Starting CBT Tomorrow

[Kixxi]

Hi Everyone,

I have five minutes to quickly give you an update on how I'm doing. I've been improving considerably lately. I still have some problems and severe symptoms, but I can go out despite these feelings.
Tomorrow I am starting CBT therapy, with high hopes of course ;) I am anxious, exited, hopeful and fearful all at the same time. I'm not scared of the therapy that's coming, only scared because I have to take the bus back haha. Anyway, I'll keep you up to date on how I'm doing.

Also, I have started to go to school again. I decided not to let this condition stop by life any longer. My study choice may surprise you, but I am getting my degree in clinical psychology. With the help of CBT, my family and my studies, I am sure I can get over this and help people get over their agoraphobia, depression or generalised anxiety disorder. I will keep on coming on here and share what I learn, maybe it can benefit one of my friends here. If I can help only one of you, I will have made an impact on this world <3

Good luck everyone,
Sandra

[Im-Suffering]

Good to see you.

You can live any life that you can dream of. One day during your psychology class it will click with you, that you have been dreaming up your anxiety for quite some time (including most of the little details) using your imagination to create your reality. This will be invaluable information going forward as you endeavor to help others.

Chow for now Sandy

[Kixxi]

Well, my first session went GREAT! Right afterwards, I went to two stores, including one big supermarket (ASDA). A shop I did not step one foot into for the past three years because I was to scared. I also went into another store to charge our bus cards. Then I walked on the side-walk on one of the busiest shopping streets in outer London and grabbed a packed bus with school kids going home. If this is the result I get from one session, I cannot wait to see what the full three month term will do.

Hope this gives people hope to make the step towards CBT therapy or getting some help for their agoraphobia. So far, mine is working and I have a good feeling this will actually cure me.

[cloudy black]

hello Kixxi well done to you! i read a book once called, feel the fear and do it anyway. cant think who it's by now... Psychology is good as you will have experienced what it is like to struggle. keep on keeping on!!

[Kixxi]

hello Kixxi well done to you! i read a book once called, feel the fear and do it anyway. cant think who it's by now... Psychology is good as you will have experienced what it is like to struggle. keep on keeping on!!

Thanks for the encouragement. I hope the therapy keeps on working as well as it did the last time lol :) I'll keep you all up to date.

Also, something that really made something click in my brain was the following (maybe it will help someone here)
My therapist said that I was not necessarily afraid of anything outside the home, I am focussing so much on what is happening in my body when I go out because I fear the panic. By doing so, I also magnify normal body sensations (such as sweating during a hot day or shaking because of the cold) and turn it into a panic attack.

Something to think about... Sometimes we turn normal body sensations into panic. This is what struck me the most and enabled me to do these things...

[MiST]

CBT is cool. Good luck with it..:)

[Kixxi]

CBT is cool. Good luck with it..:)

I'm surprised it is actually working. I've heard so many people talking about it and saying it did not cure their anxiety. Yet I am on my first week and 70% of my anxiety is down. Let's see if week 2 goes that great as well :)

[cloudy black]

so good that the anxiety level is down but you need to be vigilant. oh and keep doing your CBT homework! and also talk to your friends about it as well outside of GAD. its so good to have a network of friends.:D we are all routing for ya!X

[cloudy black]

how is it going Kixxi? i do hope you are doing ok

[Kixxi]

how is it going Kixxi? i do hope you are doing ok

Hi Cloudy, thought I quickly post an update before my third session tomorrow.
My therapist and myself have uncovered the underlying cause of my agoraphobia in two sessions, based on a reoccurring answer lol. Apparently I am terrified of fainting or the possibility of fainting. For some reason, fainting at home scares me less, probably because there are less people around so less embarrassment.

This week I have been trying to face my fear of fainting and I must admit that my anxiety has gone down considerably. However, I am struggling with a bit of a depression. No idea if the therapy has anything to do with it, considering it has confronted a lot of hard things for me and I have to go every week. High intensity therapy can be hard, but I plan on sticking it out considering the results I been getting from it.

Anyway, session number 3 tomorrow, so I'll make sure I'll check about the depression symptoms and how to deal with my anxiety further. I'll keep you all up to date :)

[cloudy black]

well done Kixxi keep on with this. you are doing really well.

[Kixxi]

well done Kixxi keep on with this. you are doing really well.

Thanks cloudy, you've been great ;) Going in an hour, feeling the anticipation anxiety bubbling up, but will just let it happen and keep going haha :) Btw love the signature :D

[Kixxi]

Okay quick update.

Done the following in the past week:

- Pharmacy
- Full supermarket shop the day before Christmas
- Walking alone down the street
- Walking to the postbox
- Going to therapy alone
- Walking in a busy shopping street
- Small corner shop
- etc... etc...

The therapy seems to be working. The more I learn and the more exposure I do, the easier it's getting :)

[amers85]

CBT has helped me out tremendously, good luck!

