Being Attractive Makes My SA Worse

[sam_hatter]

I'm a guy in my early 20's who has pretty much been shy/had social anxiety his whole life. As a kid I was incredibly awkward, with only a few really good friends that I could count on. I stayed the same throughout high school, and changed a bit when I hit college. I was still really awkward and shy in college, but the difference was that I actually made the effort to talk to some people because my few friends were all doing there own things. For the most part, I can function and talk to people without too much SA, except when someone tells me I'm good looking. Apparently, I've been a good looking guy for a while now. I've had a lot of girls hit on me/ask me out, but I've also avoided it because of my SA. I've even had guys tell me I'm a pretty good looking dude. Pretty much as soon as someone brings this up, my SA kicks in. I get so nervous and just shut down and avoid people. I start over-thinking everything and kinda go nuts. Can anyone else relate to this? Anyone have any solutions to this problem?

[Ponder]

Give it a little Time. I guarantee you, that you'll develope more complex issues as the wrinkles settle in.

Is it unwanted attention that is making you feel uncomfortable? You could make yourself less atractive by passing wind when greeting people, speaking in a girls voice and or just be tottaly obnoxious in an effort to turn others away.

[Dahila]

Mr. P you are being nasty;)), I am sorry but I spit my coffee reading your post. It is like I had read or hear what my son would say. He would tell OP exactly things like you had. Heeeeeeeeeeeee
Original poster I am sorry but I can not feel your pain, I could cast the "ugly spell" if you want, so your face could be covered in zits, wrinkles .................... would like that?
Completely s.........................d thread

You just looking for attention mr Hatter:))

[Ponder]

LOL - I'm so glad your here Dahila. I knew you would be. Thanks for the humour. I really needed it today. Have been struggling with noise, but you always have a way to remind me of what's more important. I hope you have a good time with your loved ones and some time to yourself over the next few weeks.

[Anne1221]

well, everyone gets nervous when they have attention focused on themselves. Even people without SA get awkward with compliments. Just don't let your nerves get the best of you and keep right on with the conversation.

[Ponder]

Most people are starving for attention these days; especially the worlds children. If its not loud enough or makes enough money, then it does not get attention, hence most people run about loudly banging thier drums and chasing the money.

[Breez]

Give it a little Time. I guarantee you, that you'll develop more complex issues as the wrinkles settle in.

Is it unwanted attention that is making you feel uncomfortable? You could make yourself less attractive by passing wind when greeting people, speaking in a girls voice and or just be totally obnoxious in an effort to turn others away.

I'm cracking up at your comment here.



I'm a guy in my early 20's who has pretty much been shy/had social anxiety his whole life. As a kid I was incredibly awkward, with only a few really good friends that I could count on. I stayed the same throughout high school, and changed a bit when I hit college. I was still really awkward and shy in college, but the difference was that I actually made the effort to talk to some people because my few friends were all doing there own things. For the most part, I can function and talk to people without too much SA, except when someone tells me I'm good looking. Apparently, I've been a good looking guy for a while now. I've had a lot of girls hit on me/ask me out, but I've also avoided it because of my SA. I've even had guys tell me I'm a pretty good looking dude. Pretty much as soon as someone brings this up, my SA kicks in. I get so nervous and just shut down and avoid people. I start over-thinking everything and kinda go nuts. Can anyone else relate to this? Anyone have any solutions to this problem?

I think perhaps you're not used to receiving compliments? If that's the case then here's something you could do: say "Thank you" to the people that compliment you. It'll keep you where you are, show people that you appreciate their comment, and help you continue with the conversation. A little "thank you" goes a long way for everybody.

In term of over-thinking, what kind of thoughts go through your mind and make you go nuts when someone compliments you? If it's positive feelings then embrace them and be happy. Best wishes.

[RoderickLariviere]

Its quite normal to get nervous when getting lot of attention, you need to come out in front of everyone to fight with your SA.
Just be normal, simply interact with everyone coming to you and make friends. CBT will help you with your SA.