Help with my Anxiety..

[ensie]

I'm reeaalllyy sorry for the long post - i just find it easier talking behind a computer screen then to friends and family.

In the last two months I've had a few panic attacks, where I had palpatations, shortness of breath and felt everything spiralling around me getting worse and worse - two of the scariest moments in my life.

I feel on edge constantly (not every minute of every day but the majority of my time is spent worrying about something)
I get upset about things the smallest things can trigger me and just set me off, making me cry, get nervous and I struggle to see a soloution. I'm worried the GP will think I'm just being silly and I'm wasting their time as it's not really a problem, it's just a constant feeling of dread over nothing. The tiniest thing can trigger me and I feel like I'm living to wait untill the next thing sets me off in a state of worrying! The thought of a panic attack seems to induce one!

It's almost like i'm arguing with myself in my head! (the best way I can think of describing it) between what I feel to be natural and what I know is rational.. (unfortunatly I find it natural and normal to run from my car to my front door and get all flustered as I worry im going to be killed on my doorstep. I also find it normal to over analyse things, to spend hours dwelling on something that happened the other day that ended in me embarressing myself. I loose sleep) in all honesty, I can't remember a time when I was perfectly relaxed and feeling 'normal' it's been like this for aaages!

[Bungle]

Hi ensie,
I'm sorry to hear you're feeling bad with your anxiety. Doctors are there to help you, and what you're feeling is very real so you shouldn't feel bad going to explore why you're feeling as you are. If you're worried about how you will be percieved, why not write down exactly what you want to discuss, or perhaps take someone with you. I took my fiance with me and my doctor was absolutely lovely. She explained what anxiety is and recommended me for counselling which has helped enormously.

You refer to 'arguing' with yourself in your head. I think that sounds very positive providing your 'self-talk' is giving you the right message e.g. during a period of panic you're telling yourself you're ok, that you can handle it and that there is nothing to fear and that it will pass'. Have a look at some of the other postings where people have kindly put links for sites that discuss anxiety (particularly the member called northstar)- there's alot of info that might help you rationalise your fear.

Take care and keep posting how you're feeling. :D

[northstar]

hallo ensie, welcome to the forum :) i'm sorry that you're having such a horrible time at the moment, anxiety really sucks. bungle has hit the nail on the head by telling you that doctors are there to help you, and it's a really good idea to talk to your GP about it. they know how real anxiety is and how scary it can be believe me, your problem isn't tivial. it's quite hard to go to them though, i know! it took a lot of courage for me to go to the doctor first and when i did i broke down in tears and could barely speak properly i was blubbering so much lol. but she was so nice, she haded me a box of tissues and really took time to listen to me and gave me good advice. just remember that your mental health is just as important as your physical health, if you were having physical problems you'd go see your doc no problem, and you should treat your mental health just the same. it's incrediby important, our minds are prone to upset just as much as our bodies are and it's so important to look after them.

you doctor can reccommend somewhere for you to find a counsellor or psychotherapist who can help you to begin to talk about your anxiety. talking is a very good step. those arguments you have in your head sound very familiar to me, i used to do the exact same thing. the positive thing about it is exactly what bungle says, at least your rational mind is still in play :) therapy can help that rational part of your mind become stronger, i found it really helped me to engage my rational mind when i was having irrational worries and i slowly got better better at it. it can also be good just to help you deal with everyday stress and worries, all the difficult things that happen in life. i found it fantastic!

i tend to believe that there is often a trigger for anxiety, be it mental or physical. i don't think it just appears out of the blue one day for simply no reason at all. my own anxiety problem was triggered i believe by a very stressful job, 2 years on a birth control pill that can cause adrenal failure and a month long illness where i couldn't eat properly. lots of things culminated in a major panic and anxiety problem and i thought i would loose my mind. my doctor wanted to hospitalise me and to put me on drugs, but fortunately was willing to let me try to beat it myself first. eventually i discovered that there was a major link between what i was eating and my anxiety/panic. because of all the stress & being unable to eat i hadn't been getting all the nutrients i needed and my body was drained & i was suffering from hypoglycemia. fortunately i was able to solve the problems through diet, by cutting out sugars/coffee/tea/alcohol/soda/fast burning carbohydrates and beginning to eat small amounts of food regularly throughout the day to keep my blood sugars stable. lots of good nutritious food like fruit and nuts and i slowly began to get better :)

that's quite a long story cut short! basically i discovered lots of things along the way that can help anxiety. helping yourself is incredibly important, anxiety makes us feel like we have no power, helping yourself helps you to take it back and to take control, it rebuilds our strength and faith in ourselves:

take a vitmain B supplement, its very good to calm down an irritated nervous system and people who suffer from anxiety and stress often have too little of it in their bodies. make sure it's compatiable with any other meds you might be taking.

get exercise daily if you're able to - it promotes good hormones in your body that can really help.

