Anxiety disorder and having a girlfriend

[FenwayFaithful2004]

I sometimes feel that my anxiety disorder prevents me from having a real girlfriend. I was also told this by my savedbythebellhorn friends. Has anyone else with a anxiety disorder felt that way?

[gadguy]

I sometimes feel that my anxiety disorder prevents me from having a real girlfriend. I was also told this by my savedbythebellhorn friends. Has anyone else with a anxiety disorder felt that way?

YES......I sabotage my relationships in order to get out of them because of anxiety...I now recognize the problem and doing my best to overcome it. You are not alone in doing this and you have to learn that you are worthy of a relationship. Good luck.

[FenwayFaithful2004]

YES......I sabotage my relationships in order to get out of them because of anxiety...I now recognize the problem and doing my best to overcome it. You are not alone in doing this and you have to learn that you are worthy of a relationship. Good luck.

What are you doing to overcome this? Its gotten so bad for me that the last few years I just made up a imaginary gf and tell my friends she lives 'out of town'.

[gadguy]

What are you doing to overcome this? Its gotten so bad for me that the last few years I just made up a imaginary gf and tell my friends she lives 'out of town'.

What I have done, let me preface this by saying I had taken myself out of the dating game for about 12 years after a bad relationship( found out she was using me and cheating on me). Thought of myself unworthy. A couple of years ago out of loneliness I tried again. First I did a self evaluation....I'm not bad looking(granted I want win any prizes, but I want scare anybody either) Look younger than most men my age, in pretty good shape for a man my age, have a good job, great sense of humor, nice home, great dancer, educated and well read....heck I'm a catch. So I started dating again, but I enlisted the help of a dating service. At my age, almost the pool of eligible women is limited. I have been on several since...in most cases I just did not click with women I had met and they did not click with me....just nothing in common. I would be lieing to you if I said my anxiety has not gotten the best of me on a couple of occasions. One met nice woman about my age...I was upfront with her about my anxiety and also told her I had very little experience in dating/relationships because of it and I wanted to take things slow..she agreed...however I kept feeling pressured to move faster in the relationship and we mutually broke it off agreeing that she was a bit to wild for me..it was anxiety holding me back...I was afraid that of experience with relationships, both physical/emotional/romantically would be an embarrassment, The other, which is what sent me back to this site for the first time in years...She was great...however she had 3 grown children...who were nothing but drama...it just got to be to much for me...I had a major anxiety attack..lasted about a week. At the time for my own sanity I called it off.

Needless to say I have not been exactly successful with dating...but I keep trying.


The imaginary GF...I Have a picture in my house, that has an attractive woman and baby in it...the pic came with the frame, I joke-ling refer too it as my wife and child...It been a bit of a running joke. I recently removed it.

I don't know if any of this helps or your age but really all we can do is accept ourselves, love ourselves and really be honest with ourselves...don't let your anxiety cloud how you see yourself...and get out there and try....if we fail we fail and try again...drop the fake GF...be honest...the Fake GF makes you unavailable...there is no shame in being single...I have at least a half a dozen friends who would trade places with me.

[Enduronman]

I haven't been "Single" since I was 12 years old! I was married 3 times, and all of them failed. Needless to say, I am SO SO happy and glad that they all did! LOL!!!

I have enjoyed the real peace, and quiet of not having someone around blaming me, accusing me, hounding me, yelling at me, and I only deserved about 20% of it all anyway so I am loving it!

The last time that I even spoke to my last wife, all she did was yell at me about nothing and told me that she didn't want a letter I wrote to her. (A 3 HOUR WASTE OF MY LIFE)...So, I just flipped the switch, and deleted all memories of her with the exception of ALL the stupid shit that she did almost constantly.

There is a woman out there, for every man. Period. Regardless of anxiety, disease, war, famine, plague, all of it is irrelevant.

When the time is right, the moment, the place, the situation, the event, you WILL meet a woman that accepts YOU for who YOU are. Period.

Have a great day!

E-Man :)

[Enduronman]

And be sure that you're cranking up the right tunes too on some Altec Lansings or Harmin Kardins full blast..If she comes into the corner, or closet, she's the one!!! :)

(or a couple of sets of Bose Acoustamass series 6's work well too)...LOL!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7q2bNqe0Xyk&index=4&list=RDKaLbCivhO-8

[Raaawr]

Depends in your anxiety I guess. I've been with my girlfriend 4 years now. For the first 2 years she didn't know about it. Most likely because I myself had forgotten about it. Not sure why or how it went but for many years I was anxiety free. It came back with a bang 2 years ago.

