Do I need some help

[Chicken]

Soo all day today I've been anxious about giving in 3 assignments that I hadn't finished. I mean, I guess thats pretty normal. What isnt that at one point I was almost in tears. I'm 16 and in college, I hadn't really been like this for a year. I've never really got any help for this and I'm not convinced if I should. I'm more scared of asking for help than anything. In the moment, I feel I can talk to who I want but thinking about doing it and then doing it is much harder. I've always never really thought that I was that special and needed special help from someone, I always felt that maybe I would be wasting there time because I always thought that there was nothing wrong with me but I do not want the feeling I had today again..

I realise that what I just said is really badly structured and may not make sense. I'm pretty much typing this like how I would say it.

Anyway, do I need help or am I just being a drama queen? :3

[cloudy black]

just know that you are worth it. this is your lack of self esteem that is getting the better of you. and lots of people struggle with this. having said this there is absolutely no shame stigma to getting help. you dont say whether you have on going problems with your academic studies. i can bet there are others in your class and year who are having similar difficulties. but it is pride and fear which stops us reaching out for help. and if you are naturally quiet it is harder to ask for help especially when the noisier individuals take up the attention of the tutor.

you certainly would not be wasting the tutors time indeed that is what they are there for. a little bit of insecurity if not faced becomes bigger as we go through life. it is a very sensible and responsible thing to get help when you do not understand and it makes it easier for the course work in the long run.

[Fahrenheit]

I think it is great that you are asking yourself this question now, and I encourage you to get help. You have the advantage that in college you have access to the campus health services, so you don't have to worry about insurance, etc. Like Cloudy said, you are worth it. Getting help is not weak, it is courageous. I have a lot of trouble with that, too. I tell myself that everyone else's issues are somehow more legitimate, and compare myself out of feeling like I am suffering ENOUGH to get help, and so I suffer silently. You aren't wasting anyones time, you are taking care of yourself and taking action.

Good luck and let us know how it works out!

[Chicken]

I emailed to my tutor and he said that he would get me some help with my work and guide me a little more so that im organised and check up on me weekly to see my progress. Also going to talk to the counsellor. I'm feeling much better knowing that i can get support and hearing back from people, although im still not completely ok with asking for help. Thank you everyone c:

[cloudy black]

well done and pat yourself on the back. ;) you are making progress! :D. yes it is hard to ask for help. but as you have seen it has made a big big positive outcome. what a brilliant high note to end the year on!!

[Fahrenheit]

good job. asking for help can be hard, but i think it is good for you to push through that resistance and/or shame/embarrassment because you are building a skill that will serve you your whole life. it is uncomfortable now, but you are doing your future self a favor. you may *feel* bad asking for help, but it really can't hurt you, and it can be a tremendous benefit. also, a lot of the work you will be doing with your counsellors is figuring out how to help yourself, so you are making a good investment! no one going to a personal trainer for physical health, and we should feel equally good about doing what it takes to support our mental health skills. so good job! i'm proud of you, because i now how hard it can be - i regret not asking for help myself when i have needed it, so you did what i was too scared to do!

good luck and keep us updated!

[Chicken]

So, I've started back at college and I feel perfectly fine. Well other than the odd worry over nothing. Actually before I start getting into all this I just want to say I hope no one minds If I use this as my own little outlet thing for my thoughts. Seeing people reply and take time out of their day to read all my problems kinda makes me feel happy C: so thank you.

Anyways, I'm going to start going to a counsellor and I would imagine I will just be talking a lot about random stuff because there is a lot in this world that I don't understand which is scary but also motivating. I have a whole mentality of wanting to know better than people, to prove them wrong even know they may be right... That might just be some sort of god complex... Just babbling on again.. My course is going super, I need to find some way of motivating myself to finish this course. I'm not exactly sure what I want to do with my life but I do know that with whatever it is I do, I want to help people!

The obvious thing is to be a doctor, but I'm not to motivated and I don't like that I can't focus on one thing, I have to know as much as possible.. At the moment I like the sound of being a doctor, the role seems to suit me in my head. I can picture myself sitting at my desk waiting for a new patient and the feeling I get when thinking about helping someone and seeing that they are grateful makes me feel valuable. Maybe this is just some sort of problem that I developed where I dont feel appreciated or maybe I enjoy making people happy, I don't really know..

For the moment I know that I want to get rid of my anxiety, to face my fears and just be like a confident person, then Ill focus on becoming better than a normal person... Not sure if that is a good mentality either.

I'm kinda worried about my future, jobs are more rare than they use to be (or so im told) so I want the best. Ideally, I want to be Professor, Dr, sir.------- who is also a famous musician and comedian..

Better stop rambling, if you can spare the time to read the thoughts of a teenager then you're pretty great, If you can reply to anything that I just said you must be amazing because I honestly wouldn't know what to say :3 Thank you!

[cloudy black]

Well done for seeing a counsellor if only I hadn’t been so proud and stubborn when I was your age. You sound like you are a deep thinker and that can make life more anxious but the trip side is that you get to have and experience interesting things. Babbling is good you have to start somewhere.

The main stream of life is far too dull for me suffocatingly so. We all need to be appreciated but life doesn’t always go like this. So for me it is about not loosing my focus on other peoples acceptance etc oh sure it makes the road less bumpy but its not realistic as an everyday experience. But don’t give your personal power away having people being a certain way can do that. The thing with people is that we are all struggling to get by in this world a lot of people are in denial about this. For me it was a pride issue which is what I had…

Anxiety is a tough thing to deal with and that is why it is very good that you are facing it now whilst you are young and not too much water under the bridge. I was in my mid twenties before I looked at it. And that is a good base to start off with the counsellor they will be able to support and guide you with your anxiety issue

Don’t worry about what you need to say. We will listen to you on here. I have respect for you for tackling this now. Life is tough and that is the bottom line. But we can get help and support along the way. So don’t do this alone my friend.

[Fahrenheit]

I second everything that cloudy said.

You have definitely shown a lot of self-awareness in your posts - I see that because you are not only wondering what you want to do in the future, but WHY you want to do it, and then questioning your own self-assesment of why. When you are the type of person to think that way, it can be anxiety-provoking, BUT I also think it is really valuable, because, in the end, you need to understand yourself and what ACTUALLY motivates you in the day to day, and that tend to be a convoluted mix of things. Like, I feel you are probably right that you DO truly want to help people for the sake of helping people, but it is equally true that you want their approval for helping you. Those things co-exist in most of us, and that is fine. The trick is in not becoming dependent on other peoples approval, but also accepting that you want it, and that as social beings we all need it, to some degree. Owning that and being honest about it, and using it to be more authentic rather than deceptive is where you make it either a strength or a weakness. And you are going to do better some days and fail miserable on others. Yay! :/

As for wanting to face your fears and just become a normal confident person, and THEN work on being better than normal...I would say that is a sound strategy. I don't think normal really exists, but I do think when you are struggling with mental health, just the basic things take a herculean effort. And it is okay to give yourself the permission to just work on being OKAY, when you are at a place where OKAY takes all the courage you have. Because that emotional work and effort with serve you towards being more than okay when the time come where you can do that. And, honestly, most people are in the same boat...just trying to get by day to day, and at the very least not be an asshole, and when possible, be helpful. The skills you develop to help yourself, you can use to help others. That is how I try to get myself through my own shit, anyway. ;)

Feel free to keep talking to us hear! I think it is great you are doing this work now, I didn't have the courage to put myself out there when I was your age. I am happy to listen and to lend my thoughts! Mostly, it is nice to know we are all trying to help ourselves and help each other, and that we don't have to be as alone as we feel!