look into your diet - take a look at what you're eating and see if it effects your levels of anxiety. similarly not eating enough can have an anxious effect too. i won't go into it too much now, but keeping your blood sugars stable can really help. i can explain further about diet and blood sugars if you would like me to, it can often be the source of anxiety without someone realising it.

talk about it - visit your GP and ask them about counselling, never think it's not important enough to talk about.

ok, i've waffled again! lol i write faaaaaar too long posts on this site! i go overboard lol. it's just that i know exactly how bad you feel and i really want to help other people to feel better again. i'm gonna give you some links to information about anxiety and stuff at the bottom here, i hope you find some of them helpful. and keep in touch, let us know how you're doing :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN-Cf2HGl9c

http://www.anxietypanic.com/nutrition.html

http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/ ... ycemia.htm (http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/articles/hypoglycemia.htm)

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... d=40586223 (http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.viewVideos&channelid=40586223)

http://www.social-anxiety-disorder-reso ... amins.html (http://www.social-anxiety-disorder-resources.com/bvitamins.html)

[ensie]

Aww thank you everyone. I wasn't expecting such helpful replies! I've gone and got a Drs appoint for end of next week. So untill then I'll have a looky at the websites you gave me northstar :) think I might try and write everything down, may make it easier.

Thanks again I really appreciate it :) as can't really talk to my friends etc, asdie from my gerneal anxiety about what people think of me and worried they will think I'm mad.. people my age tend to be less approachable when it comes to mental health!

Will post again when I've been to the Drs!

[Carla]

Hello
I am new here but read your message and decided to reply. I really am sorry that you feel the way you do. I know only too well like most of the people on this site do, what it is to experience and suffer with anxiety. My anxiety did happen for no reason at all. There was absolutely no reason for it. I suddenly had a panic attack one night in April of this year whilst relaxing,(it came out of nowhere) and from that awful moment on for 3- 4months I was sick several times a day and nauseous constantly. I would shake uncontrollably. I lost my personality and became basically someone who would sit waiting for the next anxiety attack to occur and reading endless sites on the net trying to find out what was wrong with me. It was like being trapped in a nightmare and I couldnt wake up.I lost lots of weight as I cldnt eat. I had palpitations and panic attacks and couldnt relax, was always crying and it seemed every week bought a new symptom. I wouldnt take medication because I panic about that! lol I ended up in hospital because I was so poorly physically due to the anxiety. This was an ordinary hospital and not a pyschiatric one. Slowly I am getting better, for no reason other than I am just going with the flow of anxiety, not allowing myself to be scared by it, knowing that I can control my thoughts *replacing negative with positive* and that I am in control of me. There is no outside force controlling how I feel. Its me. Anxiety is very delilatating but it is not an illness like for example cancer, it can be contolled and got rid of by yourself unlike a lot of illnesses. I looked everywhere for all explanations for how I was feeling, as I didnt want to admit I had and have anxiety.I felt like I would be classed as mentally ill. I never realised how ill it can make you feel. I became agarophobic but I refused to give in to staying indoors and missing out so much on living that I forced myself to go out and it is getting easier. I can still cry my eyes out on the doorstep trying to go out only to run back in crying, but I still go out albeit tearstained! Things will and do get better. I wish someone would have told me that in my darkest days when sometimes I could barely move due to how bad I felt. I had a small amoutnt of CBT and that helped an awful lot. I have medication whihc I know would totally help but I am terrible with taking any medication. It scares me to do so. Once you have explained to your gp how you feel and get the help you are well on your way to getting better. I wish you all the best. You will get there no matter how bad things seem right now.

[Carla]

...Just to add to my previous post..what the lady wrote previous to your last post was really good advice expecially about eating small amounts and regularly. This does stabilise your blood sugars, which have been linked to anxiety attacks. I too cut out all foods which can worsen anxiety. Vitamin B,magnesium and Agnus Castus can really help as well.
Sorry for my earlier rambling message!

[Jay12345]

Hey carla, i just want to elaborate on what you said about going out,

I just want to point out the importance of this in the recovery of anxiety, It's essential that you do not stay at home and simply bottle it up, as the anxiety will not get better as it will only feed the anxiety to a greater level.

As said in many of my previous posts, Ive recently recovered from an anxiety disorder, it took me 4 years of hard work.. One of the most important things i did with myself was literally forced myself to leave my house, everyday. I used to wake up, cry, go to college, whilst holding my tiers back all day, then go out on the night, feeling absolutely terrible.. I just continued to do this for so many years, and i wasn't aware untill i undertook CBT, whilst talking to my therapist that i had actually been doing something called 'exposure therapy' by myself! It's so gradual, but so important that you continue with living your life as well as you can..

and now, i can simply do what the hell i want! I don't every worry irrationally (obviously i worry, but you know what i mean) i'm not depressed, i feel absolutely fantastic, i'm so postive about everything and i know how to deal with the anxiety in my mind if it ever comes back...

