Depressed, can't shake this feeling....

[dotcom02]

My thoughts are all over the place. I'm 26yo, army veteran, and I have been to a mental professional who said I had "occupational anxiety". I don't know if its genetic but my brother has bad anxiety and he can't go out of his comfort zone . I'm sure I have more than just "occupational anxiety" because I'm out of the service and I still have wondering thoughts. I over think things, I take a situation and think every possible outcome, I hold a grudge, anger is out of control, can barely sleep and I can't just stop and relax at any point of the day. I'm not here to debate if I have anxiety. I keep getting depressed and I can't stop and get out of it, I can only ride it out however long it takes. In 2013, while active duty, I got so depressed I almost committed suicide. I am no longer in the service and thought this would all be something in the past but I keep going into depression. First it was money problems and got through it, then the memory of a friend who committed suicide. Now I've alienated myself from my friends and haven't talked to anyone in days. I'm started to debate if they are even my friends of 8+ years. I don't know what to do anymore. I have no friends, pathetic, no hope to even become anything of myself. I feel there no reason why I'm here. I'm so confused and exhausted.

[Anne1221]

First of all, thank you for your service! Can you reach out to anyone in your life? the more contacts you have, the more helpful it will be.

[dotcom02]

First of all, thank you for your service! Can you reach out to anyone in your life? the more contacts you have, the more helpful it will be.

I feel the people around me don't even care. The only true friend I ever had committed suicide. I don't really have anyone but one or two people who would actually give a damn if I asked them for emotional support. That might be my problem also but I'm not a person to show my emotions to anyone. It all balls up inside until I get by myself then it explodes.

[Anne1221]

Can you maybe see a therapist? Join any groups? Any support groups? Just a tiny start to get yourself out of your own self (if you know what I mean) would be helpful. Do you want to consider an antidepressant? They are not addictive and they can pull you out of that deep darkness and give you some light. (When I don't take mine, I feel exactly as you do). I hate it that the VA is so awful and gives poor health care to veterans, but there must be someone out there who can help you. If all else fails, try a church maybe? Maybe you should try reaching out to those one or two people? Even that little start may trigger something else.

[dotcom02]

Can you maybe see a therapist? Join any groups? Any support groups? Just a tiny start to get yourself out of your own self (if you know what I mean) would be helpful. Do you want to consider an antidepressant? They are not addictive and they can pull you out of that deep darkness and give you some light. (When I don't take mine, I feel exactly as you do). I hate it that the VA is so awful and gives poor health care to veterans, but there must be someone out there who can help you. If all else fails, try a church maybe? Maybe you should try reaching out to those one or two people? Even that little start may trigger something else.

I don't deal with the VA, I pay for my own health coverage to avoid them. I have plans tomorrow to find a mental professional and make an appointment. I've realized I'm not getting over this without help. I was prescribed antihistamines when my anxiety was too much in the service and I kept them. I had to take a few of them the other night to calm me down when I knew I was getting bad.

[dotcom02]

I feel on top of the world right now, its weird. Not even 24 hours ago I felt like punching someone. I think I've finally accepted all the decisions I've made recently. I pushed out allots of my friends that I felt were fake. Its about the weirdest thing ever but I don't ever want to leave this feeling right now. Its like I'm taking life by the horns and ready to start a new chapter in life. Anyone care to explain this?

[JaneCrory]

I feel on top of the world right now, its weird. Not even 24 hours ago I felt like punching someone. I think I've finally accepted all the decisions I've made recently. I pushed out allots of my friends that I felt were fake. Its about the weirdest thing ever but I don't ever want to leave this feeling right now. Its like I'm taking life by the horns and ready to start a new chapter in life. Anyone care to explain this?

I felt like that several weeks ago, it was the best I'd felt in a while. I got myself back to work, I felt upbeat and positive. I've even been talking about saving for a holiday to America (I'd previously said I'd never go back due to an increased fear of flying!). But over the past few weeks, I've felt myself sliding down - first being very on edge and easily irritated. Then the last several days, my mood has dropped down & down. I had to come home from work today as I felt like I couldn't cope. I feel so much better sitting here in my comfy clothes and my housecoat just chilling watching TV.

I hope your good feeling continues.
x

[dotcom02]

Been mood changing between on top of the world to pondering the same things I was before, the only difference is the change in friends. Been talking to a buddy of mine who shares allot more in common than I thought. Its amazing the common grounds we share since I've talked to him. I've under appreciated my real friends for fake friends for too long. I need my thoughts to get back on track with my intentions. I need to settle in after all these new changes but it just like it adding to the prior anxiety I had before.

[dotcom02]

Everything came crashing down today. I build everything up in the last week to come crashing down in a matter of a few hours. This forum is about the only thing that I can expect to relate to me. I hate this, I hate being depressed. All I can think about is the evil in everyone. No matter how hard I try, I see the negative intentions in EVERYONE. I see EVERY negative aspect in life. I'm so exhausted right now.

[sfslol]

Are you seeing a physiologist? Even though it can be embarrassing and a big hassle, personally it has helped me a lot. Just having someone to talk to about whatever you feel is very comforting.

[RoderickLariviere]

Great you have got some good feelings to live your life better. You should also see a good therapist to manage your mood swings and other anxiety issues.
Taking physiologist treatment helped me a lot.