I Spent Thanksgiving Day ALL DAY by My Self. Was Very Lonely Today!

[1Bluerose68]

I have social phobia and agoraphobia but still miss NOT being a part of get togethers at least being invited is Always a Nice Thing???So I was by myself today and it just feels sad to be by yourself. I have 0 persons to look after me or visa versa. I have a pet cat, and that's it???My friends all seem to change after college. they all grew separate and acted unequal to me, like so much Better than Me? So I work, and I work daily, and That's My Life. I feel Lonely when at home and there's 0 persons of interest here with me. Its so much nicer to have a choice whether we are choosing to attend a party or NOT. I have been shopping online most the day researching what if anything good is on sale for Black Friday. nothing REALLY impressed me though. I am picking up printer ink and a flash drive tomorrow though. When most the Big Crowds are less of a hassle for me. Happy Thanksgiving to All, and ALL a Goodnight. God my neck hurts, its so tight w/ muscle pain. Need some OTC i guess. Bye Bye.....Sorry if you take this post of mine as being whiney. I have no intention of sounding remorseful or alike a total downer. Actually with ALL the bad going on around me I have been quite OPTIMISTIC.....

[Fahrenheit]

I spent the holidays alone a couple heres ago when I moved to a new city, and it was pretty miserable. I was also struggling with a lot of anxiety and depression, then, so that made it even harder. I am sorry you were alone this year. I think it is a lot harder to make friends as an adult, especially if your an introverted AND socially anxious. It takes a lot of time to build friendships, especially the intimate, nourishing kind where you feel energized by their company and not drained. It took me a couple years to build that network, and it did involve going out when I wanted to stay in, and slowly opening up to more and more people. Do you have any co-workers you feel might make good candidates for a friend? I tend to want to find people where I just 'click' at the beginning, but I have become good friends with people who I initially did not feel the spark with. As an introvert, I love alone-time, but sometime I become so protective of my alone time that I isolate myself TOO much, and I realize it is effecting my mental health negatively. I am still struggling with that balance, but I think I am finding it slowly! I think there are things you can do to try to find friends (i.e. join meet up groups where you have shared interests) but that has be hit or miss, and take up a lot of energy. I think it is worth a shot, but also remember to be patient with he process and yourself!

Also, maybe check out the book, Lonely by Emily White? I read it when I was going through a period of anxiety/depression/loneliness and found it insightful and comforting.

[Dahila]

I spend countless holidays alone and would not make whiny thread about it, do you have any idea how many people are lonely and alone, how many people are not fortunate to have food or place to stay. Blu get your act together, and you do not have to inform public forum about everything you do, you are like us, not better. We are all dealing with heavy staff , but most people try to help others, you whine:((

[Fahrenheit]

Wow, Rose, sorry you got such an unsympathetic response to your post. Obviously there is a lot of suffering in the world, but that doesn't make yours unimportant. I think it is good you reached out, and hope you are not discouraged because people aren't always 100% receptive. We all struggle, so we should all be compassionate, regardless of how our pain compared to others. Talking about your loneliness is not selfish, and it does not mean you are diminishing or ignoring other peoples pain.

[Dahila]

Farenheit do not judge you are a baby on this forum, 23 points joined this month? Wait two three months and you will try to ignore it. She is long time here, and she had no help anyone, and helping others help yourself. Stop criticizing, for a while, and in 6 months we will see what you have to say

[1Bluerose68]

I can't control how you understand my feelings. I try Not to judge others and positive feedback is always nice. But it sounds like with all this stuff going on with society perhaps it can sound a bit too "Me Oriented" but I have no one else left to talk about.

[Dahila]

Blue you know I am like a grandma here? I voice my opinions, but I had not done it to hurt you, rather the opposite ;)) Talk baby talk if it gives you a relieve but think what thread you make, you want people to come and talk to you? This is my understanding. Try to post something positive once and you will see. Old members will post, instead of newbies who have no idea who you are:))

[The Intolerable Kid]

Having pets can take the edge off of that situation, but then technically you're not alone.
Honestly I have always found the key to enjoying true lone holidays is intoxicants. Drugs and/or booze make the holiday television shows more bearable, especially xmas television. Fortunately I haven't had to deal with a lone holiday in a few years, but I know what you mean.
I suppose to balance out the "evil" comment that puts drugs and alcohol in a positive light, I could suggest you volunteer at some community soup kitchen or something, but that would make me a hypocrite because I've never done that myself.

[Ponder]

I do like my own space, but understand the importance of interaction and feeling connected.

I hope your feeling better today Bluerose?