[cloudy black]

Okay quick update.

Done the following in the past week:

- Pharmacy
- Full supermarket shop the day before Christmas
- Walking alone down the street
- Walking to the postbox
- Going to therapy alone
- Walking in a busy shopping street
- Small corner shop
- etc... etc...

The therapy seems to be working. The more I learn and the more exposure I do, the easier it's getting :)

well that is amazing i hate shopping at christmas so you are doing very well and all the other things. its all the little things that add to a better picture. so keep painting!! Happy New Year To You!!

[Kixxi]

Okay, just a quick update today as I had a minor problem. :) Had a few sessions on CBT and can handle most places quite well. However, today we were heading to the cinema to see the new Star Wars film. I was feeling okay until we hit the line for snacks and drinks. I had three major panics, and each time I had to leave. Eventually I went back in and sat through the film, not without problems I might add. Feeling a bit down at the moment because I was doing so well and then suddenly had such an intensive panic attack it felt like day one again. I'm trying to realise it is just a minor setback and this behaviour takes a while to unlearn. Well, will have plenty to discuss with my CBT therapist on Tuesday.

Did anyone else suffer relapses during their CBT therapy?

[cloudy black]

well thats to be expected in fact its normal. the fact that you are doing so well means that you are receptive to CBT. well done for going back in.that if anything is what it is all about. keep getting back on that horse. and yes regarding the panic attack dont forget you have had these for a while and so its going to take patience and kindness to yourself it is a kind of self parenting to yourself (which is what i need to do at the mo..) you're doing very well indeed :D

[Kixxi]

well thats to be expected in fact its normal. the fact that you are doing so well means that you are receptive to CBT. well done for going back in.that if anything is what it is all about. keep getting back on that horse. and yes regarding the panic attack dont forget you have had these for a while and so its going to take patience and kindness to yourself it is a kind of self parenting to yourself (which is what i need to do at the mo..) you're doing very well indeed :D

Thanks for the support Cloudy ;) Went back to CBT today, had quite the panic attack but did it nonetheless. :) Also had to take the bus back, so that's quite a victory on its own.

[cloudy black]

you are not letting it beat you and that is to be applauded because that is what will get you through. each time you have a victory you will get stronger and sure you will have set backs. throughout my life i have put into place coping mechanisms. one of which is this using https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFwkeOyYV1I as a support for myself. what i have found is that i have had to work at it to keep on keeping on. and so i have found that it is good to build my own personal arsenal of stuff that gets me through the tough times.

think of a Swan and how graceful they appear on the water it seems like no effort. when in fact have you ever noticed their feet working like mad. and if you transfer that to the world of people, a lot of people seem to just be "going through life gracefully" but i bet their feet are working hard in the background!!

[Kixxi]

you are not letting it beat you and that is to be applauded because that is what will get you through. each time you have a victory you will get stronger and sure you will have set backs. throughout my life i have put into place coping mechanisms. one of which is this using https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFwkeOyYV1I as a support for myself. what i have found is that i have had to work at it to keep on keeping on. and so i have found that it is good to build my own personal arsenal of stuff that gets me through the tough times.

think of a Swan and how graceful they appear on the water it seems like no effort. when in fact have you ever noticed their feet working like mad. and if you transfer that to the world of people, a lot of people seem to just be "going through life gracefully" but i bet their feet are working hard in the background!!

Thanks for the link. I'll have a look at it during work today :) It makes me feel a little better, since I felt like a failure after that cinema trip. However, now I realise that it was actually quite a victory, no matter how uncomfortable I felt at the time...

[philknightlife]

Best of luck! CBT is definitely the way to go.

[JenXO]

I was suffering from PTSD and I had a nervous breakdown 2 years ago however I recovered in under a year from CBT. And do give us an update on your condition. I think it takes a lot of courage to open up.

[Kixxi]

I was suffering from PTSD and I had a nervous breakdown 2 years ago however I recovered in under a year from CBT. And do give us an update on your condition. I think it takes a lot of courage to open up.

Hi Jen, thanks for sharing. Somehow it makes me feel better to realise other people have gone through CBT and they recovered with it. I'm hoping it will do the same for me in the long run.

Also a little update this week:

I've been feeling a little less anxious, even though it has been a real stressful week. My psychologist gave me breathing exercises to cope with my constant hyperventilating. These exercises I need to do two times a day for ten minutes (which I have been doing). I've also left the house on a daily basis and went for a short walk. The walks are becoming a little easier every time.

The only real thing I'm struggling with at the moment is the famous anticipation anxiety. I am already thinking about Tuesday, the route I have to take and the things that could go wrong along the way. I'm already imagining myself having a panic attack on route or at the psychologist office. I know it is the wrong thing to do, but I can't seem to get my mind of it. Still, the more you try the fight the thoughts, the more they come back. So I'll try dealing with them instead. Any suggestions?