My new Dog Has Helped Me A Lot... But Now I Might Have To Get Rid Of Him.

[QuietRose]

So, about a year ago now I finally started getting help for my anxiety. Medication and counseling, meditation, exposure therapy. I tried everything and anything that might help me so I could get back to college this upcoming spring. I've been making good progress, I've been feeling better about going out by myself now. And I can actually go shopping in Wal-Mart and the mall without freaking myself out too much. I was doing good, but still a long way off from feeling capable of going back to school. So I asked my doctor about some other strategies I could try, and she mentioned that maybe having a pet of my own could help me calm down while at home. Of course I've had pets around all my life, but I've never had one that has slept with me and bonded with me like they usually do with my mom and sister. So I decided to adopt one, and I instantly fell in love with a medium Dachshund Labrador mix. He was still young and was so happy and bouncy. We brought him home and found that he was terrified of men, which was temporarily a problem with my mom's boyfriend in the house. But he quickly came around and began to warm up to him and my brother. At first I was a little apprehensive of him. I've always been awkward around children and such, and for some reason my brain just seemed to categorize him as a small child and I was super awkward around him at first. In the beginning i would have never imagined that I would be as attached to him as I am now. He's helped me so much. i never realized how comforting it would be to have him there with me as I had an attack or had a bad day. Of course he's a puppy, and a dog, and so he caused quite a bit of trouble. But now he's developed this strange habit that we can't seem to break him of. I take him out so often it's borderline ridiculous, mostly just to walk, but of course to also do his business and such. He's only ever went to the bathroom in the house once or twice, except my mother's bed seems to be a problem area. I could have already taken him out but he still goes in there and pees on her bed. He's never done that on me or my sister's bed. Just hers. Tonight he did it again when I wasn't watching for a few seconds, and the screaming fit my mother went on has me so worked up I'm terrified I might have an attack tonight. I don't know what I'll do if i have to get rid of him. Getting another dog won't be an option after this, I'm just too attached. I'm more than old enough to move out on my own by now, but I don't know if I'd be able to handle being alone right now. I know i have to take big steps to get myself into the place I mentally want to be, but this just feels too big.
I don't know what I should do. Before I got him I barely ever left my room unless I had to. I don't want to go back to that. I feel like adopting him was a huge step in the right direction, and that by getting rid of him I'll just be taking another huge step back.
I also don't know how posting this will help, but I just can't keep holding things inside myself anymore. The only one who seems to take my anxiety seriously is my sister. I don't need the world to accommodate my anxiety, but is it too much to ask for the people closest to me to at least try and understand?

[lady grantham]

hey rose,

welcome here!

I think it's great you're getting help, and it's great you're moving in the right direction

unfortunately, I don't have any pets at all, but here they are great for mental health (anxiety or otherwise), and it's something I may look in to once i'm at a more stable place in my life

I hope you don't have to get rid of him.. sounds like the dog is really helping you

[lolfeg123]

Have you tried pet school? I've heard a lot of success stories where dogs learn not to urinate in the house, and I believe it takes 2-3 weeks to achieve this goal. With regard to your anxiety, belly breathing is the way to go :)
GOod luck.

[Sarbear]

Hi QuietRose, I recently joined this forum and am a huge animal lover! It sounds like you have such a special bond with him and I'm sorry it's not going as smoothly now. I really hope you can keep him because he sounds like he is doing wonders for your anxiety. I totally agree with lolfeg123, is it possible for you to hire a trainer or attend doggy school? What about going to talk with your veterinarian? Sometimes animals urinate in inappropriate places when they have a urinary tract infection so taking him in for a check up might not be a bad idea. Maybe he can still smell it also so cleaning the area thoroughly with an enzymatic pet cleaner (I love Natures Miracle) also. Is there something in his life that changed? Inappropriate urination can also be behavioral. A new pet (even the neighbors getting a new dog or something), new person, some other change or change of routine that could be causing him stress? If no to any of this is it possible to have him shut out of that room, either by closing the door or getting a baby gate maybe? I'm sorry if my answer was more about the dog than you, I'm in the veterinary field so it's a habit. I really hope you can find a solution that means him staying with you as it sounds like he has a good home and is really helping your mental health also. Keep us posted!