Anyway it was tough on the relationship. I'm not sure she had ever seen a panic attack before. She saw me panic, cry and scream in rage at everyone in sheer frustration. For about 3 months I'd wake her up nearly every night with my pacing and panicking. Slowly but surely I managed to get a better hold on things and the panic attacks became more controlled.

Now my anxiety is just a small thing to her. She knows it's there but it's not as extreme as it once was. Those three months were tough on her and it's only recently she explained how tough. I feel bad about it but at the same time it brought us closer together. We were never in danger of breaking up but it was a strain.

I don't think it's something you can let show too early with some people. But overall I don't think it's that big of a deal.

[Im-Suffering]

No no no no.

What you all are experiencing is the physical manifestation of your beliefs, about the world, yourself, and your place in it.

Relationships mirror those ideas, so you get to flesh them out. And so relationships are your greatest tool for getting to know yourselves, and healing those false ideas about you. If you don't like your experience, than it is your own beliefs you must examine. You are having these experiences to learn that you create your own reality. And to recognize, to realize, your lives are created by what you believe.

Shattering these ideas is the beginning of enlightenment, as you realize your truths are not truth at all, but only one version reality can take, among a myriad of possibilities. Beliefs are the individuality, and make up the characteristics of the human. Beliefs are learned, you see, and not an inherent truth within life itself. Beliefs are meant to seem so real as to entrance you into thinking life operates against your will, or that life is chance, or has a 'life' of its own, where you are merely a puppet. This is the blight of the land, and the catalyst for self growth and edification. Another words, by first hand experience of the material world as events and experiences, you get to see the contents of your own minds that create it.

And, learn how to make a decision. 'I will', 'I am', 'I'm going to' and burn all bridges of escape. Move forward until it's attainment. Teach yourselves that.. you can.. direct your lives. Sort out in your minds why your decisions are wishy washy, why you don't deserve, period.

There is much more here but I will let you all figure that out as you go, if you choose to look at yourselves in the mirror, if not, well than these words will be meaningless anyway.

[FenwayFaithful2004]

Depends in your anxiety I guess. I've been with my girlfriend 4 years now. For the first 2 years she didn't know about it. Most likely because I myself had forgotten about it. Not sure why or how it went but for many years I was anxiety free. It came back with a bang 2 years ago.

Anyway it was tough on the relationship. I'm not sure she had ever seen a panic attack before. She saw me panic, cry and scream in rage at everyone in sheer frustration. For about 3 months I'd wake her up nearly every night with my pacing and panicking. Slowly but surely I managed to get a better hold on things and the panic attacks became more controlled.

Now my anxiety is just a small thing to her. She knows it's there but it's not as extreme as it once was. Those three months were tough on her and it's only recently she explained how tough. I feel bad about it but at the same time it brought us closer together. We were never in danger of breaking up but it was a strain.

I don't think it's something you can let show too early with some people. But overall I don't think it's that big of a deal.



I'm trying to identify my anxiety disorder not sure if my need to make up a imaginary gf is a telltale for a certain type of anxiety?

Speaking of symptoms and panic attacks I also had one a few months ago because I told my friends I was going to fenway to watch a redsox game with my gf... I even posted two grandstand tickets I found online and one big papi bobblehead. I freaked out when one of my friends asked me where the other bobblehead was..I think they are on to me :confused:

[Andyw88]

i too had the same thoughts as you, i had and still have major health anxiety and i have a speech impediment,but i found a girlfriend and have been living together for 9 months now,i never thought i could leave the comfort of my parents being there for me,however my girlfriend who has had her problems in the past is there for me always and is very supportive, people say there is someone for everyone and you just think pfftt whatever as i did,but there really is, remember anxiety isnt you its just something your going through,anxiety helped me find the "right" girl one who loves you for you, good luck my friend! you will get what your looking for im sure of it

[Kixxi]

I sometimes feel that my anxiety disorder prevents me from having a real girlfriend. I was also told this by my savedbythebellhorn friends. Has anyone else with a anxiety disorder felt that way?

I had agoraphobia before I met my fiancé. Before that, I felt the same way. However, I did meet him online because I could not go out because of my anxiety. That being said, I did make my way to England from Belgium and moved to an entire different country, so it helped my anxiety in one way. He's been supportive and understanding. Having this type of condition immediately tells you what kind of person you are with.

Don't worry. There is a perfect match out there for you.

[FenwayFaithful2004]

Hi guys I just wanted to thank you all for your advice. I have finally decided to get rid of the imaginary girl friend.

I'm also going to stop pretending to like eminiem since I'm starting to realize I was just doing that to act tough.