Am I Crazy?

[boeing256]

Hi all.

As I write this note I'm currently laying in bed sleepless yet again. Firstly, I hope each of you enjoyed the Thanksgiving Holiday with your family and friends. Recently (July) I took a new job out of my home state (Florida) to Atlanta. I'm 20 years old, so to me at first I was gung-ho on getting out and starting the journey we call life. As any 20 something would, I found great excitement in my new job, big city atmosphere and kept busy exploring places. The first few months were great, but as the time passed I've become lonely. I went to the local animals shelter and adopted a dog, which was a godsend. He's awesome, and keeps me busy. Somehow, the darkness and loneliness has still left me in a slump. I now worry constantly about my health, my family, and really anything. I've been suffering from sleepless nights where I just can't turn my brain off, heart palpitations, and stress. It's really put me in a hole. I'm home in Florida till Sunday, and it's been really great. Seeing friends, and family has really helped. I still find that at the end of each night I come home and worry. Last night I was tired around 11, so I went off to bed. I laid thier looking at the ceiling started worrying, and had a panic attack. I guess my question is, am I crazy? What's going on? I thank you for taking the time to read this, but it makes me a feel a bit better to know that there is a support system for anxiety, and depression.

[NixonRulz]

If you are crazy, I suppose everyone in here is just as nuts

Worrying to a point where it spills over to a panic attack is just normal for people with anxiety

Keep in mind that with anxiety, you are usually worrying about something. When you stop worrying about one thing, another thing begins

Begin to treat and deal with the anxiety, all of your concerns will begin to ease

[Anne1221]

You're not crazy, you just have anxiety like so many others. The next step is to figure out how to get control of it, rather than it having control over you. Keep reading this forum and you'll learn how others cope. Some get therapy and medication, some find meditation helpful, etc.

[Fahrenheit]

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Not at all! I went through something very similar when I moved to a new city, new job, etc. in my early 20's. It took me a couple YEARS to really find my footing, and the first year was really rough, I rarely slept well, severe insomnia, anxiety/depression/loneliness/insecurity, so please know that you are NOT ALONE.

First of all, try to be as kind and patient with yourself as you can. Second of all, recognize that humans are social animals, and we need emotional connection just like we need water, food, etc. Making friends as an adult is HARD (it was hard for me as a kid, too ;) ) so be patient with the process. What is hard about a move like that is you are dealing with a lot of stress AT THE SAME TIME as you are dealing with not having that social support network you had in Florida. I recommend trying to balance putting yourself out there with self-care and learning to enjoy your own company. It needs to be both, you cannot thrive if you are isolated OR if you are contantly on-the-go and surrounded by others. Deep, sustaining relationships in particular take time.

But remember, you have friends at home, so you know you are socially capable and worthy of love. It will happen, so be patient! Also, feel free to lean on the friends you have in Florida while you set down roots in your new city. Maybe schedule a weekly Skype with a close friend? If you are having trouble sleeping, doing it before bed might help you ease the anxiety and help you get more/better sleep.

Out of curiosity, do you identify as an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?

We are always here if you just need someone to listen, or want advice, or just assurance that you are not alone. Feel free to PM me anytime if you just want to chat as well.

I hope you get better, and find a way to get sleep. I can say from first hand experience that insomnia and anxiety go together (vicious cycle) and then finding a way to get some shut eye helps to manage the negative feelings.

Good luck! Please keep us posted.

[Dahila]

If you are crazy, I suppose everyone in here is just as nuts

Worrying to a point where it spills over to a panic attack is just normal for people with anxiety

Keep in mind that with anxiety, you are usually worrying about something. When you stop worrying about one thing, another thing begins

Nixon is right. It is anxiety young

Begin to treat and deal with the anxiety, all of your concerns will begin to ease

Nixon is right. It is anxiety young woman/ man.............the dog will help you too, honestly they do chase away loneliness,

[boeing256]

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. Not at all! I went through something very similar when I moved to a new city, new job, etc. in my early 20's. It took me a couple YEARS to really find my footing, and the first year was really rough, I rarely slept well, severe insomnia, anxiety/depression/loneliness/insecurity, so please know that you are NOT ALONE.

First of all, try to be as kind and patient with yourself as you can. Second of all, recognize that humans are social animals, and we need emotional connection just like we need water, food, etc. Making friends as an adult is HARD (it was hard for me as a kid, too ;) ) so be patient with the process. What is hard about a move like that is you are dealing with a lot of stress AT THE SAME TIME as you are dealing with not having that social support network you had in Florida. I recommend trying to balance putting yourself out there with self-care and learning to enjoy your own company. It needs to be both, you cannot thrive if you are isolated OR if you are contantly on-the-go and surrounded by others. Deep, sustaining relationships in particular take time.

But remember, you have friends at home, so you know you are socially capable and worthy of love. It will happen, so be patient! Also, feel free to lean on the friends you have in Florida while you set down roots in your new city. Maybe schedule a weekly Skype with a close friend? If you are having trouble sleeping, doing it before bed might help you ease the anxiety and help you get more/better sleep.

Out of curiosity, do you identify as an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?

We are always here if you just need someone to listen, or want advice, or just assurance that you are not alone. Feel free to PM me anytime if you just want to chat as well.

I hope you get better, and find a way to get sleep. I can say from first hand experience that insomnia and anxiety go together (vicious cycle) and then finding a way to get some shut eye helps to manage the negative feelings.

