stuck worrying about work instead of actually doing something about it

[Laibey]

hi everyone

I just wonder if anyone can relate to this. I get worried about work. I worry I'm not up to scratch. Well, I know I'm not. I think a 'normal' person might just logically think: OK I don't feel too confident about x (task, tool, whatever) because it's new to me, so I'll learn more about it to feel more confident and competent and then I'll feel better about myself and less worried about performance at work. But me, I just get totally worried about x because I can't do it, then just thinking about it makes me nervous because if I look at it all this panic about my own stupidity comes up, so I avoid it, so the more I avoid it the less I learn about it and the worse I feel and so it goes round in a vicious cycle. I now what I should do it grit my teeth and focus on it and spend some time getting to grips with it then the anxiety should subside. But the enourmit of doing that is too much. Like right now I'd rather post on the forum than deal with the problem and go through the horrible panic.

I can't really get any help from colleagues because.....well just believe me it's not that sort of vibe at work. Also my manager is useless as a source of advice/support (I've tried) and she makes my panic much worse.

I just wondered if anyone else has this problem so I won't feel i'm the only one....?

[NixonRulz]

You certainly aren't the only one and since work can be stressful, anxiety loves to poke its head in your business and make you nuts

Years ago when I finally moved up the food chain at work, one of the things I had to quarterly was give financial reports in front of about 75 people The anxiety leading up to that day was brutal and it was all I could focus on. Good that I got past my anxiety issues since I still have to do the same thing quarterly, but it is with a group of up to 5,000 since I switched companies

If this helps, I am glad that it did. Here is the problem.......

You have anxiety and panic and right now and work is the thing that causes your symptoms. The problem arises when you get comfortable enough at work or feel reassured enough that the anxiety ceases. That all seems great but the anxiety itself was never addressed So since you aren't anxious about work, anxiety will seek and absolutely find something else for you to get insecure and nervous about

It is the anxiety Not work, Not a spouse or the dog or that annoying Kanye West. Becasue for some, these are their triggers and if you focus on the trigger, you can never actually heal the anxiety, which is the damn thing causing all of the problems!

[Nowuccas]

Hey Laibey,

There are some techniques which may help, and if you are in a position to, I suggest having up to 6 months of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy; Google "clinical psychologists, CBT, (your location):

Advice from a clinical psychologist about panic attacks is to breathe in to the count of 3: ( count: one thousand one; one thousand two; one thousand three) each takes around a second to say to yourself, in your mind, and out to the count of 3. Keep repeating this until the panic subsides, (up to 25 minutes) which will deal with the hyperventilation aspect. Learn to recognise the thoughts which trigger attacks; challenge and reprogram as shown.

Give the Meridian Tapping Technique / EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. It is free via the searchbar at mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists" or tapping.com (13 free videos), or eftuniverse.com or emofree.com or one of the many YouTube videos. Google: "YouTube; EFT videos".
Professionally instructed is generally preferable. - There is a version for use in public places at eft.mercola.com (if you like, you can claim to have a headache, as you employ the acupressure massage / tapping on your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I suffer from panic and anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself)."

Also give Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) as shown at drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html a good tryout, and use whichever works best for you.

Learn and use the Technique for Reprogramming Negative Thoughts: It's important to regularly monitor, and deal with a negative internal monologue (self talk), or mental process, such as disturbing thoughts, images, impulses, or emotions, by the process of (a): recognising it, and (b): challenging it immediately. Technique For Re-Programming Negative Thoughts: When you notice something negative, such as: "I can't do this/ am never going to get over this!" or: "Why am I always so useless/such a loser?" or even an image, emotion, or a memory; recognise that it is being generated from the negative part of your mind.

After identifying and labelling it, visualise a large, red, flashing, "STOP!" sign, and/or possibly a stern faced person wagging an index finger at you in a negative manner, then say to yourself as forcefully as you can, even aloud in a big voice, if alone: "I know this tactic: GO AWAY FOR A WHILE !!!" You may want to use either: "ruse", "ploy", "game", or "trick". In the case of an image, visualise a large "STOP" sign, or your preferred version.

Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Remember to remove it, afterwards, if you use this method. Try replacing a negative thought with a positive affirmation of your choice, like: "I am a unique individual, with my own set of skills, and good points", or "I may not be perfect, but I'm doing the best I can, right now".

Limit "worrying time" to 30 - 45 mns, daily, possibly when you get home, or after your evening meal, but not too close to bedtime, after which, resolve firmly to refuse to worry again on that day. Understand that to do otherwise would be counterproductive to your mental health, and enjoyment of life. Having had your "worry time" for the day, you can just write down any more thoughts that come to mind, and say to yourself: "Well, I'll just have to worry about that tomorrow, won't I?".

I hope some of the above proves useful.

[Fahrenheit]

I feel you there. When I was experiencing a lot of persistent anxiety a few years ago, it would latch on to anything and everything, and of course work is a cornucopia of stressors. I found my anxiety make it hard to focus, and I was so worried about my anxiety affecting my work that it became a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. I understood the cyclical nature of the problem, but it a way, my being able to understand it made me more anxious and therefore fueled the cycle.

I am also sorry that it sounds like you don't have a supportive workplace. Try to be patient with yourself, and give yourself time. Like you said, you are not going to know how to do everything perfectly right off the bat, so be kind to yourself and give yourself room to grow. Try to break down the task into smaller parts, and tackle each on at a time. Give yourself permission to do a quick meditation before you confront the task (just a few deep breaths, if you can) and then commit to working on it without distraction for 10 minutes, give yourself a 5 minute break, then another 10 minutes. You can come up with your own intervals, obviously, and I would recommend that as you become gradually more comfortable with the task, to increase the amount of time you are facing the challenge. Also, the 10 minutes you are facing the challenge could even be, to start, just starting at the document (or whatever it is) and trying to come up with a plan of action or muster the courage to start. After a while, hopefully you will have built your ability to sit in the fear enough to make a stab at it.

Also, this article might has good tips for your exact issue. I cannot most links yet, but it is called You Need Help:Sucking Less at Your Job. I hope it helps, and realize you are NOT ALONE!

Be kind to yourself. ;)

[Anne1221]

It's funny...the "normal" people at work don't worry about every little thing, that's true. But what I have found in my jobs is that me, the worrier, always did a better job and more thorough job in the long run. I think it's very likely that you are up to scratch. Tell yourself, "I'm going to do my best" and then let it go.

[Dahila]

I worry so much, that I already lost two good jobs. Instead of thinking on job , I am worrying. By the other hand I do not want to be like "normal" people, talk stupid, unimportant things, wasting their time, then when I ask they have no ide hwo is the prime minister of country, tragic