just had to let go of everything. I could not do anything with myself.
I have learned my family on my mothers side is more subjective to anxiety disorders.
Anyone, could you just give me just plain information?
Thanks for reading.
When I was a child, I would be able to do almost anything I put my hands on, I was one of those that could just pick up a thing, and instantly be good at it.
And if I werent, I would try to find out why this was so, and if it was worth it to follow through on.
But, I met some guys that were super critical towards everything I did, and being the impressionabe me that I am, I got their words under my skin.
I developed such an anxiety disorder where I could just not perform on anything, because I got afraid of failing, which was my greatest strength, my learning from failing. They took it away from me because they didnt like me...
Now, I am used to not performing, I just do stuff, I dont care how well I do it, I just do it, come good or bad. Its how I learned to cope. Not care about my own life.
I just want to know, anyone else recognize this? any categories this falls into?
My illness made it hard to even do menial tasks, like being even able to rest or fall asleep. I got anxious of if the thoughts were right if I couldnt fall asleep, which led to me getting a panic attack, which makes it impossible to fall asleep, which then would have the "voices" in my head be correct. It was such a horrible time.
I just had to let go of everything. I could not do anything with myself.
I have learned my family on my mothers side is more subjective to anxiety disorders.
Anyone, could you just give me just plain information?
Thanks for reading.