[Dahila]

I had this problem and it is anxiety in your pet, he feels abandoned. For us leaving a pet for two hours is ok, but for them it is for always!!!
Why do you not teach him to be in crate when you can not watch him. what chance he has to get addopted when he will do it again and again. People have no understanding of animals. Do not quit on him, he has as much anxiety as you do. He does not know what to do. Sarbear just remind me about a way of cutting on it. Use the parfum. Dogs hate parfum smell, he will avoided the place. Touch him under the belly if it is constantly wet go to vet. UTI, for sure. The other thing is it takes for dog a good 8 months to keep the urine properly. some do it quicker some takes longer. To housebreak a puppy is Hercules job:)) but it is worth it. I had not seen how old is the puppy.
6 weeks old -10-15 urination at 24 hours, stool up to 6 times, must be fed 4 times a day. 8 weeks ; up to 10 urination and 3 -4 stools. Three months 5-6 urination or less and 2 stools. 8 months old is enough one run a day of 25 minutes or more, 3 times outside for urination and 2 for stool if you feed them twice a day which is proper. In the morning so they relieve themselves at late evening and after last walk to the first walk is for relieving it too. Good luck and ask question and start train the puppy from the beginning and do not yell at him

[Fahrenheit]

Hey there. I second Dahlia & Sarbears suggestion that you investigate the cause of his behavior - if you address that, the behavior can be fixed. Also, if you communicate to your mother that you are working on figuring out why he is peeing on her bed, she will probably be understanding. New pets take time to adjust, especially when they are young. I know it is stressful, but I am confident that if you find the underlying 'cause the inappropriate urination will stop. Good luck and let us know how it works out! It sounds like you and your dog have a super close bond!

[gadguy]

Gog I am assuming is male....you and your mother female. He sees himself as head of the pack. however he see's your Mother a threat to his dominance so he marks his territory on her bed were her smell is prominent. Typical male pack animal behavior its in alll males DNA to protect and dominate. Get him neutered it may help and your mother will also have to assert her dominance over him.

[Dahila]

Please, neutering an animal is just barbaric, why this procedure is so popular here? I mean USA and Canada. No one would think about doing it in Europe when I was a judge on dog shows. It is very easy to control your animal if he/she is trained, I do believe it can be a bit of hustle to keep the house clean but my females were walking in the underwear with the protection, and my house was cleaner then than now when I have no animals or small children. he is just a puppy at least I got the impression that the dog is a few month old. He has not crazy hormones yet:))
yOu mom must be second after you, and the dog has anxiety and separation issues. They are like us , believe or not.........

[gadguy]

Please, neutering an animal is just barbaric, why this procedure is so popular here? I mean USA and Canada. No one would think about doing it in Europe when I was a judge on dog shows. It is very easy to control your animal if he/she is trained, I do believe it can be a bit of hustle to keep the house clean but my females were walking in the underwear with the protection, and my house was cleaner then than now when I have no animals or small children. he is just a puppy at least I got the impression that the dog is a few month old. He has not crazy hormones yet:))
yOu mom must be second after you, and the dog has anxiety and separation issues. They are like us , believe or not.........

Two reasons,
(1) I spay or neuter all pets I have no intention of breeding, it just being a good pet owner and not contributing to the surplus pet population...many of which end up at shelters and face a fate worse than spaying or neutering.

(2) It will calm a male dog down, he may be a puppy now but it want be long before he will (excuse the term)be humping everything in site..including your leg, furniture and guest, also if a female goes into heat in neighborhood be prepared for scratched doors, chewed wood work and destroyed blinds.

Personally I have no pets now, found I became to dependent on then and cut myself off from world, I never had house pets. The rule is if it does not use TP it does not come in house.

Also I prefer mutts...pure breeds have to many problems due to being inbreed to achieve certain characteristics, making for a limited gene pool.

[Dahila]

dog must have the hormones working before is spayed. Gadguy I get the thing about population and yes, it is better to spay them that let them have puppies. Just remember dog male does not have puppies:))
It is more difficult to train them when they are not spayed but I prefer not the mule, but the horse. I hope you understand what I say. I agree with you about Mutts, I prefer them too, no diseases, not constant problems. I had bread and train Boxers for over 25 years. then had one black lab; pure breed and she costed me a lot of heartbreak and money spend on vet. I had her for over 12 years even with her being on prednisone for the last few years. I love dogs, but I do not own one due my age and health anxiety (what if I get stroke and my dog goes to some strangers, god forbid abusers) I miss having a dog, though. They always helped me to control the anxiety