Good luck! Please keep us posted.

Thank you all for your kind and reassuring words. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. Anxiety seems to run in my family, so I guess it's just my turn to deal. I am an extroverted type person, and like I said it's hard for me to stay still.

[Fahrenheit]

Thank you all for your kind and reassuring words. It's good to know that I'm not alone in this struggle. Anxiety seems to run in my family, so I guess it's just my turn to deal. I am an extroverted type person, and like I said it's hard for me to stay still.

No problem. One of the things I kept telling myself when my anxiety was at it's worse, was that someday I would be able to use my pain to help others! So I'm always glad to do what I can. I have only been on this forum for a while, but I find it is a very supportive community.

I have a couple more thoughts.

You mentioned the darkness in your first post. Coming from Florida, do you think the different weather could be having an affect? You might want to look into SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) - I don't suffer from it, but a lot of people do.

It is unfortunate that your family has a history of anxiety, BUT it also means that they can be a support system for you. They already have some understanding of what you are going through. It sounds like you have a good relationship with them, since you enjoyed being home for the holidays. Have you mentioned your anxiety to them?

I am an introvert, so one of the things I had to do to cope with my loneliness and anxiety was force myself to socialize even when I wanted to crawl into a ball and hide away. ;) I can't speak directly to an extroverted experience, but my initial thoughts are 1) You have the benefit of being naturally outgoing (maybe? extroversion doesn't always equal social ease) so I think you can try to draw on that personal skill. It can be harder to tap into that when anxious, but remember, those parts of yourself are still there somewhere even when you are anxious! I find one of the hardest things about severe anxiety is that you feel alienated from yourself. But you still have those qualities, even it they feel distant. It takes time and work to get back to them. 2) You may or may not benefit from working on learning how to enjoy being alone. Like I said, it really is a balance between meeting your social needs, and finding out how to enjoy solitude. As an introvert, the former was my biggest challenge. It might be the opposite for you?

Also, just remember that your 20's are a difficult time in your life, and that is okay. It is okay to feel scared and alone sometimes. You are still developing and learning who you are, and there is a lot of pressure to perform at work and to figure out your 'future.' It takes time. I feel like there is a lot of pressure (or we put pressure on yourselves) that the 20's are supposed to be the best years of our lives. I think in some ways that is true, but I think the opposite is equally true. So be patient with your pain and don't add a sense of guilt or failure to it, just because you are not 100% happy and gun-ho and hopeful all the time about everything. Neurologically, the 20's are one of the most rapid periods of growth in your brain - it is sort of like a 2nd adolescence. So a certain amount of turmoil is maybe normal? At least, that is what I told myself. ;) Also, recent studies have shown that people actually get happier as they age (i.e. in your senior years) so all our cultural notions about youth being the best time in your life are maybe misguided. I personally think that different life periods offer different things. Your 20's are about challenge and discovery and uncertainty and emotional intensity (both positive and negative). I think in your senior years, you have largely learned who you are and come to terms with who you are, warts and all, and there must be a certain peace and joy in that!

Haha, sorry, I enjoy reading neuroscience-y and psychology stuff, so I may have gone on a bit of a tangent there. Hope you find some peace in the moment. I find meditation helps me, especially if you can find a local group that meets weekly. I find the idea of 'equanimity' useful, because it doesn't have the expectation that you should eliminate pain, but suggests that there is a way to sit WITH the pain in a calm way. It is a bit difficult to wrap your head around (sit calmly with your anxiety? HUH?) but I think there is something to it, and it is a skill that can be build over time. It is tough work, but helpful!

Alright, I have had too much coffee, so I am really wordy. ;) Signing off, now.

[Im-Suffering]

Beautiful post Fahrenheit. In word and feeling :)

[MiST]

It's good to be a little crazy, it stops the carrots from eating your toes..:D

[RoderickLariviere]

You have anxiety symptoms that can be controlled by medication and therapy.. Consult with a specialist or GP to start taking medicines to control your anxiety..

[MiST]

You have anxiety symptoms that can be controlled by medication and therapy.. Consult with a specialist or GP to start taking medicines to control your anxiety..

Medicines can help in the beginning, but they are no good in the long term. All you need is to realise that your anxiety state is a perfectly normal and healthy response to elevated adrenaline levels caused by extended periods of stress and or worry.

Realising that your symptoms, while unpleasant, are only temporary and can do you no real harm can sometimes be enough to set someone on the road to recovery.

Accept your current anxious body, try not to be to concerned with it, and allow time to heal you. It took your body a while to get this way, give it time to fix itself.

Don't rely on medicines otherwise you will forever be dependant on that crutch.

[The Intolerable Kid]

You're no crazier than anyone else. Limit anything that is a stimulant (tobacco, coffee, etc) to the morning and take things like night time tea, valerian root, liquid melatonin (just examples from my own regimen) at night. Try to keep your thoughts in the present moment, you're safe at home in bed. If that doesn't work try to focus on something pleasant from your past.
Excellent move getting a dog, by the way, I love my dogs. Cuddling with my dog on the couch is one of the best anti-stress measures I have.

[Robert Tressell]

I still get separation anxiety after 30 years of travel ( hotels etc ) with jobs, especially if i'm anxious - I miss my wife and family so bad it physically hurts sometimes.
Perhaps your feelings are rooted in leaving home so young?
I'm sure your confidence will see you through and once you make friends and build your life these feelings will pass, especially if you look after yourself well.
Best of British luck my friend!