My written experiences with anxiety

[Jan Strik]

My experiences with anxiety. I sincerely hope it will help you.

When it comes to anxiety, all the theories and therapies focus on behavior rather than sentiment, while a too strong sense is the problem. Some examples of these theories are cognitive behavioral therapy and neurolinguistic programming, but there are many more. I call it always a rational circus of diagnosis of the experts. Religious and spiritual rules dictate how you should behave, however these are no answers and therefore you remain always left with an uneasy feeling. Then there are the brain studies. Looking for abnormal genes or specific fabrics. However, one can not investigate whether these fabrics are a cause or a consequence of anxiety, so what is its value. Experts call anxiety disorders preferably a disease. That's convenient, because if you can not solve an illness is not a disgrace. Moreover, you become dependent on professionals in case of artificial complexity. They say that anxiety is hereditary, but it is not a legacy of failure from your parents. Your parents who simply had too little understanding of feelings, just when you needed it. My theory focuses on feeling. I make no distinction between anxiety in comparison with the innumerable behavioral analysis. All anxiety feels the same, for everyone, only the intensity is different. I have described my theory in a book which now has more than 20,000 readers (a free download, just to help). Because this book is written in Dutch, I'll give a brief summary here.

In my book I explain that every problem can be connected to anxiety. A problem which you cannot solve, causes stress. Not very healthy. I also describe the feelings of sadness and anger and the similarity with anxiety. On my website I describe depression, burnout, addictions, bullying and coercion.

They say anxiety is a bad counselor. My contention is, anxiety is always a good counselor, even if you suffer from excessive anxiety. If you understand anxiety completely you will understand that a warning is always justified. In my opinion, you really doing something wrong.

The theory is abstract and not immediately understandable. Perhaps you need help. If the theory is clear, the solution appears to be a very simple idea. If you're 100% confident, you never let go this single thought.

It is the theory about danger and risk and the exact difference between both. This difference is critical because danger calls the emotion of anxiety and risk calls the emotion of grief. Never the other way around. A second difference is that danger is in the present and risks in the future.

My definition is as follows. Danger is the possible cause of a possible pain. The pain is the risk, the possible result. There are two things that make the difference between these concepts so difficult. I you understand the difference a new world arises. On both the word chance is applicable. There is a change of danger and there is a chance of grief. A second problem is that danger in a different situation is a risk, because there is a downward spiral. Time for an example.

You are applying. There is a chance that you were not good enough (danger), there is a chance you will be rejected (risk). If you extend beyond the spiral, you can say rejection is now a danger, because you have not enough money to live happily (risk). Still more examples.

There is a danger if you cross the road. You can get hurt or worse. If you are so strong that you can keep all the cars against, there is no more danger.

There is a danger that you fall off a mountain slope. You can drop dead. There is no danger if you are the super mountaineer.

There is a danger that you expose your anxiety. People can bully you. You still feel inferior. If you are the person with the best confidence, if you feel good enough, there is no more danger.

You need to give a presentation. A danger because you could fail. What will people be thinking of you. If you know, that you have no problem with this, there is no danger.

Learn, that anxiety occurs only in case of danger. Learn, that there is only danger if you're not good enough or you do not feel good enough.

Practice this theory in your anxiety situations. Discover that you yourself create anxiety with the thought that you're not good enough. Are you willing to admit that you have made mistakes and have many years tormented yourself. Are you willing to admit that you've made mistakes, while professionals say that you can not help it. Now that's dangerous, that willingness. Releasing your fragile collateral. Are you willing to forgive yourself.

You can ask yourself, why one person experiences more and faster danger than the other one. The causes are severe or multiple disappointments, traumatic experiences. The biggest disappointment is, that you do not understand your own feelings, you do not understand yourself. What a shame. I write this in more detail in my book.

Do not waste your time and become happy. Lots of succes!!!

Jan Strik

[halmat]

Thanks, Jan, for your insights to anxiety. I agree with you that anxiety results when someone lacks the confidence to deal with a particular situation. I disagree with you that therapy cannot help. A therapist who fully understands the physiology of anxiety and presents practical steps a person can take to de-condition the fight or flight system could be of great help to a person with chronic anxiety and panic attacks. I, too, wrote a book on the subject of anxiety: "Un-Agoraphobic" on amazon. My approach to recovery from panic disorder includes the following areas:

Education - researching the brain science involved in a panic attack; Journal - writing daily about progress toward recovery; Building self confidence - numerous activities and practices, including learning a new skill; Meditation and mindful behavior - engaging in a thoughtful way with all things throughout the day.

I recovered from agoraphobia over 20 years ago and then began a career as a mental health social worker. After 17 years of that I wrote the book, and maintain a facebook page and a blog to pass along helpful information to folks with panic disorder. I have never heard of anyone in mental health in the U.S. referring to anxiety disorders as "diseases." All the psychiatrists and therapists I worked with in a mental health center regarded anxiety disorders as conditions that can be treated. As I understand the word disease, there has to be some pathology revealing its existence. One would have to be able to observe or measure a physical structure and there isn't such a thing in people who have anxiety. The amygdala can be observed to have an unusual buildup of particular neurons, but I don't think that could be called disease. Your thoughts?

I wish I could read Dutch because from what I've read here you have valuable and significant thoughts on the subject of anxiety. I hope you won't mind my asking about your history with anxiety. I had my first panic attack at age 10, triggered by I know not what. After that first one, I remained slightly nervous and had episodes of panic attacks every few years until by age 19 I became agoraphobic. I could no longer travel freely and didn't for another 30 years. I'm happy to have found you. Hal Mathew. (go Daphne)

[Jan Strik]

Dear Hamat

Thank you for your open and positive answer.

I have overcome my anxiety for years. I would not want to be without it. In fact my anxiety did start in my youth. I had some traumatic experiences and because of that, I did everything what another expected of me. I had some super masks of shame. Only after my divorce I suffered from serious anxiety. I could not hide anymore. My body hurts everywhere. Total panic. I have had all kinds of professional help and medication. Still, there remained something gnawing. I was not satisfied. I also thought responses should be simple, for each level, not only for professionals. Because of the complexity and the immensely number of different therapies both by professionals as well as experts, the number of discussions, my unrest, the unrest of others still searching for that super answer, all kind of publications, etc. I realize that there was no clear picture of the core of anxiety. This is also recognized by several professionals in the Netherlands and indeed some professionals like to call it a disease. That made me search for a profound answer, that nobody could refute. Until now it hasn't been refute. Really, I only receive very positive emails. The best solution must be based on a cause. I hope, you now understand my view on the professional approach. I'am they are all based on the best intentions. The most I reject is the distinction in anxiety. There is no distinction in the feeling, it's only the strength of the feeling. From embarrassment, supposedly have no sense to psychoses. The only differences are physical and in behavior. That's my conviction, with which I can live very happily and help others.

I wish you a very good new year.

Kind regards Jan Strik