Coping mechanisms

[Jessicaleanne1992]

I need some coping strategies. My bf of a year broke up with me. For days I was a blobbering mess in the floor unless I was on auto pilot to get through work. I am finally getting better. It's only been a week and a half. I begged him to try again but that's not going to happen. I have to face this. That we won't be together and that it was not normal or ok for m to make him the center of my universe. I literally felt like dying when he ended it. I just wanted to die. I know that's extreme but that's how my brain is. Dramatic. Now I feel lost. Empty. I see him in everything. I miss him so much my heart hurts. Idk how to get over this. I'm miserable. Please help.

[MiST]

It's a cliché but time is all you need, time will heal your heart and your head.

[NixonRulz]

I need some coping strategies. My bf of a year broke up with me. For days I was a blobbering mess in the floor unless I was on auto pilot to get through work. I am finally getting better. It's only been a week and a half. I begged him to try again but that's not going to happen. I have to face this. That we won't be together and that it was not normal or ok for m to make him the center of my universe. I literally felt like dying when he ended it. I just wanted to die. I know that's extreme but that's how my brain is. Dramatic. Now I feel lost. Empty. I see him in everything. I miss him so much my heart hurts. Idk how to get over this. I'm miserable. Please help.

What you are going through is completely normal. Bitches always broke my heart :p

Like everything else, if you have anxiety, things like this are even worse than for most. We tend to fixate on things so it is hard to stop dwelling or worrying

This may not be helpful but I will say what helped me greatly. I learned to look at my anxiety as something outside of me. When I was being unhealthy by overly thinking about something, I would remind myself that it wasn't me that is fixating, it is my anxiety. I kinda learned to ignore it after that

Other than that, coping advice I would give has already been given by friends and family. Go out, focus on an existing or new hobby, take a college course, etc...

And as far as he being the center of your universe.....that is a trait of anxiety too. In time, you will realize he isn't. I believe you love him but you also built your need for him up in your mind

I hope you are feeling better

[Jessicaleanne1992]

What you are going through is completely normal. Bitches always broke my heart :p

Like everything else, if you have anxiety, things like this are even worse than for most. We tend to fixate on things so it is hard to stop dwelling or worrying

This may not be helpful but I will say what helped me greatly. I learned to look at my anxiety as something outside of me. When I was being unhealthy by overly thinking about something, I would remind myself that it wasn't me that is fixating, it is my anxiety. I kinda learned to ignore it after that

Other than that, coping advice I would give has already been given by friends and family. Go out, focus on an existing or new hobby, take a college course, etc...

And as far as he being the center of your universe.....that is a trait of anxiety too. In time, you will realize he isn't. I believe you love him but you also built your need for him up in your mind

I hope you are feeling better


Thanks for the replies. I'm feeling a lot better. Thank goodness.

[Jessicaleanne1992]

Thanks for the replies. I'm feeling a lot better. Thank goodness.

I spoke too soon. I looked at his insta and saw other girls and now I'm worse than I was before. I just want to sleep and not wake up.

[snowberry]

I spoke too soon. I looked at his insta and saw other girls and now I'm worse than I was before. I just want to sleep and not wake up.

Well, there's your first mistake.

I'm a strong believer that people can be friends with their exes, but right now is not that time, and seeing him on social media is not going to help you. So please unfollow him, or at least stay away from his pages, for the time being.

Have you done that? Good.

Now I want to you to do whatever it is you need to do - cry, scream into a pillow - until you feel calmer and more clear-headed. Then, once you feel able, I want you to say to yourself: "I am in a lot of pain right now and am going to feel crappy for a while. I just need to get on with my life and let time pass."

Because it's inescapable that you're going to go through pain, because whether you have anxiety or not, a break-up is going to feel horrible, especially when you weren't ready for the relationship to end.

What you can control is what you do now. So definitely don't spend time obsessing about him through social media, gossip, or anything like that. Designate two hours of your day to think about him and cry, etc., (an hour in the morning, an hour in the evening but not before bedtime,) and then for the rest of the time make a real effort to get on with what it is you need to be doing. Make an effort to see friends, lean on your closest ones for support, but also make a real effort to be interested in them and their lives so as to get yourself out of your own head.

Make sure you treat yourself to pizza, ice cream, a new dress or make-up set, whatever it is that can give your spirits a little lift. But ultimately, make a real effort to carry on through the pain. If you find yourself in very dark places and struggle to stay on top of your life, please seek medical attention or counselling.

It will take a lot of time, but one day you WILL look back and find that you can barely remember what his face looks like. Good luck and remember that this forum is always here for you.