Is Emotional Abuse The Cause Of My Anxiety.

[itdoesntreallymatter]

I've posted a few times, but never really, truly explaining my situation or who I am, for the sake of keeping a short, readable thread. I've been abused. I'm ready to speak out about it. So... Here it goes.

I'm 17. I have a beautiful daughter, who I was pregnant with at the age of 14 keep in mind, and work 2 jobs. I've always sort of had social anxiety, never really that bad though, just never talked in front of my classes, or never really had anything to say in public, I guess you could say I was mostly shy. I got depressed when I was pregnant, and shortly after.. I had a very emotionally abusive boyfriend, who I don't want to really get into, let's just say he's threatened me, stalked me, and now, finally has left me alone. He's my baby's father, and I just wanted to keep him around for the sake of our daughter, but that's kind of changed now.

Skip forward to this year. I kind of just got over my depression in a weird way. I never thought it was possible, but I guess I just pushed it aside for the sake of my daughter. NOW, I deal with severe anxiety.

It used to be around people, I would just stay in my house, and avoid all contact with people, besides my daughter and my mom, and sister. Now, I work at 2 fast food restaurants so it's gotten better. I missed being around people.

Then, I had a bug that was going around where I live, and it made me sick, dehydrated, and just overall tired. I went to the ER for a COMPLETELY different reason, may I tell you, it was the most unpleasant experience of my life.

I hate the hospital, always have, and always will. I went to the kiosk there, and they did my blood pressure, and heart rate and immediately sent me back because my heart rate was over 200, blood pressure was 190/100. They put me on an EKG, stopped my heart VIA IV, took my daughter, mom, and sister away from me.. The only people that keep me calm in situations.

Now I fear for my heart. I know that I will die eventually, but this is not the way I want to die, and not now. My baby is a year and a half old, and I just fear when I'm gone, her father will obtain custody, and do what has been done to me, to her.

Is it possible, deep down, that this could be from him? I have suppressed the thought a million times, and I never knew he was verbally abusing me until I went to the doctor for some much needed medication.. Then those words came out, "Hes verbally abusing you, get out of this relationship."

Much love from a terrified 17 year old girl, and thank you for taking the time to read this thread. It means much more for someone to finally listen.

[Enduronman]

Hello, and yes. Past, abusive, emotionally disturbing situations, stressful events, essentially trauma, turned into a PTSD of sorts, can and more then likely in this case. Is, that exact reason and cause for the anxiety that you now live with, deal with, cope with, and are haunted by daily. The fears of you early demise, and the fact that you don't want to place her into a position that she would be helpless and defenseless, is all adding to this complete disarray of thought within your mind. Creating fictional situations, events, or circumstances that have yet to happen, and more then likely won't anyway, also plays into this too....You, are creating all of this, within your own mind. Fear, worry, concern, fret, of the possible safety of your daughter that you obviously love dearly at such a young age, care for alone, take care of, is in itself, Admirable and Courageous yet its hard to even see it, feel it, sense it, with those other over-whelming thoughts..

You need to get in to see a Psychiatrist. Also, an MD that will actually listen to you, and also care about you too. Which, can sometimes be hard to find anymore. I am hoping that you already have one. A Psychiatrist can prescribe medications to help ease and alleviate some, if not all, of this activity within your mind. Your story reads like a PTSD/Anxiety/Depression/Minor Psychotic nature to me. A mix, of mental health disorders, but, there really is hope friend. You just have to make the effort to actually go and find it. This is not something that any natural substances are going to help to suppress, alleviate, and help so if someone even mentions that fish oil, or Vit D is going to help, which is their rights, I would suggest that you not pay much attention to the suggestion. They won't do a damn thing.

You need help, in a High Degree. High Level. From Highly skilled, trained, certified, Professionals. I also admire the fact, that you are only 17 years old with a level of maturity that surpasses some others that I know in their mid to late 20's. You're already gaining wisdom too. Which, is actually somewhat hard to obtain, especially at 17. You're also very smart as well. Intelligent, mature beyond your years, wise beyond your years, and this will all help you through this troubling time too. Use, what you've obviously been gifted with, to your advantage. Go, get what you need. You already know how too.

There's my 3 cents dear. I hope you find something of use within those words too, and I wish you all the best and a happy upcoming holiday too. Find, something that is good, and give thanks for it, and also her too...

Best wishes.

E-Man