I think I may be developing this...

[chris12345]

Hoping that telling my story will help me move on from this!!

I've always had slight anxiety but probably more just a lack of confidence, when I was younger in school I had issues with fainting a few times and the doctors were unable to find and cause. Thinking about it though I feel like it could partially be because of anxiety. Whenever I was in an uncomfortable situation sometimes involving discussing blood etc I would worry myself and the thoughts that I was going to faint started, then it would just happen... Fast forward maybe 14 years with no events and this year I started getting those feelings again...

The first time I recall it happening was the day after I had been drinking so was quite hungover and out of the house, all of a sudden I just felt dizzy and became pale but did not pass out. I put this down to the alcohol and didn't think too much of it!

Then not so long afterwards I had an altercation with the police on a night out and was in my opinion unfairly arrested and kept in a cell over night, during this I had a panic attack in the cell and complained the next day. Nothing was heard back until a few weeks later when they called on my door when I was out a few times to discuss the complaint. I started getting more and more anxious in this period and finally talked to them to discuss my complaint. It wasn't very helpful and I just wanted it all over so said I didn't want to follow it up. I still felt anxious when I was walking around by myself, like worried something was going to happen to me which is silly.

The week after I was with my fiance going into town again after I had been out the night before but had only had four drinks. I was fine and all of a sudden when I got onto the main high street I felt nervous like I was going to faint. I went for food and got a drink of water and felt better after this.

At work during this week I also felt funny during a staff meeting and was tempted to leave for fresh air but managed to see this out.

The week afterwards without and drink involved I was in a supermarket that wasn't even very busy and started having these thoughts again that I was going to pass out, I left the supermarket and continued to feel funny after.

I went into work the next day and was feeling funny still but lasted the full day, on that night I was going out with my friend to a concert and didn't drink before I was feeling heated and dehydrated with a head ache. I am still unsure if this was due to anxiety or if it was a virus going around, I took the rest of the week off work and felt okay at times but kept swinging into feeling dizzy. I went to the doctors but she said my heart pressure was fine, she has booked me in for blood tests shortly though.

On the weekend I went out for a walk and even went into town to convince myself that I was fine and walked around the busy streets with no problem.

On the Monday I went back to work, but was feeling a bit off all week and took Thursday and Friday off work. During this time at home I was fine and haven't had any problems. Today I went to Tesco and just before we were to leave I started to get a little anxious, when I got there I was a little nervy but overall I wasn't that bad and on the way home I was actually feeling better. Now sitting back at home I feel slightly nervy about going back to work tomorrow, like I haven't made any progress being off work.

I know if this is anxiety then I need to change my attitude towards it all and just be positive, get back to how I was just a few weeks ago, I need my confidence again. The last few weeks I haven't been exercising as when I over exerted myself I was feeling panicky but when I got in tonight I went on the exercise bike for a bit, I'm trying to eat more healthy, even bought a nutribullet to lift my moods if possible! Although I'm just a social smoker I haven't smoked for a few weeks and have cut caffeine out at work. The only drink I have had was a tipple with the football on Friday nothing too bad. The breathing techniques don't seem to help as if I am doing them then I'm thinking that I'm anxious which worries me more! I think the worse thing that's happened for me is self diagnosing myself with anxiety if I'm honest, as every time I have thoughts that I'm anxious it spirals into stupid voices in my head saying I'm gonna faint! Which I know is silly and I need to shut that voice out...

Anyways. I think that's my story? If anyone has any advice I'd be grateful but I just wanted to get it all off my chest for some kind of release... I really shouldn't have anything to be anxious about, I have a stable relationship and a calming working atmosphere, just possibly too many negative thoughts floating around in my head!!!!

[chris12345]

I forgot to say that I don't think I get enough sleep too... I was thinking about trying those kalms sleeping tablets to help with this, I don't stay awake stressing I just usually wake up early and can't get back to sleep. I don't know if this could be a cause too

[Anne1221]

Not getting enough sleep can really cause a lot of problems. Not sure what to do about it though.

[chris12345]

Not getting enough sleep can really cause a lot of problems. Not sure what to do about it though.

I don't think it's because of the lack of sleep, I had a great sleep last night and still feel all nervy about absolutely nothing today!

The last week's have been a real mix of ups and downs. When it goes away and I think I'm getting better I feel so happy and then I'll have a turn and I don't know why it sets me back so much...

At work I have been fine for the most part and yesterday I was feeling really good. But going out is still a struggle, went for a meal on Monday and all of a sudden I just felt strange like I needed to just leave for no reason, I haven't binge drinked or smoked in weeks, ate really healthy and been sleeping okay too. I should be feeling great but I always have a worry something will start again.

Blood test results tomorrow, hoping if somethings wrong they'll be able to help and if nothing is wrong maybe it'll push the negativity out of my head.

I really fear of this continues I won't have much of a life, my girlfriend has been very supportive as she has had struggles with anxiety too before but I doubt she will be happy if I struggle to go out places with her. Need to sort myself out soon :(

[Im-Suffering]

I will make a statement that will offend your sensibilities:

All of this is happening for a good reason.

So I will teach you what to do in this brief post.

Do not look to those areas you are happy with (work, parents as you mentioned - ) look at those mental issues (areas of your experience) your unhappy with. Thats where the anxiety sleeps. The answer as to where to look is within the negative thoughts.

There is a purpose to everything.

The thoughts are there simply because what you resist persists. Go back to the original fainting spells, and begin to recapitulate. Go into the current thoughts and work backwards until you find the beliefs that create your experience.

Should the blood tests return normal, do not push the thoughts away, that will only make them stronger and stronger as you have seen over the years, like a vice grip, until they finally get your attention.

Probe, investigate, ask questions to yourself, let your imagination process memories and replay them for you, listen, hear, and find the beliefs that created the thoughts. You have been thinking these thoughts for years now, and I am telling you this is natural given the beliefs behind them.

You are going back and examining your mind with the intent on changing false beliefs or healing trauma and shock. Shame, guilt and self esteem.

Do you understand? There is no other way. This is personal work you need to do. Remember, the beliefs are conscious, work your way to them through the speech or communication the thoughts convey, and within the fears they create.