New to the site and looking for help

[Holyrood21]

I have always been a sever worrier but this is the first time I have experienced this level of anxiety. I think it started about a year ago, my Dad had a heart attack whilst on holiday abroad and I got a phone call at work to say he was intensive care, I obviously couldn't get out there straight away and it was a hellish few days. He is fine now thank god but my anxiety has continued to grow, not really about my Dad but all sorts of things.

For example we went on holiday to France and the whole time I had a dreaded feeling I wouldn't make it home. The day before and day of sailing back to the UK, inwardly I was a nervous wreck, I was literally counting the minutes to get back to the UK when I thought my anxiety would subside, which of course it didn't. I have travelled all over the world and have never experienced anything like this.

Then in November I was referred to a breast clinic for abnormal symptoms. I got the all clear but the symptoms haven't really gone away, I now wonder if they are being caused by anxiety (pain and itching on and off). This is obviously increasing my anxiety, I constantly check myself, Google symptoms, can't sleep and it's always on my mind.

I am really struggling with this because before when I have been worrying I have been able to rationally talk myself to a reasonable state but this time I just don't seem to be able to. Outwardly I am functioning as normal, I go to work, manage the house, go out with friends etc. It seems to be worse in the evening when I come home, I guess because I have less to distract myself. I really don't want this getting any worse, I've downloaded a couple of self help books and in the cold light of day it makes sense and then my mind wanders and I am back to high levels of anxiety, worst case scenario playing out in my mind.

I've not been to my GP as they really are useless, you can't even get an appointment without explaining to the receptionist what's wrong with you and then a nurse assesses if an appointment is needed or not over the phone. I do think this is getting out of control though and would appreciate any advise.

[Nowuccas]

Hey Holyrood21,

Because I have no idea of what information or techniques that forum members are aware of, I attempt to provide some on natural treatments.

There are previous posts on hypochondria / health anxiety and insomnia at http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33806-BAD-Health-anxiety-Have-afew-questions and http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?33197-Do-I-have-anxiety-disorder-or-something-worse&p=220006#post220006

A previous post on anxiety follows, modified for you:

Limit "worrying time" to 30 - 45 mns, daily, possibly when you get home, or after your evening meal, but not too close to bedtime, after which, resolve firmly to refuse to worry again on that day. Understand that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life. Having had your "worry time" for the day, you can just write down any more thoughts that come to mind, and say to yourself: "Well, I'll just have to worry about that tomorrow, won't I?".

It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately.

Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind. After identifying, and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version.

Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method.

I'm aware of the opinion that inflicting pain doesn't prevent fear, but the intention is to reprogram, and establish a different way of thinking, by commitment to repetition. It usually takes around 25 to 40 repetitions to establish a new habit.

Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, like: "I am a unique individual, with my own set of skills, and good points", or "I may not be perfect, but I'm doing the best I can, right now".

Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditation.htm
or www.wikihow.com/Meditate and/or Tai Chi, Qi Gong, or yoga.

Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at *http://eft.mercola.com or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) or YouTube EFT. Professionally instructed is best. There is a version for use in public places*, (you can claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage/tapping on your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I have anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself."

Herbal remedies, such as chamomile, passionflower, or St. John's wort, (many brands contain insufficient hyperforin to balance its hypericum content; Kira, Jarsin, and Perika brands are recommended; take with a meal) are often effective, but the idea is (as with anxiolytic medication) to use them like water wings, or training wheels on a bicycle, providing initial support, and giving time for other treatments, such as therapy, and relaxation techniques, to take effect. See http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/conditionsatod/a/Anxiety.htm

Imagine, as vividly as you possibly can, that your concerns, anxieties, worries, fears, your self-recriminations, all the agonizing "I'm-so-Stupids"; every painful "I-can't-do-it", etc., are huge raging, hurtful bulls snorting and charging at you. You see them coming at you and you hold out your red matador's cape at arms length and simply let them charge right by. Every time they come at you, hold out your arm with the red cape and let them rage and snort and go right on past. A free E course in CBT for anxiety is at: http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/welcome

85% of people are suggestible, to some extent, so consider professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines are at: http://your-mental-health.weebly.com/i.html where this came from; see the rest.

Try your bookstore, Amazon.com, or BarnesAndNoble.com for: How to Control Your Anxiety before It Controls You, by Albert Ellis, & Self-Coaching: How to Heal Anxiety and Depression, Joseph J. Luciani Ph.D., & Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, by Edmund Bourne, & Natural Relief for Anxiety: Complementary Strategies for Easing Fear, Panic & Worry by Edmund J. Bourne, Arlen Brownstein, and Lorna Garano, & The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques: Understanding How Your Brain Makes You Anxious and What You Can Do to Change It by Margaret Wehrenberg, & Managing Anxiety. Kennerley, Helen., and/or "Calm : a proven four-step process designed specifically for women who worry" - Denise Marek, Hay House, c2006. and/or "Women who worry too much : how to stop worry & anxiety from ruining relationships, work & fun" - Holly Hazlett-Stevens.

Hoping something in the above helps.