laura1989
11-26-2015, 05:23 PM
hello all,
i don't post often here but i do suffer from anxiety, tendencies to become depressed, and obsessive thoughts. i am a very introverted person and i tend to live in my own head. many people i am close with are unaware of my internal struggles because i feel it is extremely difficult to find someone that can relate to me and help me out of my current group of family and friends. it is for this reason that i turn to online communities, and i do find it helpful to have like-minded individuals to connect with when i'm having bad days.
overall, i've been having a good year. i moved into a new house and got married this year, am enjoying my job, and several other facets of my life. i've kept very busy so i find that my anxiety has been quiet - almost as if i just don't have the time or energy in my busy day to day life to sit around thinking about the things that i obsess over and become anxious about.
that was all well until this past weekend when i got a new tattoo. long story short, the tattoo did not turn out as planned (it's actually a beautiful tattoo and quite well done - but not what i wanted). because the tat isnt quite what i imagined it would be, i am obviously struggling with accepting that it is permanently etched onto my body, and it's making me extremely anxious. i have other tattoos (decent sized ones too) and they never caused this problem or bothered me in the least. i have never been plagued by feelings of regret over my tattoos or self loathing until this most recent addition. i have struggled with body image problems, as well as self injury throughout my life.
anyways, i completely understand that tattoo regret is a completely normal feeling that many experience. but i feel like this is running deeper for me. having this on me (it's still healing) is causing me to have a completely out of body experience. i do not feel like myself at all, and i am stressing and panicking about this to the point that i feel that my wonderful past year has been absolutely shattered because that person that i was before this tattoo is now gone. it's making me question my decision to have ever gotten tattooed in the first place (old work included) and making me despise myself overall. lately i've been going really hard at the gym and making some great progress, and have felt really good about myself. i feel like i've completely killed that by getting this tattoo. i feel like im being irrational but i've been having trouble sleeping and eating these past few days.
i'm having some trouble articulating my feelings completely, but i'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way after tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery, or any other type of body modification?
thank you all, i hope you're all well
i don't post often here but i do suffer from anxiety, tendencies to become depressed, and obsessive thoughts. i am a very introverted person and i tend to live in my own head. many people i am close with are unaware of my internal struggles because i feel it is extremely difficult to find someone that can relate to me and help me out of my current group of family and friends. it is for this reason that i turn to online communities, and i do find it helpful to have like-minded individuals to connect with when i'm having bad days.
overall, i've been having a good year. i moved into a new house and got married this year, am enjoying my job, and several other facets of my life. i've kept very busy so i find that my anxiety has been quiet - almost as if i just don't have the time or energy in my busy day to day life to sit around thinking about the things that i obsess over and become anxious about.
that was all well until this past weekend when i got a new tattoo. long story short, the tattoo did not turn out as planned (it's actually a beautiful tattoo and quite well done - but not what i wanted). because the tat isnt quite what i imagined it would be, i am obviously struggling with accepting that it is permanently etched onto my body, and it's making me extremely anxious. i have other tattoos (decent sized ones too) and they never caused this problem or bothered me in the least. i have never been plagued by feelings of regret over my tattoos or self loathing until this most recent addition. i have struggled with body image problems, as well as self injury throughout my life.
anyways, i completely understand that tattoo regret is a completely normal feeling that many experience. but i feel like this is running deeper for me. having this on me (it's still healing) is causing me to have a completely out of body experience. i do not feel like myself at all, and i am stressing and panicking about this to the point that i feel that my wonderful past year has been absolutely shattered because that person that i was before this tattoo is now gone. it's making me question my decision to have ever gotten tattooed in the first place (old work included) and making me despise myself overall. lately i've been going really hard at the gym and making some great progress, and have felt really good about myself. i feel like i've completely killed that by getting this tattoo. i feel like im being irrational but i've been having trouble sleeping and eating these past few days.
i'm having some trouble articulating my feelings completely, but i'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way after tattoos, piercings, plastic surgery, or any other type of body modification?
thank you all, i hope you're all well