And knowing this, all i want to do is help people who are going through the same as i did because its so easy to make these mistakes. I used to rely on looking at forums to make me feel better amongst other ways.. and i know how important this is to people!

Good luck you guys, and ill be looking forward to giving you advice and guidance the best i can!

[jane1944]

Anxieties that are caused by traumatic memories have been helped by EMDR, a therapy that uses a left brain-right brain technique. It's approved by the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association. Some therapists offer it and you can also find it on line at WebEMDR. It's currently a free site.

[northstar]

Aww thank you everyone. I wasn't expecting such helpful replies! I've gone and got a Drs appoint for end of next week. So untill then I'll have a looky at the websites you gave me northstar :) think I might try and write everything down, may make it easier.

Thanks again I really appreciate it :) as can't really talk to my friends etc, asdie from my gerneal anxiety about what people think of me and worried they will think I'm mad.. people my age tend to be less approachable when it comes to mental health!

Will post again when I've been to the Drs!

nice work ensie, i know it's tough to make that appointment with the doctor but i think you'll be glad you did. talking to someone who understands and can offer help and support can only be a good thing. i hope your inner strength continues to shine, reaching out for help is a great step towards getting better and reclaiming yourself again :) go you! hehe

and do let us know how you get on!

[Carla]

Hi!
Thank you for your reply. You suffered for 4 years???!!! I thought 5 months of me suffering with anxiety was long enough! Well done to you for getting through it all. Are you totally free now of the anxiety? Did you ever use medication? I still get out of nowhere sudden panic feelings/feelings of unease and I have to talk myself out of those feelings and tell myself that it is me making me feel like that and there is nothing for me to fear. I think about what I have to fear which is nothing. I really admire you for getting on with your life and not giving in and staying indoors crying, which is what I wanted to do a lot of the time. I love reading positive posts because they give me such hope. Thank you for sharing!
Hey carla, i just want to elaborate on what you said about going out,

I just want to point out the importance of this in the recovery of anxiety, It's essential that you do not stay at home and simply bottle it up, as the anxiety will not get better as it will only feed the anxiety to a greater level.

As said in many of my previous posts, Ive recently recovered from an anxiety disorder, it took me 4 years of hard work.. One of the most important things i did with myself was literally forced myself to leave my house, everyday. I used to wake up, cry, go to college, whilst holding my tiers back all day, then go out on the night, feeling absolutely terrible.. I just continued to do this for so many years, and i wasn't aware untill i undertook CBT, whilst talking to my therapist that i had actually been doing something called 'exposure therapy' by myself! It's so gradual, but so important that you continue with living your life as well as you can..

and now, i can simply do what the hell i want! I don't every worry irrationally (obviously i worry, but you know what i mean) i'm not depressed, i feel absolutely fantastic, i'm so postive about everything and i know how to deal with the anxiety in my mind if it ever comes back...

And knowing this, all i want to do is help people who are going through the same as i did because its so easy to make these mistakes. I used to rely on looking at forums to make me feel better amongst other ways.. and i know how important this is to people!

Good luck you guys, and ill be looking forward to giving you advice and guidance the best i can!

[Jay12345]

Heya, thanks for the reply.. I'm completely free of anxiety now, It just takes time with the right knowledge and guidance (CBT). What people must accept is that anxiety is generally a slow recovery, so therefore, why do doctors persist in subscribing all this man-made medication? It makes me so angry... I never once took any medication, i was determined to get through it myself, whether it took me 1 month or 10 years.. and i feel so accomplished now when i look at what i got myself through.. it's made me such a stronger person..

All i can say is that if you find that your anxiety is copable to the extent that you are able to function to a reasonable level then it's best to stay away from the drugs..obviously in some circumstance it is essential, but most of the time doctors just throw it at people and move onto the next person in the waiting room!

:)

[ensie]

You should have seen me today!
Had to drive to london (from bournemouth, so about 2 hours max.)
I hada letter yesterday that my car has been recalled as the bonnets have been flying up on people whilst driving.. well that was it wasn't it! I had no sleep, up all night thinking of every possible bad outcome if I drove today!

My boyfriend ended up having to drive which was ok.. I took my contact lenses out earlier to have a nap, forgot my contact solution so on the journey back I was terrified as I couldn't see very well, that just increased my anxiety, we had to stop at every petrol station my breathing was all over the place, thought I was going to throw up and I had chest pains.
Never had chest pains with it before :S

But it almost became obsessive, I thought well I'm tierd so I'll have a sleep so I don't have to think about it. Every time I closed my eyes I paniked. It turned into, if I'm not watching and paniking, we WILL crash and probably die.. does anyone else get this? It was wierd. The thought of having apanik attack on the M25 made it so much worse as well!

Thank you for all your replies, in an odd way its quite comforting to know I'm not insane and the only one!